5 telltale signs of narcissistic parents

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Narcissistic parents are people who always put their own interests ahead of the desires of the child. Check to see if you have these five common traits.

What is meant by “narcissistic parents”? These are people who raise their children to fulfill the role prescribed for them by their parents.

Narcissistic parents try to control their child in everything from clothes to social circle. Such people have drawn in their heads an ideal picture of what their child should be, and with all their might they strive to ensure that he meets the fictional ideal.

Couples who behave in this way often do not achieve much success in life and, at the expense of their children, try to compensate for their own shortcomings, resentments and failures. In this situation, their children play the role of puppets and, according to the parents' plan, should act and behave as their elders want.

Below you will find five telltale signs of narcissistic parents. Observe if this behavior is typical for you or people with whom you often communicate.

1. Decide what clothes and hairstyle to wear for the child

Of course, when a child is too young, parents choose clothes for him. But after reaching school age, most children already have their own ideas about how they want to look.

Narcissistic parents are distinguished by the fact that they are absolutely not interested in which pants and T-shirts the child likes (they do not even ask his opinion). It is important for them that they like the clothes themselves. Wardrobe items are selected based on the image of the ideal child.

Such parents are more concerned not with the interests and preferences of their child, but with what message to others his appearance carries.

I believe that the child should dress and look the way he is comfortable. It is clear that one should not be allowed to go to extremes (for example, to dye their hair until a certain age), and nevertheless, children should have the right to choose.

2. Appreciate school grades, not the child

Situations often arise when parents take their child's assessments too seriously. From the very beginning, it may seem that these people care about the well-being of their child, but in fact, many of them do not even find time to work with the child and help in their studies, which would have already helped to get higher grades.

Narcissistic parents want their child to bring good grades, but they do not want to invest time in the education of their children. The latter, in turn, usually feel left on their own.

3. Strive to choose the child's social circle

Narcissistic parents are very often careerists and believe that the success of their environment reflects on them. Therefore, they even choose the friends of their children solely on the basis of the degree of influence of their parents.

For example, they prefer their child to hang out with the son of a high-ranking official, even if he has a bad temper, than with the friendly and welcoming daughter of a local shoe cutter.

4. Require complete obedience

It is vital for such people that their children follow all their instructions. If a child opposes the authority of the parent or disagrees with his decision, this jeopardizes the entire plan for raising the ideal child.

Normal parents do not need the unconditional submission of their own child, because they do not yet have a final picture of who he should become. They perceive their child as a person and give him the right to show individuality.

5. Have a list of professions allowed for their child

The task of smart parents is not to impose a profession on a child based on their own views of the world, but to help him determine his strengths, skills, interests and qualities.

Narcissistic parents want their child to become a lawyer, a doctor, or a representative of some other, but always monetary, profession. There is nothing wrong with this striving, but are you sure that people in these professions are really happy in life?

In fact, there are many people in the world who have received a diploma and have never worked in their specialty. These degrees are the wishes of their parents, not a reflection of their own interests.

Literate parents must acknowledge the fact that their child will choose a profession to which he has a soul and a predisposition, even if this profession does not seem so promising.