Life is pain because you didn't choose happiness

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Happiness does not depend on external reasons, it depends on whether you choose it or not. Your intelligence and beauty, your ability to do something great or just do your job well cannot be objectively assessed. It all depends on what you think about it.

If only there were more good things in your life, you would be happy. It seems simple and logical: first improve your life, and then you will be happy.

But it's not that simple. When it comes to emotions, the opposite is true.

Happiness in spite of circumstances

We are watching a documentary about Mongolian nomads. They show how happy they are to lead such a lifestyle, live in tents and drink koumiss.

We think: "Yeah, I'm unhappy because I don't drink kumis!" or "Capitalism is to blame for everything, we must give up everything and go to Mongolia to roam." But the point of this film is not that Mongolian nomads are happy with this way of life. They are happy despite him.

We should not wait for something or try to create circumstances in which we will be happy. We can become happy right now, despite the circumstances that surround us. It doesn't matter what your circumstances are, if you choose happiness.

And just like happiness, you can choose to live without stress and negative reactions to any events.

Fear and guilt are bad motivation

Let's give an example. A person creates a to-do list and cannot complete some of its points. He begins to get nervous, afraid that other people will find out that he is not achieving his goals, he feels guilty.

To get rid of these emotions and feel good again, he decides to complete the tasks from the list by all means. He decides to go to bed later and get up earlier, regrets that he does not have enough time, and … still, he cannot cope with all the tasks.

Even if he does some business, he does not pay attention to these small achievements, continuing to concentrate on a heap of everything that has not been done and more and more feeling like a failure.

This is the whole problem. If you feel like a failure, you are acting like a failure. It doesn't matter how good you want to be, what bar you set for yourself in different areas of your life: if you think you're going to fail, you will.

Self-perception is destiny.

Nathaniel Branden writer

Trying to motivate yourself with guilt or fear will not help you succeed. Before you do something, you need to get rid of negative thoughts, convince yourself that you can, that everything will work out. If you feel good and believe in yourself, you will have good results. If you feel like a failure, only failure awaits you.

You are not a puppet

How you feel is not determined by the outside world. You can go from sadness to fun by noticing how much you've done. Suddenly get rid of fear and guilt and start having fun, remembering everything for which you are grateful.

Agree to change your beliefs just once, and your world will change.

In Malcolm Gladwell's book David and Goliath. How Outsiders Beat Favorites,”describes a study in which students from elite and mainstream colleges participated.

You might think that even bad students in an elite college would be better educated and smarter than students in a regular college. But research has shown that this is not the case.

Students who do well in a mainstream college perform better than poor to average students in an elite college.

It turns out that if you are the best in the ordinary class, you have a much better chance of becoming successful in life than if you are the average person in an elite establishment. It is better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small or even medium fish in a large one.

The confidence that you are the best is much more important than whether you really are. At least in the beginning.

When you think that you are doing something well, you do it more often, have more pleasure, and are not afraid of obstacles. So you keep doing this until you get really good results.

If you think that you are doing something bad, you will give up early, give up and never succeed in this business, even if you had great potential.

What to do if you are negative

Whether you want to be the best stripper in the world or stop being a loser at work, the first thing you need to do is convince yourself that you can do it. Or even that you are already good at it.

And you need to stop thinking that your value as a person depends on the ability to complete the task at hand. Realize that you are capable of completing this task, and success will only further emphasize your value.

Everybody experiences it

It's okay to feel these feelings, to wait for the onset of happiness and confirmation of your own worth. We all live like this, only sometimes we notice it, we want to correct ourselves and again forget.

You were told that the work was done perfectly, and you immediately felt like a professional, a master, although five minutes ago you doubted whether it was worth showing it to anyone at all.

But these are the opinions of other people, and your own opinion works no worse. So why not please yourself with a good opinion of yourself more often (if you can't do it all the time)?

If you start to feel like you’re a failure, take urgent action to feel cool.

For example, make a list of your victories:

• I woke up on time. Well done.
• Planned not to eat sweets after lunch and did not eat. Cool.
• Walked for 20 minutes, as I wanted. Fine.
• Wrote a cool post. Applause to me.

Each point makes you feel better, and with each new achievement, you become more confident in yourself. This means that you really get more strength and opportunities to do something.

To reinforce the positive effect, try writing a to-do list instead of a to-do list. So you will make sure that you have achieved a lot and continue to achieve every day, and your plans are being fulfilled.

Your productivity and quality of life depend on what you think about it. So if you're not getting better, then you just don't think you're better.

If your life is pain, then you have not chosen happiness.