Lessons I learned after being ill with many things

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Alexander Amzin, development director of MED-MEDIA and the author of several books, knows firsthand what chronic diseases are. How health problems affected Alexander's life and what lessons were taught, he told in his article on Medportal.ru. We publish it with the permission of the author.

ICD-10 () divides all ailments, abnormal conditions, anomalies of our body into two dozen classes. I prefer a simpler division of all diseases into three types.

First, lethal. There is nothing you can do about it. If you get sick with this, you will die, and it is useless to resist.

Secondly, transitory. On December 31, 2015, I collapsed with something that I will later call nedoangina. Sore throat, cough, high fever, inability to read, watch, play, let alone work. And at the same time, full confidence that this will pass. Indeed, a long sleep, rinses, powders - and already on January 7 I am on social networks, and on January 8 I restart the media project "".

Transient diseases do not leave a memory of themselves, and if they do, then a small one. We can predict how long we will fail. We know how to deal with this. So there is nothing to talk about. "This will pass too."

Thirdly, chronic diseases, and we'll talk about them. These are conditions of body and spirit that cannot be cured. You have to live with them. I classify as chronic any incurable (or difficult to cure) conditions - an amputated leg, diabetes mellitus, HIV status. You can live with any such condition, undesirable effects can even be weakened to a certain extent: with a prosthesis in the case of a leg, diet and insulin injections for diabetes, proper therapy for HIV. But science in the next 10 years will not help grow a leg, will not cure 9% of the world's population from diabetes, will not expel HIV.

I know firsthand about diabetes mellitus - about 5 years ago it turned out that my life had changed forever. Certainly a shock. But it cannot be said that I was not ready for the tests - I have been taking all kinds of drops, powders and pills from another neurological disease since childhood. The very idea of correcting malfunctions of the body with the help of conscious procedures was not alien to me.

The third state with which I began to live only recently is depressive disorder. However, doctors are not yet sure of their diagnosis. We continue to select therapy, and at the same time we figure out what it is.

The story I want to tell is not about how to beat depression, cure diabetes, or fix your brain. The correct answer is no way. Billions of people live with chronic diseases. You must be prepared for such a state to appear in your life and you cannot get rid of it.

The heroism of the few victors is the stories of victory over diseases that seemed fatal or chronic. To convince that everyone can (here is a description of any method - including the most charlatan ones) recover - is useless and despicable. In the battle "Russian urine against the doctor's scalpel" in the case of chronic incurable diseases, diseases prevail.

I am not a doctor and therefore I am not going to give advice directly related to your diseases or feelings. But I am a patient who is accompanied all the way by chronic incurable diseases. During these almost 35 years, I have learned many lessons that, God knows, could be bought from life at a cheaper price. I decided to make a short list for those who know their diagnosis today or will face it tomorrow. In the moment of weakness that will surely come after such news, nothing supports better than knowing that other people have already learned to cope with it.

Lesson 1. Your well-being - for a reason

There is no feeling of being unwell without a reason. A normal, healthy person is cheerful. He may be tired, he may be irritated, but he may not feel, for example, the urge to urinate every 15 minutes, or, on the contrary, uncontrolled thirst. He can't just get a headache. He does not break down on acquaintances over trifles. He does not have unreasonable depression or bad mood. He does not sink, exhausted, on the sofa after a working day. He misses the candy every time he walks by (and doesn't get upset if the candy runs out). He falls asleep quickly and wakes up easily.

Any deviations from the norm are signals from the body. If the signals are repeated, something is wrong with you. Self-diagnosis does not work well - you perceive your body uncritically. Like the ancient Greeks, you consider yourself to be the measure of things, and therefore you think that “not working” is a common state, even though half of your colleagues do not work either. The truth is, half of my colleagues are also unwell.

Think about how you felt five years ago. Was it better or worse? What has changed in your perception? If you can't get to the bottom of the cause, see your doctor. Urgently. You will be looking for a reason not to go - no money, no time, and so on.

Know: if you are really seriously ill, then you have less and less active energy, and your life expectancy each day is reduced by more than a day. Your job is to make sure that this is not the case.

Lesson 2. Never, never, never diagnose yourself

It happens that people read descriptions of diseases on the Web, draw conclusions, take offense at the doctor's skeptical reaction. The doctor is right in this case.

It is not enough to have information. You need to be able to look at this information from the right point of view. The doctor studied this for a long time, but you do not. By the end of the initial session, the patient-doctor pair usually has the same background information. But without a unique point of view on this information, you in this pair will hardly play the role of a blunt Watson, but not Sherlock Holmes.

