11 ways to piss off anyone who thinks logically

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Find out what actions and words can turn cute people with good logical thinking into angry characters from your personal nightmare.

1. Make decisions based only on intuition

“My intuition tells me that a child should not be vaccinated against measles and polio, because all doctors receive kickbacks for the vaccinations they prescribe, but in fact they do not help. And in general, a friend of my friend's child fell ill with autism after being vaccinated against measles, although the doctor says that this is not so, but I guess something! I'm 99% sure that you have heard such a monologue at least once. To act on a whim, at the call of nature, or as the sixth sense tells you - the best way to look like an idiot in the eyes of others, if they are not devoid of elementary logic.

2. Start thinking without understanding the question

The second reliable way to be seen as an ignoramus in the eyes of a person inclined to rationale any aspect of life. Surely there are such people among your friends: having picked up fashionable quotes, facts accidentally gleaned from the Internet and scraps of programs on TV, they are reputed to be specialists in a whole bunch of questions, in fact, without bothering to figure out even one topic and work it out to the end. Even more regretfully, there are a lot of such people in the modern education system on the territory of the CIS countries (especially in the humanities).

3. Exaggerate everything to attack the interlocutor

Arthur Schopenhauer's essay on 38 ways to win in an argument clearly shows that you don't need to be guided by logic and reasonable arguments to win a debate. Exaggerating and exaggerating some insignificant detail or problem, generalizing and attacking these "facts" is a guarantee of victory in political or public debate. And also a reliable way to get sick of a man with iron logic.

4. Throw in expert quotes, often misinterpreting them

A classic example is referring an arguing logician to Turing in a computer science debate, or to Hawking in a heated discussion of the mysteries of the universe.

5. Constantly confuse cause and effect

One of the best ways to piss off people whose logic is similar to steel. As you know, if two events happened simultaneously or one after another, this does not mean at all that one caused the other. But if you want to annoy a person with an analytical mindset, then argue, for example, that the fall of the Tunguska meteorite was one of the prerequisites for the civil war and the growth of protest moods in post-tsarist Russia.

6. Absolutely disregard netiquette when communicating by email

This is a great way to piss off not only people with good logical thinking, but all normal people in general. Attach 20 responses to one letter, send emails to two colleagues to the entire department of 50 people, constantly click on the "Reply all" button - in general, have fun in full. A guaranteed way to go crazy and be on the spam lists of 90% of colleagues and partners (and logic will often have nothing to do with it).

7. Confuse quotes and words when defending your point of view

Confuse Socrates, Aristotle, and Lenin when arguing with fellow historians. Tell your wife: "Honey, but you yourself said that visage and makeup are almost the same thing." Ask a vegetarian (not vegan) why he drinks milk, because this is an animal product. In a word, prove with the stubbornness of a mountain sheep that “it is written in the book,” and you are guaranteed irritation from logically thinking interlocutors.

8. Claim anything as a fait accompli

“A sea monster lives in Lake Loch Ness, everyone knows that”, “The USSR won the Second World War”, “Only Orthodoxy can become a unifying force for modern society” - “academic” heresy of this kind can not only be heard in kitchens or among grandmothers on the benches, but also read in quite well-known publications and websites. Draw your own conclusions.

9. Constantly write with monstrous mistakes

"Correct", "not true", "catch", other "schoolchildren" and the constant use of slang words, anglicisms and "shabby insights with a comment for our future approval" will make you a black plague for a logical person.

10. Refer to scenes and events from films in arguments where facts play a key role

For example, describe the events of the end of WWII from Saving Private Ryan or life in the Middle Ages based on Vikings, and the choice of weapons at the dawn of mankind through the prism of Million BC and Game of Thrones.

11. Ask more stupid questions

Having forgotten how to Google and constantly asking questions out of curiosity, you will definitely become a thunderstorm for all logically thinking people (and a living embodiment of blondes from bearded jokes at the same time).