Table of contents:
- 1. Accept that it is inevitable
- 2. Consider who is criticizing you
- 3. Separate facts from your assumptions
- 4. Remember that negative comments say more about the critic than about you
- 5. Look for a grain of truth in other people's words
2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
Learn to respond to comments more calmly and benefit from them.
1. Accept that it is inevitable
The only way to completely avoid criticism is not to tell anyone about your existence. As soon as you start interacting with the world, others will form opinions of you. No one, not even the most successful people, enjoys widespread favor. There are always dissatisfied people.
From this perspective, criticism is a signal that you are on the right track. So when bringing your work to the public or remembering how you did or said something stupid, be sure to think about your courage. Perhaps you really made a mistake. But at least you tried.
2. Consider who is criticizing you
Consider whether the critic's opinion matters to you. It's one thing when it belongs to a boss or friend you trust. And it’s quite different when these are statements from a stranger who leaves you angry comments on Twitter.
3. Separate facts from your assumptions
Even when people criticize with good intentions, there is a huge gap between existing facts and human judgment. People around you interpret your actions and react to them in their own way. And you make your own assumptions in response to statements.
To understand a situation, imagine yourself describing it to a friend. Don't mention emotions, just list the facts. For example, six publishers rejected your manuscript. Come up with some explanations for what happened. Don't get hung up on the thought, "Everyone hates my book, and I'm not good for anywhere."
Remind yourself of the options available. You can send the book to other publishers. Or modify it. And then try to collect information in order to narrow these paths and find the right one.
4. Remember that negative comments say more about the critic than about you
If someone decides to criticize you for no particular reason, think about what it says about the person himself. Maybe he wanted to pretend he knew something special or was in control. Or he has problems with self-esteem, and publicly humiliating people, he seems to himself smart.
And if you speak out on some controversial topic or write about politics, negative comments will definitely reflect not your qualities, but the views of the critics.
5. Look for a grain of truth in other people's words
Criticism is perceived most painfully when it hurts to the quick. Everyone has doubts and self-doubt. Therefore, when someone's statement hurts, you feel bad not because of the words themselves, but because they remind you of a flaw that you yourself know about.
So do not get hung up on the statement, but think about whether you need to work on this problem. Not because you have to change for the critic. But because it is important for you.
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