How to find strength in a difficult situation and not be afraid to be yourself: 5 life lessons from a cyborg

How to accept yourself new

Probably, here it is worth starting from the very beginning. I really did not want to amputate my arm and dragged it to the operation for almost a year, for which I paid a lot.

After amputation, the picture of the world breaks down and one has to learn to live in a new reality. Either accept it or leave. In the first days, Nick Vuychich's speeches helped me a lot. If a person without arms and legs can be happy, then why am I standing here and whining?

Then my gaze switched from what I had lost to what I have: two legs, a bright head, an arm, and so on. We take it for granted and therefore don't really appreciate it. Remember how we feel about health and body in childhood and adolescence? Only after going through some problems, we begin to appreciate our body. Someone understands this after a fracture, while someone needs amputation or even cancer.

On the other side of acceptance are people. They can give both happiness and great hatred. When I walked the streets of Moscow, each person turned around and looked at me, at my disability at that time. Disability of the soul. It is very destructive, instead of positive emotions and support, I felt only anger and something like "let them burn in hell."

I had to learn to accept myself for who I am, because it is no longer possible to correct the amputation. What I did for this:

I made a decision for myself: “This is my new reality, new me. Nothing else can be corrected, so there is no need to think about it."
I decided that my condition would never again depend on those around me. Thoughts, emotions - everything is created only inside me and then goes outside.
Very often I got up at the mirror and shouted to myself: "I accept myself as I am!" It knocks all the crap out of my head.
I told my friends and acquaintances. I opened up to the world. After I accepted myself, I gave a chance to the world to accept me as I am. And the world accepted.

How not to lose heart every day

I have a clear and understandable schedule of the day with time for a miracle. All my practices are built in a certain system, it includes health care and work.

The most powerful source of strength for me is my mission.

Once I felt that I could be happy in any situation, love in any situation and live in any situation.

It's all about the attention and who or what I'm directing it to. And it's not at all about happiness, love and life. They should be like a layer, like a starting point in order to jump higher - to dreams and mission.

I do not believe in mission, I just prefer to choose the mission for myself. It is global, and I divide it into small goals with a taste of happiness and love. My rules of cheeriness:

Daily spiritual practice - whatever you like. Silence, working out the chakras, qigong, prayer, gratitude - whatever you like.
Sports to maintain the health of the body 3-4 times a week.
Pleasure and joy. These can be pleasant events, food, communication, sex. The main thing is not to make this the main task.

Create a mission for yourself. You can change it, but now it is she who will not let you fall into despondency.

How not to be afraid to show individuality

I don't really like the word "individuality". I prefer to talk about my path more. We do not need to specifically stand out, separate from society, saying: "I am so good, and they are bad."We all live in the same world, and we need to respect the path of those who are near.

I'd rather share on the topic "How to have the courage to be yourself?" Here the question already contains the answer. Being yourself is courage. Be yourself in values, principles, dreams. Especially if you are not like everyone else. And when you are you, it is more than an individual. People feel it on some cosmic level. You don't need extra shocking, you become much stronger when you just go your own way.

How to set a goal and stay on track

A person should think with his head and listen with his heart. This means that when you have chosen a goal, and after a week or two have already outgrown it or began to develop along a different path, you do not need to be afraid to change it. You don't have to be a stone. The Universe does not like ossification, it is always moving, and it is from it that I learn most of all.

Our life is an interesting game, and what we direct our consciousness to is our world. Point it to whatever you want.

I recently had the following big goal. I am very grateful to the previous one, she taught me a lot. I go to goals by trial and error, especially big ones, and I try not to shout about them. Because if this goal is a mistake, then it will need to be changed. In my head I will change it very quickly, but in the physical world and in the thoughts of people - already with difficulty.

I no longer go to any seminars, trainings, etc. Previously, they contributed to development, but now I have found the main teacher - this is life itself.

To achieve my goals, I try to work according to my system and record the results on a weekly basis. I record health, finances, reputation and prospects. And I also wish and dream a lot - in my opinion, this is a key moment on the way to the goal.

What should a person do in a difficult situation

Solve all questions and problems gradually. If you don't have a hand, you put on a prosthesis and you can't whine. Moreover, they are free in Russia. If you go blind, earn money and perform the operation. You need to take responsibility for your actions constantly, at every moment of time.

I don't like people who whine. I can't respect them after what others go through while remaining calm.

I used to work in one training center. At that time, I had already undergone amputation, 10 courses of chemotherapy and continued treatment. A man came to me for a consultation. He was doing relatively well, and he began to tell me how hard it was for him in business. He said that he wants 300 thousand instead of 70 and does not know how to achieve this, how bad everything is, and so on. After this incident, I just quit. When you are fighting a fatal disease, and a healthy strong man whines to you that something is not working out for him, this is insanity, in my opinion.

And briefly. What to do if you find yourself in a difficult situation: