How to establish communication with strangers, or A few words about the benefits of "superficial" conversations

Do you like going to various events and in the end find yourself a silent type, standing in a corner far from lively conversation, silently sipping his coffee? The ability to maintain a conversation during various communications (and even with complete strangers) is nowadays practically a Must Have skill. Therefore, below we will look at a few tips that will help you "talk" and find common topics in almost any company.

What is it for? You will be able to find a common language with the people you need and make new contacts. Yes, you may not feel very fun at first, but remember that the questions below can lead to more interesting conversations. Their goal is not to become best friends or to get themselves a new client right on the spot (although, of course, it is nice when this happens instantly, but as a rule it is not). The purpose of such mini-conversations is to find common points of contact with the interlocutor, which in the future will help you continue the conversation you have begun with a common mutual interest.

In fact, it is very easy to conduct a conversation if you learn to listen and ask the appropriate clarifying questions that will emerge from your dialogue. All you need to do is prepare a few questions in advance. If a person is willing to make contact, then you can continue to actively participate in the conversation.

When the person you are communicating with is not actively involved in the conversation with you, this is a red flag for you to say to yourself, "Okay, this is not one of the people I need, it's time to move on and meet someone else."

Ultimately, during this first contact, each person decides whether to continue contact with the other person. During these small conversations, people form their opinion about who you are, how competent you are, and whether they trust you.

Why not talk about work? In fact, conversations about work and business are very limited: it can be training, what people are doing at the moment, big events in the life of a company or project, and so on. Such conversations do not work well and poorly establish communication between people. There are people you may have known for years and never hear them talk about work. Or, assume that the people you are talking to are retirees or not interested in getting new clients. Talking too much about your work can tire the other participants in the conversation with too much "professional jargon", for example. Watch for signals from your interlocutors. How do they react to talking to you? Are you going to find someone else and secretly dream of getting rid of you? Are they listening and do they understand what you are saying? Are you overloading them with information they don't need? Do you turn the dialogue into a monologue, preventing others from sharing their ideas or asking questions?

how to find a topic for conversation with a stranger

An important skill is also the ability to finish a topic on time and not always try to be right and prove it. By and large, we must value the opinions of others and recognize that it is not so important to win every argument.

When it comes to a little first conversation, don't try to impress everyone with something smart every time you open your mouth. Your words may be forgotten, but how you make people feel they will remember.

Now, back to the practical part. Below are four questions that we hope will help you when you’re trying to figure out what to say and don’t know.

What do you do when you are not at work or activities like this?

This question encourages the interlocutor to talk about their hobbies and interests. It's also a great way to add enthusiasm to a fading conversation.

Are you going somewhere this summer?

This question can lead to conversations about family, reveal interests, and if you want to talk about travel, this is a surefire way to keep the conversation interesting.

How did you become what you become?

For some, the journey to the place and the job they are doing today can be a very interesting story. This will be a great question for your interlocutor and an opportunity to revisit their success story and talk about what drives them.

How do you relate to this event?

This question can reveal mutual contacts and usually leads to more useful and interesting answers than if you simply asked, "Have you been to this event before?"

Share your ideas on this. What questions are you using?