Personal experience: how I found my recipe for harmony after 45

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

The food diary, the ability to listen to oneself and favorite active activities helped in this.

Literally the other day, I will be celebrating my fiftieth anniversary and I consider one of my coolest achievements to be overweight. Based on personal experience, I came to the conclusion that the inevitability of excess volumes after 45 is just a myth.

How I fought overweight for 25 years

I grew up in Yakutia and on a high-calorie northern diet by the age of 16 turned into a rather well-fed girl weighing 69 kg with a height of 164 cm. I did not like the reflection in the mirror at all and caused a lot of complexes.

After moving to Crimea for six months, 5 kg left without much effort: moving to a more comfortable climate and changing the diet to vegetables and fruits did their job. Two years later, a son was born, the load increased and I lost another five kilos. I felt great! This 59 kg turned out to be my ideal weight, comfortable both physically and emotionally.

After graduation, there was a divorce and a return to the North. Severe stress, as a result - prolonged depression and again plus 5 kg. Diets and exercise in the gym did not help. The second marriage, the birth of a daughter - and I returned to where I started. Then I came across a book by Paul Bragg "The Miracle of Fasting", and soon managed to regain ideal weight with the help of a 7-day fast. And I was 27 years old.

Then a new divorce and a move to Siberia with two small children. Again stress and "spare" five kilos. For some time, I struggled with diets and starvation, but I soon realized that the effect of such techniques was short-lived and after the forced weight loss, the body was gaining even more than it was before. And then I generally gave up, deciding that, probably, such is my genetics.

I was not fat, and with five "spare" kilograms it was quite possible to live without tormenting myself with diets and gyms. But when, after 8 years, I had a similar turn with the move to the countryside and stress, I again returned to the extra 10 kg.

What was happening to me was very much like walking in a circle.

I spent the next three years on vegetarianism and proper nutrition from the garden - in my home and in the fresh air. But the weight didn't go away, and even fasting didn't help anymore. Approaching the age of 40, I began to think that, probably, this is already age-related and there is nothing to be done.

After analyzing my agony walk for almost 25 years, I came to the conclusion that the reason is not only the diet. The facts clearly indicated that a set of kilograms is always in a stressful situation. And this idea was confirmed after returning to a comfortable place of residence: the weight again returned to normal.

Then I began to be interested in the question of how to make it normalize forever.

How the reasons for excess weight were found in the head

If there is a question, the answer comes. Suddenly, an institute friend threw a book by Lissy Moussa "Let's make a figurine out of a carcass," in which I came across an amusing thought: "All the reasons for excess weight are in the head." It was about the fact that we are forced to overeat some harmful beliefs and fears absorbed in childhood and not realized in the adult state. And if they are found and eliminated, they will no longer control our desire to eat too much. This thought fascinated me so much that I wanted to test it.

I realized that I was strongly influenced by the fear of a "rainy day" inherited from my mother: after her hungry childhood, she was always afraid that we would have nothing to eat.

Therefore, at home it was not customary to throw away food, it was necessary to finish everything to the end, otherwise they would not take us to the "Society of Clean Plates" (if anyone remembers such a story from the Soviet book "Lenin and the Children"). It turns out, having absorbed all this in childhood and unconsciously reproducing this model of behavior, I was unable to stop and move the plate when I no longer want to. Necessarily it was necessary to eat to capacity, and it instilled calmness.

My body has always kept an emergency supply for a rainy day in the form of 5 kg. But as soon as I found myself in the most comfortable conditions, he, so be it, agreed to part with them.

What helped to find and eliminate the cause of overeating

After I realized that there is no “rainy day” for the sake of which it is worth storing fat in the modern world, and I ceased to be afraid of what cannot be, “spare” kilograms were no longer needed. This happened at the age of 42, and for the last 8 years I have been in my ideal weight - 59 kg. I feel very comfortable in it.

To deal with overeating once and for all, I had to dig deep into my own beliefs, find a harmful program that makes me keep excess weight with me, and get rid of it. This is not as difficult as it might seem.

1. Keeping a food and mood diary

You need to start a notebook, always carry it with you and every time before you eat, write down the answer to the question: "What exactly did I want to eat and why?" I assure you, you will learn a lot of interesting things about yourself.

For example, I wrote down this: "I was upset, I ate candy to raise my spirits." Or: "I was very worried, I ate a double portion for lunch." And in a good way, there should be only one reason: "I'm hungry." In addition, I recorded the amount of food eaten.

By about the end of the first week, an increased appetite becomes evident and the main reason that causes the desire to eat is revealed. Each has its own.

You can eliminate the harmful program yourself, as I did, or seek help from a psychologist.

