5 common beliefs that ruin our lives

1. I know exactly what I'm doing

At first glance, such a belief seems useful. It seems that self-confidence motivates and helps to achieve better results. But things can turn out quite differently. Just think of all those people who act like complete idiots, but at the same time are convinced that they know what they are doing.

If we believe too much in what we are doing, then we begin to justify our bad actions, we hardly accept constructive criticism, and we ignore good suggestions. In other words, there is a very fine line between “I know what I'm doing” and complete selfishness.

Accept that you don’t always know what to do and that it’s okay. Remember: it is the understanding that you do not know something that helps you learn new and adapt to changes. And for this to be possible, one must not be afraid to make mistakes.

2. This is unfair

Remember how in childhood, when your parents refused to buy you something, you exclaimed “So dishonest!”, And they answered that life is generally dishonest? It always pissed me off too. However, now you have probably seen for yourself - this is so.

What if the problem is not the injustice of life, but our definition of justice? We recognize that the life of every person is equal, and from this for some reason we move on to the idea that we should all be equally gifted with fate. But this is nonsense.

Of course, it's “unfair” that I'm not as handsome as Brad Pitt, or that I have a rare genetic disorder that could drive me to my grave by age 60. But I will still do something, and not sit still. Hell, because of this, I will try even harder!

There are things in life that we can control and those that we cannot. It is better to spend time and energy on what is in our power, and let the rest go through the forest.

And in general, how do you know that in 10 years what seems terrible today will not turn into the greatest gift of fate? Or that your current hobby won't take you to the bottom? Leave the word "fairness" for court hearings. In ordinary life, it creates more problems than it solves.

3. Bigger is better

We all seem to understand that materialism and constant consumption are bad, but still, one way or another, we constantly want more. Having abandoned one type of consumerism, we will certainly find another to replace it.

For example, many millennials do not dream of an apartment and a car, as their parents dreamed, but they want to consume as many impressions as possible: travel more, try new things more, have more friends, more fun, more opportunities.

But paradoxically, when we have more choices, we feel more unhappy, not happier. In pursuit of fresh impressions, we become lost, not whole. As the Roman philosopher Seneca said, poor is not the one who has little, but the one who yearns for more.

Don't misunderstand, new experiences and new acquaintances are important, they can teach you a lot. It's just that at a certain moment, the pursuit of them begins to do more harm than good.

Strive for simplification, not accumulation. Give up unnecessary things and try to break the cycle of constant consumption. Find some important activities and people for yourself and devote your energies to them.

4. I'll be happy as soon as I get X

Goals are great. I'm a big fan myself. We need them so as not to waste our lives. But sometimes the targets become dangerous. For example, when we identify too strongly with them, forgetting that they should only help us achieve results, and not become a value in and of themselves.

Let's say you decide to lose 10 kg because you feel like it will make you happier. If you emotionally invested in this goal so much that all your self-esteem is built on it, you will face a variety of risks:

To get what you want, you may be willing to commit questionable acts or risk your health.
You have not achieved your goal - you are covered with despair and hopelessness. It seems to you that you are worthless.
You have achieved your goal, but somehow you feel empty. For a couple of seconds you felt ecstasy from what you did, but it was immediately replaced by the thought "So what now?"

To avoid this kind of situation, use goals as guidelines. Even if you dropped 5 kg and not 10, you are still moving in the right direction. And this is the main thing.

5. It doesn’t help me become better, so I don’t need it

Be careful with self-development, it can turn into addiction. Trying to deal with some real problem in themselves, many "get hooked" on the feeling of their own progress. And they start spending a lot of time optimizing every step, trying more and more new methods of productivity and improving themselves in every possible way.

This obsession with self-development is dangerous:

You become so fixated on yourself that it becomes difficult for you to understand those who are not directly related to your aspirations.
You stop enjoying life, including your accomplishments.
You fall into the trap of your goals, considering all unrelated activities a waste of time.

Don't forget that the most precious moments in your life are not found on your calendar and to-do list. We experience them when we do something spontaneously or allow ourselves to relax. Playing a game, laughing with a friend, talking to a child, reading a book, getting some sleep - sometimes it's worth doing something just for the sake of the process itself.