How to improve internal dialogue, get rid of negativity and become more successful

What is internal dialogue

Each of us has a movie spinning in our heads based on our own life. Memories are replaced by illustrations of the future. Scraps of songs are mixed with snippets of conversations and advertising slogans. Psychologists call this self-talk or self-talk.

The average rate of The Rate of Inner Speech of internal dialogue is 4,000 words per minute. It is about 20 times faster than speaking.

Imagine a TV turned on for the background. It is easy to overlook in everyday affairs that the film is over and news about disasters, epidemics and terrorist attacks are pouring from the screen. It's the same story with internal dialogue. If left unattended, you can very soon find yourself trapped in painful memories or fears.

Such thoughts over time deform emotions, actions, and habits.

Why control it

Concentrating on negative thoughts triggers the release of cortisol. How to trick your brain for happiness, a stress hormone. It destroys neurons in the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for forming new memories. This is how we get stuck in bygone situations and relive them over and over again.

Negative thoughts are harbingers of negative emotions: sadness, anger, and anxiety. Scientists have found Using executive control training to suppress amygdala reactivity to aversive information that you can purposefully switch emotions. To do this, you need to control your thoughts.

Thought control does not guarantee instant and absolute happiness, but it is a huge step towards it.

The power of positive thinking isn't just an annoying cliché, it's a description of a real phenomenon. Removing negative thoughts reduces activity in the amygdala. This area of the brain is responsible for strong emotions, including sadness and anxiety. Pleasant thoughts increase activity in the frontal cortex, which is responsible for emotional regulation.

Clearing the mind of unnecessary thoughts allows you to choose what emotions to experience. You find peace of mind. This means courage and a lot of energy for new achievements, fresh solutions for stagnant situations and the freedom to act not according to the old template, but of our own free will.

How to make your inner dialogue positive

1. Reduce the amount of information entering the brain

When you read and look at more than you can absorb, a toxic compote of disparate facts is brewed in your mind. Unsubscribe from unnecessary newsletters, stop flipping through social media feeds. Instead of surfing the Internet, engage in any vigorous activity. Sports, cleaning, cooking, digging trenches - to your taste. This will help you focus on the present moment. So, stop thinking about what is not.

2. Use the DES technique

Sometimes you are not aware of the existence of an internal dialogue. Hence the impossibility of managing it. DES (Descriptive Experience Sampling) is a method designed to draw your attention to your own thoughts. And get one step closer to their control.

Set 3-4 random alarms on your phone a day, or ask a friend about it. Let the signals repeat at different times of the day throughout the week. It is important that you do not expect them: it can distort your thoughts and the whole experiment. As soon as you hear the signal, write down what you were thinking at that moment.

3. Write in the morning

First thing each morning, fill out three A4 sheets of paper by hand. Write anything, no censorship or commas. If you don't know what to write, keep writing until you have thoughts.

Such "morning pages" will act as a drainage system for the brain. Mental trash poured onto paper will not be as intrusive during the day.

After three weeks, not earlier, re-read what you have written. You will see that thoughts ride the trams on the same rails. Sometimes this awareness is enough for a serious leap in the development of mental culture.

4. Change negative language to challenges

When you notice a negative thought, even for a second, stop yourself. Dare to rephrase it as a challenge. Don't worry about being late, but think about how to make it. Instead of grumbling, "I am pissed off by teamwork with this idiot," ask yourself, "How can I work with this person more effectively?" Did you want to scold or call yourself for a mistake? Better think about what actions will make you more competent. You are most likely in control of what you say to others. So keep track of the cues addressed to yourself.

The first results will appear within a week. And in a month, expect a powerful shift in perception for the better.

5. Develop a reflex

Put a rubber band or rubber bracelet on your hand. Whenever you find yourself thinking unpleasantly or feeling sorry for yourself, pull back the rubber band and let it go abruptly. Slap! If you do this exercise honestly, your wrist will ache by the evening of the first day. But after two or three weeks, you will be much more comfortable alone with your thoughts.

6. Act without fanaticism

Desperate pursuit of eternal positivity is painful. If you want to suffer a little - to your health! The main thing is not to beat yourself up for being obsessed with sad thoughts. Allow yourself not to worry about not having fun. The negative self-talk will begin to dissolve on its own.

Thoughts form a state and an intention to act. Help or hinder progress towards goals. Manage Your Internal Dialogue! Otherwise, it will be run by the media and vacuum cleaner sellers.

It is not easy to program yourself into new mental habits, but the effect is worth it. Choose two or three techniques for yourself and practice them for 20 days. You will be amazed at how radically your mental space will be cleared and your well-being will improve.