In addition to his unique perspective, Holmes has experience in solving cases. He knows that a drug that you think will help you is likely to have side effects. Or he knows that in cases like yours, another drug has worked better. And perhaps he observed a very third case, and in it it turned out that the similarity with this or that disease is false.

It may be that you have several diseases. Serious disorders of the body do not go one by one. Then the head hurts from one, the stomach from the other, and constipation is dictated by a third reason. Only a doctor can understand the cunning reactions of your body. Do not forget to tell him about any pills you are taking, allergies, lack of vaccinations, travel, frequent "transient" illnesses. A good doctor values completeness of information above all else. Be persistent if there is even the slightest suspicion that the matter is not easy. Go to the place where an hour is taken with you at the reception. Lay it all out. Prepare yourself before coming.

You will be prescribed tests, additional tests, and (if you are reading this) will probably be given a diagnosis.

Lesson 3. You can choose how long you live

So, you have a diagnosis, and you and your doctor are more or less confident in it. In the case of chronic incurable diseases, this means that your life has turned aside. Now you will live in a new way. Understand what awaits you. In addition to therapy, inconvenience and a drop in the standard of living, it is worth returning to the words from the first lesson about active energy.

Find out how much you have left. This is easiest to show on scale (unfortunately, not for every disease and not for every country you can find data, below is the study that first came to hand and demonstrates the approach quite well).

Let's say you are 55 years old Briton. At the age of 50, you were diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. You have not quit smoking, your blood pressure is 180, your blood sugar is constantly elevated, as well as your cholesterol level. Statistically British researchers. You are highly likely to be buried (burned) before you turn 69. It's a shame, because the average Briton (male) lives 79 years.

Let's banish another option. Everything is the same, only you do not smoke, your cholesterol level is normal, you monitor sugar, and the pressure is 120, like an astronaut. In this case, you will live 21.1 years and, most likely, you will die at 76-77 years.

In a “good” scenario, the disease stole 2-3 years from you, but it could - 10. Moreover, the theft itself does not occur simultaneously. Every day without therapy costs you more than a day. The average Briton 55 years old expects to live 24 years. If he neglects the advice of a doctor, then every new day simply goes for two.

I have two news for you, both bad.

First, life is short. In Russia, the average life expectancy is 70.5 years. If you are a man, then with a high probability you will live 65 years (according to WHO data for 2013 - 63), if a woman - perhaps you will live up to 77 (according to WHO data for 2013 - 75). The picture shows blue men, red women.

Secondly, chronic diseases often make themselves felt not at 50 or 55, but at 30–35. Imagine that you are a Russian, you are 35 and you are 28-30 years old, not 44 years old as your British peer.

The "day in two" principle halves an already small remainder. As a result, you are the one who is dangerously more likely to leave for a better world soon after your 50th birthday. But therapy is almost guaranteed to push this danger beyond the 60-year limit.

Lesson 4. Bargain with the doctor

American psychologist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, studying the behavior of patients after the announcement of a fatal diagnosis, identified the famous five stages:

1. Negation.
2. Anger.
3. Bargain.
4. Depression.
5. Adoption.

Since then, scientists have found that not every patient goes through all these stages, and the order of the stages can change. But the scheme is so convenient and humane that it stuck.

It is clear that in the case of chronic, rather than fatal diseases, the patient's reaction is different (personally, I prefer to think that it is softer and more productive).

Kubler-Ross categorized the stages for chronic diseases like this:

1. Negation.
2. Anger.
3. Fear.
4. Sadness.
5. Adoption.

In my case, there was no anger stage as such, and acceptance instead of humility in the standard model led to a constructive life plan. In your case, too, everything may not go according to the scheme.

While you are going through one stage after another, it is important to add a bargaining stage and get the best deal with the disease. It is only important to find a good assistant in closing the deal. This is, of course, a doctor.

You will be prescribed therapy shortly after diagnosis. The doctor will tell you to be more careful, recommend a certain lifestyle and medications, and warn about side effects.

Your health news shouldn't stop you from living your life to the fullest. This is where bargaining begins. Its subject is quality of life versus life expectancy.

Imagine a beautiful figurine. A rare toy of museum value. It can be given to children, the toy will quickly bring little happiness and will be mercilessly broken in two weeks. You can ask to treat her with care - and the older child will pass it on to the younger in a few months. Can be put behind glass - for many years. Can be stored in a box and displayed only occasionally. Your health is a fragile toy that has already broken down. Your lifetime depends on how carefully you handle it.

A strategy in which you take everything from life without giving a damn about the advice of specialists is not the most profitable in the modern world, where even some sick men are able to live up to eighty.

