How to stop being late

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

A guide for chronic latecomers and those who are constantly waiting for them.

Should I not know what being late is. It doesn't matter what the situation is: meeting with a friend, work, study or bus. I'm always late. Is always. This is annoying and annoying. Infuriates me and others. It doesn't matter what time I wake up. Every time, by God, every time I promise myself not to do this again: to get up earlier, not to bring everything to the last minute, to prepare in advance. Reprimands at work, grievances from friends and reproaches from loved ones only work at first. After some time, everything returns to normal again.

Punctual people are constantly trying to fix people like me - non-punctual Australopithecus who, in their opinion, have no idea what time is. It seems to them that we are constantly late because we are selfish and inattentive. In fact, persistent tardiness is a much more complex problem than meets the eye.

It turns out that chronic "latecomers" have a clear pattern:

• they are prone to procrastination,
• they have problems with self-control (they are more prone to bad habits: overeating, alcoholism, gambling addiction, shopaholism),
• they are constantly looking for thrills,
• they are characterized by: attention deficit disorder, anxiety, problems with focusing attention.

Companions who are constantly late often struggle with feelings of anxiety, distraction, split feelings and other internal psychological states.

An important role in this issue is played by deeply rooted personality traits, thanks to which the habit of being late is very difficult to break. However, it turns out that with the right approach, chronic lateness can change their behavior.

What type of latecomers are you?

The first step to being on time is self-awareness. Sit down and analyze your past and your personality traits. Are you late anytime, anywhere, or only on certain occasions? How do you feel when you're late? What makes you late?

Are you always late for a certain time, or is it constantly changing? A fixed time delay indicates some kind of psychological impediment. Perhaps you are afraid of downtime or you want to accommodate as many things as possible on your day (even if this is physically impossible). If you are late somewhere by 10 minutes or half an hour, the problem is mechanical. In this case, you need to work on your time management skills (time management).

Conventionally, there are 7 types of latecomers. Most people fall into three main categories:

Deadliner I like the rush at the very last moment. He excels in urgent matters, optimizes in stressful situations. It is sometimes difficult to motivate a deadliner to work if there is no real crisis. By jumping from one to the other, the deadline gets rid of boredom.

Manufacturer you need to do as much as possible in as little time as possible. Such a subject feels great joy for himself, marking the completed tasks on a huge list of tasks. Manufacturers tend to use "magic thinking" - they grossly underestimate the amount of time it takes them to complete their tasks. They hate wasting time, so they make a detailed plan of the day so that every minute is scheduled.

Absent-minded professor constantly distracted. As scientists suggest, distraction has a genetic basis and can range from full-blown attention deficit to innocent oddities. An absent-minded professor often loses the passage of time, forgets keys and appointments at home.

Usually, people show signs of other types of latecomers. For example, the Innovator never fully admits to being late (many of us are at least half rationalizers). A pet is someone who usually lacks self-control. Freeloader - who justifies his anxiety and low self-esteem by being late. And, finally, Rebel b is late because he wants to demonstrate his strength to everyone (Rebels are usually men).

What makes you late?

Take a close look at yourself and try to figure out what's really stopping you from being late. Producers often schedule more assignments, tasks, and appointments than they can do in a day (unless of course they have a Star Wars teleporter or a time machine). They have what is known as hyperactivity disorder, when they overestimate their ability to multitask. This happens "automatically". It seems to you that you need to do everything before you leave the house, and then suddenly new things appear.

Many people simply feel reluctant to leave the house and suddenly feel that they need to align the blinds, check their e-mail, mend their socks, iron the cat … While they should have been outside the door for a long time.

You can deal with this by developing the following mantra: when you catch yourself doing something wrong, pinch yourself or clap your hands, saying, "This can wait." … The excuse "Just five minutes!" does not relieve you of responsibility and does not issue you an interest-free loan for a time. Stop. Throw the idea "now, I'll just do this …" from your head. And go where you went.

How to deal with lateness?

Transforming yourself from a chronic lateness to a perfectly punctual person is not only difficult, it is a VERY difficult task. It is important that the deadline is not negotiable, something like a promise to yourself. Start with something easily achievable, for example: do not set the alarm clock to tomorrow morning later - not once (!) - and no "well, another 5 minutes" in bed. If you are unable to complete even such a simple task, you are not ready to fight your ailment of constant delays. But before you jump off, do an experiment. Arrive somewhere on time. At least once. Only to understand how you feel while doing this. Remember your feelings. Are you feeling relieved or anxious? Pride or hellish boredom?

Step 1: Learn to re-calculate the time

You should keep a to-do list every day for two weeks. First, make a detailed list of tasks and estimate how much time you think it takes to complete each of them. For example, how long does it take you to wash, get dressed, have breakfast, get to work, go to the store, wash the dishes. Then, completing some task from the list, you should note how much time you actually spent on it and indicate it next to your personal grade.

Many have some temporary stereotypes that are embedded deep in the brain, but which are not realistic. If once, about five years ago, you somehow miraculously managed to get to work in 15 minutes, this does not mean at all that it takes you 15 minutes to get to your workplace.

2nd step: Never plan to be minute by minute

Latecomers always strive to arrive at the very last minute, regardless of unforeseen circumstances. For example, you need to be at work by 9:00. You assume that it will take you exactly 30 minutes, so leave the house at 8:30. If you, for example, get stuck in a traffic jam or forget your umbrella at home, you will no longer be able to arrive at work on time. Don't risk it! Get in the habit of planning to be everywhere 15 minutes early.

3rd step: Accept the expectation

If the thought of arriving somewhere before the scheduled time scares you, think about what you can do at that time. Take a magazine or reading room with you, call an old acquaintance with whom you haven't spoken for a long time, or make a list of plans for the next week. Think about what you can do that is interesting and useful at this moment, and you will be motivated to arrive early and do it.

And finally, if you have a friend or family member who is constantly late, remember: taking this fortress will not work with cunning. For example, say that you have to be there by 9:00, although in fact everything starts at 10:00. Ultimately, the late person will get you through. Scolding is also useless.

It is best to sit down and talk (preferably before you run out of patience) and set the rules for the game. Agree: every time a person is 15 minutes or more late for a meeting with you, he pays for your dessert. If that doesn't help, then it will at least make your life sweeter:)