4 things that are more important than happiness

We are trying to find happiness through success, we are looking for the perfect job, the perfect partner, the perfect apartment. But instead of being satisfied, we end up with anxiety and emptiness. As paradoxical as it may sound, the pursuit of happiness makes us unhappy. … Sooner or later we begin to think: is this really all that is in life? But it is not the lack of happiness that causes this despair, but the lack of meaning. …

What is the difference. between a happy and meaningful life? Emily spent five years trying to figure it out. She has read hundreds of scientific studies, interviewed hundreds. In the end, she came to the conclusion that there are four components at the heart of a meaningful life.

1. Belonging to a group

A sense of belonging. arises in relationships in which you are valued for your qualities, for who you are, and in which you value others. Certain groups (sects, gangs) and relationships give a deceptive sense of belonging. They value you only for what you believe in, who you hate, and not for who you are in your essence.

True belonging arises where there is love and respect.

And this is always a choice: we can cultivate this feeling in our relationships with people. But often we unknowingly devalue Being Valued and Devalued at Work. others. We pass our acquaintances, not paying attention to them. We look at the phone when someone is talking to us. Little things like that make you feel invisible and unworthy. Alone and Without Purpose: Life Loses Meaning Following Social Exclusion. …

2. Purpose

Purpose is less about what you want and more about what you give to others. For example, hospital attendants say their goal is to help sick people. Many parents say their goal is to raise children.

The key to living a life of purpose is to use your strengths to help others.

Of course, for most, this happens at work. It is at work that we make some contribution to the common cause and feel needed. Still, purpose and work are not the same thing. The goal can be any reason that makes you live and moves you forward.

3. Connection with something big

These are those rare moments when you rise above the hustle and bustle of everyday life and go beyond your own ego. … Someone experiences this feeling when contemplating art, someone - during a church service, someone, for example, writers - in the process of creating a work.

This experience changes a person. During one study. participants were asked to stare at 60-meter eucalyptus trees for a minute. Participants then felt less self-centered and more responsive when others needed help.

4. Introducing yourself

Structuring the events of your life into a coherent story helps you understand how you became who you are now. But we often don't realize that we ourselves are the author of our own story and can change the way we tell it. Our life is not just a list of fait accompli. Based on them, we can edit, interpret and retell our story.

Think about your life: how certain events influenced you, what you lost, what you gained. Of course, you won't be able to change your self-image in one day; it can take years. It can be painful and difficult. But by accepting these painful memories, you will learn from them and become one step closer to a meaningful life.