Building Good Habits: 3 Easy Steps

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Bad habits appear on their own, but good ones take effort. Oddly enough, there are only three steps separating us from successfully forming good habits.

Imagine a very productive person whose life is full of good habits. On Wednesdays after lunch (if there is no emergency at work), he plays tennis or swims. He always comes to the office by 8:30, politely thanks people for any help, and always makes a plan before starting to write the text. He re-reads messages before sending, checking them for stupid errors, always archives important documents upon receipt and after finishing work on them. And there are days in his schedule when he goes through all of his files.

Many believe that they are born that way, not become. It never even occurs to anyone to learn from productive people - we just admire them!

But the acquisition of habits is actually natural for any person. It's just that under the influence of socio-cultural factors, the formation of habits has become something mediocre and uninteresting. Sometimes the word "habit" even takes on an unpleasant connotation, meaning something very boring. It instantly draws in front of us a man in slippers, sitting by the fire and puffing his pipe, always reading the same newspapers and at the same time turning on the news on TV.

We are only three steps away from success in forming habits.

First: have a better opinion of habits

Don't see habit as a closing prison door or a triumph of mediocrity over individuality. Some habits are insignificant, it's true. But the very fact that things that are unfamiliar to you become ordinary, and therefore simple and easy, cannot be bad. Ideally, habits are effective if they are beneficial to you on their own.

Second: schedule a time

The English romantic poet William Wordsworth wrote frequently about the beauty of the moon.

See the moon in the sky

Floats - a happy lot

And she often hides

From the gloomy gazes of mortals, But the clouds will scatter -

And again the face shines!

Translation by V. A. Melnik

He firmly believed that other people would be imbued with his impressions and next time, walking on the street in the evening, they would raise their eyes and, possibly, look at the moon. However, Wordsworth couldn’t make us look at the moon all the time, because he didn’t aim to form our habit of doing it. Our interest in the beauty of the night star is a mere coincidence and a fleeting impulse.

In contrast, the Japanese ritual of gazing at the moon, called tsukimi, is performed on specific dates: the 15th day of the eighth month and the 13th day of the ninth month in the solar calendar. You do not need to wait for the right mood or the occasion when a book with poems about the moon comes across. The calendar will take care of all this, and you will somehow look up at the night sky to admire the moon.

This approach seems less romantic, but it is more in line with the needs of human nature. People usually need prompts and reminders to get things done.

If random events happen regularly enough, they will become a habit. After six weeks or so, there is no need to look at the calendar, and each time you have to go back and forth with less effort. Our behavior becomes more natural and automatic.

Third: take responsibility

Ultimately, habits become second nature: we easily repeat certain actions and do not think about it at all. However, achieving this level of automatism takes effort. You need to overcome internal resistance: force yourself to get up early or work without being distracted by the Internet. At such times, it is tempting to give yourself some indulgence.

The role of constant control and responsibility in the formation of habits has long been used in the army. At first, you are reluctant to iron your trousers and hope that you can get away with unpolished boots, but there is always someone who will check it. However, tests do not last forever, as most people learn a lesson and change their behavior. Years after the service, they continue to wear trousers with perfect arrows and sparkling clean shoes.

Simple responsibility to someone else gives us the necessary motivation to stick to our plans in those moments when we are ready to give up. This means we have a better chance of developing a habit after all.

The process of forming habits looks a little odd, but that's okay. This is evidence that we are leaving in the past erroneous, but very common ideas about how to put our affairs in order. In a world where unproductiveness is considered the norm, to become a productive person, you need to use even methods that seem strange at first glance.