8 signs that all is not lost in a relationship

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

You are ready to admit mistakes, try to understand each other and do without manipulation.

If you and your partner are going through difficult times - you are dissatisfied with each other, often quarrel, you cannot come to a consensus on some important issue - it may seem that the relationship is doomed. However, there are several signs that will help you understand that all is not lost.

1. Both of you are willing to apologize and admit your mistakes

Psychologists believe that toxic and abusive partners never feel guilty or repent if they hurt their couple.

They are more likely to dump all responsibility on another person, they will devalue him or gaslight him - that is, they will convince him that he is wrongly offended and nothing special has happened. And even if they say that they are sorry, in the end they do not change their behavior. Even after a lot of reminders, conversations and scandals.

Conversely, if you are ready to ask for forgiveness and admit that you were wrong, this is a good sign.

2. Both of you are ready to change

That is, you do not just promise in words that you will behave differently, but also demonstrate this by actions: carefully choose expressions, do not criticize your partner, fairly share household responsibilities, and so on. And you do this not because you were pressured, but because you want your loved one to be good.

3. You are looking for ways to understand each other

Nobody directly teaches us competent communication. Initially, the style of interaction with other people we learn in the family and school, and it may not coincide with what our partner expects.

For example, one is used to making fun of loved ones, while to another it seems very offensive. Or, during a conflict, one closes in and is silent, while the other prefers to immediately talk about what happened. This is all perfectly normal.

It is not normal when one of the partners does not want to work on himself, believes that he is a communication guru and always does everything right.

And if both want to become better, learn to interact with each other, adjust their manner of communication - the relationship will develop, and conflicts will be overcome.

4. You try to avoid manipulation

None of you tries to crush the other for yourself, does not press on pity, does not devalue, does not twist the facts, does not press on the patient. At least on purpose. And if this does happen, the culprit is ready to admit that he was not very honest in the discussion. After all, constant manipulation and psychological abuse are signs of emotional abuse.

5. You are ready to discuss difficulties

Do not be silent, do not accumulate resentment and do not expect that he will guess everything himself, but speak directly about what worries you. And you do this not in order to make claims, assert yourself and accuse your couple, but in order to resolve the conflict situation together.

During a conversation, try to behave calmly and respectfully, do not raise your voice, do not be rude.

But if all your conversations consist of passive aggression and attempts to hurt each other, or one of you constantly refuses to discuss problems, this is a wake-up call.

6. You trust each other

Do not arrange scenes of jealousy, do not read correspondence, do not try to limit each other's communication with the rest of the world. You protect your boundaries and do not violate others. You preserve your interests, goals and hobbies, do not dissolve in your partner and do not allow him to give up something important for you. You can rely on each other and you know that none of you will cheat or let you down.

These are all signs of a healthy and respectful relationship. But the opposite situation already smacks of codependency, and this is not very good.

7. Relationship problems don't affect other areas of your life

None of you moves away from friends and loved ones, does not withdraw into yourself, does not begin to get sick or systematically make mistakes at work, does not give up his usual activities and hobbies.

You sleep well, do not experience constant anxiety and depression.

And do not be afraid that any of your wrong moves or looks can lead to a quarrel. After all, such negative changes would mean that you are experiencing severe stress and, possibly, become a victim of psychological abuse.

8. You love each other

You just like to be together: walking, talking, going to the theater, traveling, watching, hugging, TV shows in the evenings, making plans for the future. Even despite occasional disagreements.