Table of contents:
- 1. You can laugh at yourself and each other
- 2. You find ways to express love every day
- 3. You have common values
- 4. You do not seek to judge each other
- 5. You don't keep records
- 6. You Solve Problems, Not Avoid Them
- 7. Each of you takes responsibility for your mistakes
2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
Laughter, shared values, the ability to express love on a daily basis … Relationship experts have listed the things that distinguish long-term and healthy love relationships from fleeting and hopeless ones.
Usually, romance begins with falling in love, and everything is presented to partners in rainbow colors. But how do you know if a couple can really live happily ever after? The Huffington Post asked psychology and relationship experts to name the characteristics of long-term and lasting alliances. The result is a list of seven items.
1. You can laugh at yourself and each other
This, of course, is not about evil irony or disrespectful ridicule. On the contrary, they can ruin the relationship. The point is not to be too serious and to make fun of your own quirks.
Ryan Howes psychologist
This is when people can make fun of their favorite films, remember with a smile about past bad decisions and from time to time admit their selfishness.
2. You find ways to express love every day
You can show tenderness and care in the simplest little things like a cup of coffee in the morning or pleasant words. The main thing is that they occur regularly, because this is how the emotional background of the couple is formed.
Kurt Smith is a psychotherapist specializing in counseling men
When such gestures become a habit, it is a sign that the relationship can last until the end of life.
3. You have common values
Of course, there are no perfect partners. But in order to build a strong and lasting alliance, your positions on basic things should be as identical as possible.
Karl Pillemer Professor at Cornell University, author of 30 Lessons for Loving
Research shows that the stronger the partners agree on the most important points of life, such as religion, money, attitude towards children, the more chances they have to live together throughout their lives.
Therefore, it is worth discussing each other's values at the beginning of a relationship. Whatever one may say, but over time they are unlikely to change.
4. You do not seek to judge each other
If your partner does something unpleasant or tactful, you don't think he is doing it on purpose. That is, you continue to believe in his good intentions.
Celeste Hirschman is a sex expert and co-author of Making Love Real
Instead of looking for someone to blame, you share your feelings and try to find a solution so that the situation does not repeat itself in the future.
5. You don't keep records
Ideally, each partner does something for the other without expecting anything in return. But this is not always the case. And this leads to resentment and accusations in the spirit of "I am the only one investing in our relationship."
Ryan Howes advises to abandon such accounting, forget about waiting and just start talking to your partner about your desires.
6. You Solve Problems, Not Avoid Them
Problems are part of life, so there is no need to hide from them. As Kurt Smith points out, coping with difficulties together helps to strengthen the bond between partners.
It takes courage to solve problems. But the reward for this will be a stronger, safer relationship.
Kurt Smith
7. Each of you takes responsibility for your mistakes
If both partners are aware of their role in the relationship and are ready to admit their own wrong, this is also a very good sign.
Danielle Harel is a sex expert and co-author of Making Love Real
Imagine one person says, "I know that in a bad mood I can press on you and be unbearable." And the other replies: "Yes, but I also know that I can be too secretive, and that scares you." Such a relationship can really last a long time.
What else do you think can be a sign of a strong and long-term relationship? Share your opinion in the comments.
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