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2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
Gratitude not only lifts our spirits. She can turn household chores into something she wants to do.
Most couples separate household responsibilities in one way or another. Partners either agree out loud about who is responsible for what, or over time, a tacit understanding of where is whose area of responsibility arises.
Voluntarily separating cases can make life much easier for all family members. But there is a fly in the ointment in this approach: when we start doing some housework over and over again, it quickly becomes our responsibility. And since this is our duty, we are expected to do it as a matter of course that does not require gratitude. But we all want to see that our work is appreciated.
Gratitude and satisfaction with the relationship
Scientists invited several couples to talk about how they divided household chores. The subjects were asked to answer whether they feel grateful to their partner for fulfilling their duties and how satisfied they are with the relationship.
It turned out that the more gratitude the study participants received from their partners for solving everyday issues, the more they enjoyed doing housework. For most subjects, having to do most of the housework meant less relationship satisfaction. However, this negative effect disappeared as soon as people began to see and hear that their work was appreciated.
In another study, it was found that those who feel grateful to their partner would enjoy the relationship more if they could do more around the house than if they were relieved of some of the responsibilities. Maybe it's because more work means more gratitude for them, which improves their mood and boosts their self-esteem.
Of course, there is no guarantee that if you start thanking your life partner for everything he or she does around the house, your partner will rush to do their (and maybe your) household chores with redoubled zeal. But it's definitely worth a try.
On the other hand, expectation not only weakens gratitude, but can cause negativity. Perhaps you yourself do not realize that some business has long become the responsibility of your other half. And so it will be until you hear your own growl under the burnt out light bulb: “Why haven't you changed it yet? You always do this with us!"
How and what to thank
Think about all the responsibilities, big and small, that lie on your shoulders. When was the last time you said thank you to each other for ironed shirts or a nailed shelf? Try not to miss out on even the smallest things: taking out the trash, doing laundry, paying bills. Without these little things, your life would collapse.
Pay attention to the thank you on duty, which are formally pronounced, but do not carry almost any feelings. They can be heard especially often after lunch or dinner. They are so driven to automatism that no sincere gratitude has remained in them for a long time.
Most likely, you are now thinking: “But it is physically impossible to thank for every little thing! Moreover, this is his / her duty. Now imagine how you would feel if someone suddenly said thank you for what you are doing day in and day out.
There is no need to thank every time and for everything. Just remember to do it often and heartily. In fact, thanks for every sneeze can lead to the fact that they begin to expect gratitude from you for any reason. This will devalue your tendency to show attention.
If you really want to impress your partner, thank them, not for what they do, but for who they are.
If you succeed, perhaps he will not only be more willing to do his part of the housework, but he will begin to notice and appreciate what you are doing in return. Your gratitude will return to you a hundredfold.
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