7 main reasons for our failure in life

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

When life goes awry, it is helpful to understand why it is happening. So that you know where to expect trouble, Lifehacker has collected seven main reasons why failure is haunting us.

To survive under the enormous pressure of the conventions of modern society, we must be self-critical and confident that there is no place in our behavior for such shortcomings and mistakes that we do not know about.

Self-criticism - the ability to adequately and soberly assess your actions, admit that you are wrong, and also identify imperfections in your behavior.

It is necessary, without sentimentality and unnecessary tragedy, to come to terms with the fact that, alas, we are not ideal, no matter how much we would like to assert the opposite. You need to understand that the disappointments that lie in wait for us after making the wrong decisions are not a reason to give up and never try to change something again.

However, no matter how motivating and life-affirming the above phrases may sound, after another crushing fiasco we all want to feel sorry for ourselves at least a bit and blame the unjust world for all our troubles.

Why We Fail

1. We take on too complex tasks

We are so accustomed to easy success that, faced with the first difficulties, we do not immediately recognize the scale of the impending catastrophe. Ultimately, there is nothing surprising in the fact that we are unable to cope with the avalanche of piled up problems.

2. We do not know how to control ourselves

No need to raise an eyebrow in indignation: we all become obsessed when we strive very strongly for something. We are so insane that we stop listening to what the more sane people are trying to convey to us. We refuse to listen to reasonable arguments, lose patience, lose our temper, drive ourselves into a corner. Emotions take over.

3. We expect leniency from the world

We constantly hear about someone's incredible success stories and imagine - quite naturally - that they should be the norm. We forget that, in fact, these are isolated cases that cannot serve as guidelines in any way.

The vast majority of the people around us have completely different lives: they cling to the past, make unforgivable mistakes, make rash decisions, despise those who love them, and love those who despise them. They fail. They try to fix everything, but nothing works. They don't succeed despite their best efforts.

This is one of the most important problems of modern society: we are not able to admit that a really good person may never succeed.

We refuse to believe in the horrific injustice of the world and for some reason expect indulgences from it.

4. We envy instead of admire

We envy people who are many times more successful than us. We really want to be like them, but we still remain ourselves. A feeling of unhealthy competition awakens in us, we begin to harass ourselves. Unpleasant thoughts creep into my head by itself: why is he, and not me? As if the stock of happiness in this world is limited and someone deserves it to a greater extent, and someone to a lesser extent.

We don’t think about what is behind the success of the person we envy. Maybe he's working hard on himself? Maybe he works 18 hours a day and falls asleep at the workplace? Maybe he is so lonely that there is nothing in his life but work?

Are you ready to make such sacrifices?

We should not despair and panic over the fact that we cannot withstand the competition. On the contrary, we should admire the steadfastness and courage of the people we envy.

We were not born in equal conditions and are not in equal conditions until now. The point is not at all laziness or inability to decide on something. If you look at the situation impartially, the problem lies in the fact that we were too different from each other from the very beginning. What is the use of being jealous of something that we can no longer change?

5. We don't live up to expectations

We are not only our successes and achievements. We are also our failures and failures. People who know us from birth remember who we were and how we became who we are now.

These people love us not for something, but in spite of. It is ourselves, regardless of success, despite all the good and bad qualities that we have. Most of the people we will meet later will love us with some particular baggage. And they will not always like it.

6. We are deprived of the right to informed choice

Since childhood, we have been hammered into our heads with the idea that it is important to find our purpose in life and only then our existence will be meaningful and happy. We dreamed that we would find the perfect job, which we would go to with joy and from which we would receive only pleasure. There were no problems exactly until we started working.

Our choice of a career path took place unconsciously and not in the most favorable conditions. We were young, dependent on the opinions of our parents and those around us, who somehow knew what was best for us. We made a decision for our future ourselves, about which we knew absolutely nothing. And now we are paying for the consequences of our choice.

7. We are endlessly tired of everything

We all know this feeling very well. Young parents know that sometimes their child cries because he is just tired, and not because of the fact that cats scratch his soul. Then they put him to bed and hope that in the morning everything will pass.

We are all exhausted from time to time. Perhaps in such situations, the best way out is to listen to your angry inner child and try to help him.

How to stop blaming yourself

For some time, until we are strong enough to get back on our feet, we can indulge in a wonderful occupation - self-compassion.

Self-feeling is awareness and acceptance of yourself as you are, with all the imperfections and shortcomings.

Self-empathy lies in the fact that instead of ruthlessly punishing yourself for every defeat, you are showing kindness and understanding to yourself. You admit your mistakes, understand the reasons, forgive yourself for making them.

Remember that you are imperfect, the world is unfair, and mistakes will not make themselves. The next time you stop doing something, please your wounded pride with the excuses we gave above.