5 proven ways to make people love you

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

There are people who are sympathetic at first sight. They easily make new acquaintances, they manage to establish a trusting relationship with any person. Everyone around them is loved and appreciated. But how do they do it and can they learn it? Science knows the answer!

1. Encourage the other person to talk about themselves

If you are communicating with someone for the first time and want to leave a positive impression about yourself, then you should not dump on the interlocutor's head as much information about yourself as possible. Dr. Diana Tamir and Dr. Jason Mitchell, both scientists at Harvard, discovered in 2012 that a person who listens more than speaks makes a much better impression. This effect is greatly enhanced if you allow your counterpart to talk about your beloved. At the same time, scientists note, the same pleasure centers are activated in the human brain as when eating or having sex.

2. Ask for advice

Ask the people whose favor you want to win for any advice. All people love to give advice and morality, as this emphasizes their status and value. At the same time, it is important not to lose a sense of proportion and not to cross the invisible line, since in case of excessive intrusiveness, you will get the exact opposite result. Dr. Adam Grant in his book calls this method one of the best for building a trusting relationship with the person you need. Plus, you get the added bonus of useful information and (bingo!) Sometimes really valuable advice.

3. Drive the conversation in a positive direction

It should be remembered that in any communication the law of amplification and absorption of emotions operates. This law states that equally charged emotions intensify, while opposing emotions absorb each other. This rule formed the basis of the technique developed by the Nobel laureate psychologist Daniel Kahneman. He suggests starting the conversation with a positive message or question, and only then move on to the heart of the matter. It looks primitive, but a positive attitude in the first minutes will help your interlocutor to more easily perceive your request or even negative information.

4. Repeat the last phrase

People want to be heard. Let them know by simply repeating the last few words of the sentence periodically with the appropriate intonation for the occasion.

- You know, this new tablet does not work at all the way it was shown in the advertisement!

- Did you show it in advertisements?

- Yes, there he is still on the table and shows a movie for four hours in a row.

- Nuuuu, four hours …

Such a conversation can be carried on for hours with little or no effort. At the same time, your friend will be fully confident that you are keenly interested in his story and that you are the best interlocutor in his life. Leil Lowndes, a communications expert, writes in her own that this trick can make you a genius listener in just a few seconds.

5. Don't dwell on the negative

The human psyche is arranged in such a way that we are drawn to discuss other people's misconduct, disasters or emergencies. It should be remembered, however, that the information you reproduce will subconsciously influence how people feel about you. Gradually, you will become associated with those phenomena and events about which you most often talk. According to Dr. Richard Wiseman, each person has a kind of "emotional memory" in which the image of other people is captured. If you manage to leave a positive imprint on it, then any of your actions will evoke approval and sympathy.

Do you know how to rub people into trust? Can you share your secrets? We guarantee anonymity!