2. Taking care of yourself

I believe that a person in a normal state should not think about food at all. Hunger appeared - ate, no hunger - there is no reason to dream of a cake or fried chicken. If such thoughts appear, then I ask myself the question: “Who is inside me asking for a cake? Who's the chicken? As a rule, this is some kind of unprocessed emotion. Either stress or frustration. And then there are two ways out. You can imagine this emotion in the form of a capricious child, scold him, put him in a corner and forbid the cake. Or you can hug your inner child and make up for his lack of love. And that will definitely work better than a ban.

In no case should you scold yourself.

At the very least, this is a pointless waste of energy. And if you look more broadly, then this cake plays the role of a magic pill: it is better to eat it and be satisfied than to forbid yourself and remain angry. A person receives more damage from a negative emotion than from a piece of not the most useful food. Anyway, self-love always works better than anger and violence against oneself. The main thing is to be aware of what you are doing and why.

3. Weight control

My morning starts with weighing in at the same time. And best of all without clothes - it makes it easier to track possible fluctuations.

We are not robots, so that we always eat the same thing according to a compiled program. Sometimes we need to pamper ourselves. Sometimes we want something tasty or “something like that”, because vitamin deficiency, lack of sun, love - and this list can be very long. So fluctuations in the range of 1-3 kg, especially seasonal, I consider normal. But as soon as I notice a steady trend towards weight gain, I immediately take action.

4. Fasting days

For me, almost every Monday is a fasting day. This means that I either eat only liquids, or add fruit, or make myself some kind of light snacks like fruit smoothies.

Usually my body calmly tolerates fasting days, because it knows that this is not for long and I will not torment it with diets and hunger strikes.

It happens that I feel discomfort on this day: for example, I need to perform some task that requires more energy than fruit drinks and juices give. Either it is cold and food is needed for heating. And sometimes I just feel uncomfortable that thoughts about food interfere with my work. Then I add a light snack such as dried fruits and nuts.

I repeat: I believe that when food occupies thoughts, this is an abnormal state of a person. This means that the body is bad, today it does not need a fasting day and it gives signals so that you stop tormenting it.

5. Physical activity

Find your favorite activities and get active. For me it is dancing, skiing, skating, swimming and cycling, walking in the woods. And I just walk a lot. In addition to the payload on the body, all of these activities should be enjoyable. If they do not bring it, you need to urgently replace it, otherwise the body will avenge the suffering. There will be a brutal rollback that you do not need at all.

If you do not hear the needs of your body, then you, of course, can force it to do what it does not want. But then he will make you lie on the couch in the same way and eat kilograms of sweets, compensating for the stress into which you drove him. And there is nothing you can do with yourself. In general, it's better to be friends with your body than to fight. Better yet, love and hear him.

6. Ability to feel your food preferences

A very important point is to feel your desires. This is important in life in general, but now we are talking about food. Before you open your mouth and put something in there, you should learn to ask yourself the question: "What exactly do I want to eat and why?" At first, this seems strange to us, accustomed to eat at the same time what our mother has prepared. But over time, you get used to listening to the body and feeding it what it asks for.

You've probably noticed how difficult it is to convince children to eat what they don't like: they spit, purse their lips, hide cutlets under the pillow. My daughter threw salads out of the window until I saw. This is all because children feel their desires very well until they are taught to "have something to give."

And if you ignore your needs, artificially prohibit something or, conversely, force, then you can seriously harm yourself. Everyone knows that after a diet, even more kilograms are usually added than were lost. This is the body's revenge for not hearing it or ignoring it.

7. Own food rules

Once you learn to understand your body signals, it will not be difficult to create your own rules for a slim figure and healthy nutrition. Everyone has their own.

You yourself will know exactly when you are hungry, what exactly you want to eat and how much. You will understand which products are useful for you and which ones are not. And you can easily give up the second, because the need will disappear.

I don’t salt my food and I don’t have sugar at home because I almost never want these supplements. In addition, there are enough of them in finished products. And when I stopped salt and sweetening food, I discovered a whole world of real tastes.

In addition, I do not drink vinegar or alcohol at all. I determined their harmfulness to my body from my own experience. For example, vinegar is present in almost all canned and pickled foods, sauces, and Asian dishes. When I eliminated everything that contains this ingredient from my diet, my teeth stopped bothering me. Now I go to the dentist mainly for a preventive examination.

8. Self-love and fulfillment of your desires

I want to finish with the most important. To come to all of the above, you need to love yourself so much that it becomes a natural decision for you not to harm your body. You're not harming the person you love, are you? And if this person is yourself?

I was convinced from my own experience: the idea that being overweight after 45 is inevitable is a myth. The most important thing is the desire to stay slim and beautiful. And love yourself. And when you love someone, it is a great pleasure to fulfill their wishes.