2 ways to win your opponent over to your side

1. Find an argument that will resonate with the interlocutor

We often overestimate the weight of arguments that we ourselves believe are compelling. Moreover, both parties usually do not understand that they are using an argument that their interlocutor not only already considered dubious, but to which he could initially be indifferent.

To persuade the interlocutor to your side, try to use his own moral principles against him.

Such advice comes from Robb Willer, professor of sociology and psychology at Stanford University. He studies the theory of moral foundations and believes that people more easily accept opposite political principles if they are paraphrased taking into account the moral principles of the opponent.

For example, in one survey, conservative participants were more likely to support the legalization of same-sex marriage when the argument was presented to them in terms of patriotism rather than fairness and equality. And participants with liberal views were more willing to support an increase in defense spending if they were given reasons that fit their moral standards.

“In political discussions, we usually give reasons that we believe in ourselves and not the opponent, but research confirms that this does not work,” explains Wheeler.

2. Listen to the interlocutor: everyone wants to be heard

The work of Wheeler and his colleagues suggests that it is possible to change someone's mind about politics. What about prejudice? How to effectively convince a person? After all, directly pointing out to the opponent his delusions, you will only arouse his anger.

In 2016, the journal Science published the results of an interesting experiment: it turns out that you can weaken your opponent's prejudices and influence his opinion in 10 minutes of a conversation. Moreover, such a change in views lasts up to three months and even withstands aggressive agitation.

And all because during conversations with the participants in the experiment, the researchers adhered to one simple rule: they listened and let the interlocutor speak.

Instead of bombarding your opponent with facts, ask open-ended questions and listen to what he has to say. Then ask questions again.

The essence of this method is that people respond better to something when they come to conclusions themselves, and not when someone throws a ton of statistics in their face.

Talking about their own experience, your interlocutor, as psychologists say, actively processes information. You just have to push it in the right direction.

However, this technique does not work in all areas. It works best when the argument concerns identity issues.

Nevertheless, the basic rule - listening to the interlocutor - never hurts. Show respect, make the person remember their own similar experiences, and emphasize your similarities. This can be the first step towards solving the problem.