Very often, the doctor will be able to offer several treatment options. It is important to choose not the one that everyone uses, but the one that is right for you. It is hard not to cite myself as an example - in order to be able to meet with partners and colleagues, I chose the expensive, but much less constraining therapy for me. In Russia, my method of insulin therapy is used by less than 5% of the population.

Likewise, the next time I consulted about neurological problems again, my doctor and I were looking not just for pills, but for a remedy that would keep the mind flexible. There is no point in extending your life if you cannot be productive.

This selection took several months, different doctors suggested different options, but now it seems that we are close to our goal. Without bargaining, it would be much worse, believe me.

Lesson 5. Don't Trust Alternative Medicine Whole

Any drugs and methods, the effectiveness of which has not been scientifically proven (any!), May not work, or may be just a hoax. There are classes of affirmations in communication that will calm you down, relieve stress, give you hope - faith in God, higher powers, the healing powers of mumiyo and anything else.

Make two lists. In the first, add funds that are guaranteed to work on the body - medicines prescribed for you, lifestyle, etc. In the second - funds that you think will make your condition easier. We are certainly all individual. You can believe that prayer will help the tablet dissolve better. It is possible - that meditation cures cancer. It is possible - that the raw food diet is the best that mankind has invented after the Prano diet.

Now attention. NEVER mix up lists and never let an item on the second list influence the first. If you believe in a pill prayer, first take a pill and pray as much as you like. But if you have been prescribed a certain diet by your doctor for gastritis, you do not need to switch to sunshine without consulting your doctor. It will end badly.

From the moment of diagnosis and appointment of a convenient therapy, there is an unconditional priority of the first list over the second for you. Otherwise, you will die sooner than you wanted.

Here the example of Steve Jobs, who tried to treat operable (!) Cancer with herbs, would be a good example, running himself to extremes. He made the mistake of swapping the lists. Your task is to live longer than Steve Jobs, who lasted 56 years - nothing at all, even by Russian standards. His stupidity has cost all mankind dearly.

Lesson 6. Your health is not yours

Chronic illness often molds fatalists out of people - whatever happens, how much is released, so much is, and it is not your business what I do with myself - my health belongs to me. In most cases, this is a lie.

Chronic diseases are often diagnosed in people over 30. By this age, many patients have a family and children, work, pay off loans, help their parents, that is, they are included in a system with several dependents or dependent agents.

If a chronic illness prevents them from working, everyone in the system suffers. Loans become unbearable, therapy requires funds, savings are reduced, and it is more difficult to provide for children and parents. In a similar crisis situation, a healthy person is looking for a part-time job. In the case of a chronic illness, additional work creates a new load, the ratio “1 day to 1 day” shifts in an undesirable direction.

This is the main problem that you will be solving for the rest of your life. Not a question “why me” (because) or “how to cure it” (in any way), but a question of responsibility for your loved ones. Every day should bring you closer to solving the problem "how to preserve and improve the quality of life of my loved ones."

Here, every experience is individual and there can be no advice. For example, I found that the next chronic disease is much easier to experience in the status of an independent specialist and teacher than an employee who exchanges the time of his life at a strictly limited rate. If long ago, five years ago, I decided differently, now, at the beginning of 2016, my whole therapy could be different (like the country of residence).

Lesson 7. Plan

In the book of illustrator Jana Frank "" I was deeply impressed by the story of how Jana faced a terrible disease that sucked out all the juices and prevented her from drawing for more than ten minutes at a time. She defeated the disease by realizing her capabilities and putting her actions under tight control. If you need a break every ten minutes, you have to know what you will do in 10, 20 and 30 minutes.

Two prerequisites for effective management are accounting and control. Health limits your time and active energy. This means that it is necessary to put time and energy under control, to make it serve oneself.

Consider this not as a limitation, but as an opportunity to put things in order in your life. Games, TV shows, aimless pastime from the moment you read these lines have risen sharply in price. Spending time aimlessly, after all, is possible only in the absence of a goal; it is unlikely that from this day on you will have at least a day without a goal.

This is not an example of so-called positive thinking - sleeping 7–8 hours a day for a chronic patient is the same (and sometimes more important) goal as earning a million. The realization that clear rules have finally appeared in life, the failure to comply with which takes up the allotted time, not only clears the brain, but also frees one from conventions.

The last lesson. Opportunities around you

Any news, any event, chance - good or bad - consider as an opportunity. Turn it upside down, if necessary, disassemble and reassemble.

Denial, anger, fear, sadness are all in the eye of the beholder. In your eye, and you are not to blame for becoming blind for a while. Close your eyes, remember how in childhood it seemed to you that the world consists of untapped paths and when you grow up, you must walk them from end to end all at once and simultaneously.

So that's it. It didn't seem to you.

Alexander Amzin