What you need to understand before having children

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Raising a child is full of surprises. It doesn't matter how many books or children's forums you read, how many educational videos you watched, nothing will prepare you 100% for the appearance of a child in the family. But there are 10 fundamental things you need to know best before you become a new parent.

1. Having a baby is easy - only at first glance

Some breed like rabbits. Others do not succeed. Many people naively believe that you just want to have a baby, stop using contraception and bam! This will happen. In fact, it is not a faaact. After all, our body is not simple. If you are thinking about adding to the family and want to plan a pregnancy for a certain period of time, give yourself enough time and try not to worry throughout the entire period.

2. The first months are a real torture

Perhaps the cries of babies are so annoying, their sleep is so light, and breastfeeding is so painful - just to strengthen the spirit of the parents. Because if you survive the first months of this crazy kids' camp without losing your mind, you are the heroes - you can handle anything.

This time is a living hell for those who love sleep, shower and comfort. It is useless to explain how hard it is. It is impossible to describe what it is like to wake up for several months at night every two hours. Or trying to calm down an inconsolable screaming child. Or feel yourself in a body 3 sizes larger than usual (by the way, future dads get fat along with future mothers). Or feel uncomfortable for months or maybe even years.

All this chaos has its advantages. In particular, no matter how bad it is, you will overcome all difficulties. Just don't be afraid to ask for help, especially if you suffer from postpartum depression.

The first months after the birth of a child is not only suffering and chaos. They are also amazing moments full of bliss and tenderness. After a while, you may even begin to feel sad about this pleasant period of your life and (oh, crazy people!:) want to experience this torture again.

3. Forget about sleep. You will miss him

Whether it's a baby in your arms or a growing toddler, you'll have trouble sleeping. Either nightmares, then the child sleeps between you. And how difficult it is to raise children in time to get to school … Well, and the like.

Watch your habits! If you are not ready to tolerate them all the way to university, do not vaccinate them - for example, letting a child into your bed in the middle of the night.

4. Children's utensils and things: you don't need a lot of them

Baby strollers, car seats, playpens, swings, air mattresses, play mats, teething rings, bibs … it seems like kids need tons of gear. Dear life hackers, let me save your money! You don't need half of these things.

For some reason, many new parents believe that their child will certainly become bored, or that he needs constant stimulation of the brain. In reality, the infant sleeps most of the time; when he wakes up, screams to be fed, then falls asleep again after feeding. You don't need a lot of extra ways to keep it busy. For a small child, everything around is of interest.

As a rule, children tend to stop being interested in toys before you even have time to buy them. Isn't it easier to buy wooden cubes or make do-it-yourself trinkets from improvised means?

Likewise, there is no reason to buy so many baby clothes, at least new ones. On the one hand, relatives and friends love to give adorable outfits (who can resist buying tiny booties or caps ?!). On the other hand, children grow by leaps and bounds. Some things they do not have time to really vilify before they become small for them. Try to get the wardrobe items that wear out the fastest at sales or second-hand stores. The more your kids get dirty, the more often you will have to buy new things. But until there is a need to purchase new clothes, bypass the departments of children's utensils.

5. Children = a lot of unexpected expenses

Diapers are what you will constantly need in the first years of your baby's life. Mountains of diapers. This, of course, is not a secret to anyone. But chances are, you grossly underestimate how many of them you end up having to buy. So coupons, discounts, promotions on diapers will no longer seem so ridiculous and will be very useful to you.

Other unplanned expenses can come out of nowhere. For example, music lessons, babysitting services, out-of-town trips with a class, even medical expenses can be taken by surprise. But perhaps the biggest money sucker is kindergarten. He, of course, allows you to work at his job, but his content is sometimes so great, even get a second job!

Bottom line: Spend less money on clothes that wear out quickly anyway, and keep in mind unexpected (or unexpectedly high) child costs that can cost you a pretty penny.

6. You can work with your child from home (at certain times)

There are two periods when working from home with children is more or less comfortable. Before they began to walk (when the child learns to occupy himself, mainly due to fine motor skills of his hands), and also when they are already old enough and understand that while working from home you may not be available. If it's easy for your child to entertain himself, then working from home is easy. But there is a little guilt that you cannot pay attention to it all the time.

It is difficult to tell your child “No. I'm busy). several times a day. Therefore, even if you are fortunate enough to work from home, you need to plan for childcare until they grow up and no longer demand your full attention.

7. Do not panic when your child does not reach the generally accepted milestones

The books say that all children should start walking by the age of one year, and if this does not happen, you need to see a doctor. In practice, some babies take their first steps only at the age of 16-17 months. And that's okay. If your child is one year old and he still can't walk, you naturally worry. Some babies wear diapers longer than others. Rough advice from strangers that it’s time for the child to go to the pot on their own will drive you into panic even more.

Remember: each child develops according to his own internal schedule. It is quite possible that your baby will not start walking in any way because he uses energy for something else - learning to speak, for example. Do not rush your child, forcing him to talk, walk, run, read. Children are growing so fast. It is impossible to teach a child everything in one day. Better to wait until he or she is ready for this.

8. You won't regret taking too many baby photos or videos

In the early years, you will most likely take photos and videos with your baby all the time. Unfortunately, as children grow up, we begin to capture less of the pleasant moments of their lives. You will never regret taking too many photos or videos of your growing child. Moreover, it will always seem to you that you have missed something.

9. Getting out of the house somewhere is a whole adventure every time

When you become a parent, there are time shifts. What used to last 5 minutes (for example, how much you needed to reach the nearest store) will now take much longer. There are additional minutes to get ready, transport, pack drinks, food and diapers, install a child seat in the car and do many other things.

Eating out will be a completely new experience for you. Food falling to the floor, crayons rolling off the table, unfriendly visitors and waiters looking in your direction … him.

10. You will never be the same

Parenting will change you. This is predictable. But you can't even imagine how much it will change you and your idea of the world around you. Overnight, you will not turn into the same as your parents, mom and dad. But your values, visions, and habits are reorganizing according to one being - your child.

► Your habits will change for the better. You will begin to think more about the usefulness and nutritional value of the food you eat, drive more carefully, spend money more wisely, behave more ethically, and think more often about your life expectancy (and how to increase it).

► Your relationship with your partner will change. Until that happens, you won't know for better or for worse. But parenting makes a difference in both, even in the way you look at your partner.

► You may have to say goodbye to your usual entertainment. Now you will hardly be able to watch TV or a series, play games, spend half a day on the Internet.

► Henceforth, there will be no free time left to himself.

► You will have to become more fun and creative. Tasks will appear on your to-do list such as making a bunny costume, drawing a horse, making something new out of oatmeal or peas.

► You will experience the strongest feelings of affection and love that you could not even imagine before.

None of these facts, as awful as they sound, will worry you in the long run. You will learn about yourself as a parent, a lot of new things that can make you stronger, but at the same time, more vulnerable.

Making the decision to have a baby is extremely important. This is the same as letting your heart out of your own body. I think many parents would agree that this is the case. But it's worth it! Think about this before you have children, though.