Do I have to choose between work and personal life: the 4-burner theory

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

To achieve anything in life, you need to accept the harsh truth: you cannot sit on all the chairs at once. The four-burner theory clearly demonstrates this.

One way to represent the delicate work-life balance is called the four-burner theory. This concept is very simple and intuitive.

Imagine that your life is a stove with four burners. Each of them is one of the most important aspects of your life:

• the first burner - family life;
• the second burner - relationships with friends;
• the third burner is health;
• the fourth burner is a career.

The condition is very simple: in order to take place in life, you need to turn off one of these burners. To become really successful, you need to turn off two at once.

Three points of view on the four-burner concept

The first reaction to the theory of four burners is very predictable: we will try to work around this condition. Can you be successful without turning off the hotplates? For example, is it possible to combine two burners into one? Family and friends are something very close, so make it one category.

Are you capable of managing health and work at the same time? “I know that a sedentary lifestyle is dangerous to health. And at work I sit all day long. I'll buy a special table to work while standing! - you think.

To believe that you will save your own health if you start to work while standing is foolish. It's like making a great anarchist out of yourself, just crossing the road at a red traffic light and not wearing your seatbelt in your car.

Sooner or later, we will begin to realize that, by building all these complex schemes and trying to get around the theory of four burners, we are actually afraid to face the truth. And it consists in the fact that life is the art of making deals.

If you want to take place at work and be a good spouse, your friends will soon leave you and your health will not last long either.

If you want to be healthy and successful as a parent, you have to put professional ambition aside. Of course, you can make a career. But you can never give your best at work if a child is waiting at home for whom you want to be the best.

You can try to sit on all the chairs at once. Then you will not be truly successful in any area.

You have to choose. Do you want to live an unbalanced life, but take place in one of the areas? Or feel a balance between all aspects every day, but never become successful in any of them?

So what about the four-burner theory? Is there a way to solve the problem of balance between personal life and work?

Outsource your hotplate

We often delegate small tasks to someone else to make our life easier. We buy fast food so as not to cook dinner at home. We send things to the laundry, just not to arrange a washing day. We invite a specialist so as not to repair the equipment yourself. It is normal practice to outsource small tasks. It allows you to save a little time and spend it on more important or pleasant things.

Can this system be applied to one of the hotplates and free up time to focus on the other three?

The best example is work. For many, it is the quarry that is the hottest burner on the stove. This is what people spend most of their time on, and the last burner they agree to turn off. In theory, entrepreneurs can outsource this hotplate. To do this, you need to hire employees.

Another example is the family. Parents who work are forced to outsource the family's hotplate. They hire a nanny, give the baby to grandparents or take him to kindergarten. It seems a little unfair and dishonest, but the fact remains: parents often pay someone to keep the family's burner on while they spend time on something else.

However, outsourcing has a huge drawback. You can actually leave the burner on and focus on something else. However, when you exclude yourself from the equation, you lose touch with something very important.

Many entrepreneurs, when retiring from business, start to get bored and feel unnecessary. The vast majority of parents would like to spend a couple more hours with their child, instead of sending him to kindergarten.

Outsourcing is a way to leave one more burner on. But will there be any point in burning it?

Use restrictions to your advantage

It is impossible not to notice how the theory of the four burners sheds light on your hidden potential and talents. But it also clearly demonstrates your limitations.

“Ah, if I had a little more time, I would have made a little more money or stayed longer with my family,” you might think.

Look at this bitter truth from the other side. Instead of complaining that you can't reach your potential (you could!), Use these limitations to your advantage. For example, focus on making the most of the time you have. Let's say like this:

• If you can only work from 9 to 17, how can you make the most of your money during this time?
• If you can only write 15 minutes a day, how can you finish your novel as quickly as possible?
• If you can only exercise three hours a week, how do you get in top shape?

Questions like these help you focus on the positive and get the most out of what you already have. Learning how to use constraints to your advantage can increase productivity and efficiency in any area.

Seasonality of life

The third way to deal with the four-burner theory is to divide your life into seasons. What if instead of constantly trying to control four burners at once, you tried to focus on each one in turn?

After all, communication with friends is not always more important than family. It depends on the age of the person, his worldview, self-awareness. It is logical to divide your life into seasons and focus on the burners in turn. At 20, it's easy to play sports and start building a career. After a few years, you may want to start a family. And even later, you will feel the need for a strong, friendly shoulder and want to spend more time with your old comrades.

You don't have to give up and put your dreams on the back burner. But maybe you should think about how to prioritize. Life occasionally allows us to keep all the burners on at once.