REVIEW: "How to Defeat Fear" - a guide to combat what you fear most

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Fear is an integral part of our life. It is hard to believe that within the framework of one book one can at least explain its nature, but there is no need to talk about how to deal with it. However, Olga Solomatina in her book "How to Conquer Fear" was able to talk about how to overcome 12 demons that stand in the way of success and happiness.

I am afraid of many things. I'm afraid that something will happen to my health. Or that for some reason financial problems will arise. I'm afraid that something will happen to loved ones. These are fears that are remembered in one second and are inherent, perhaps, to everyone.

Subconsciously, a millionaire is also afraid of becoming a beggar, and a person with excellent health is afraid of getting sick or getting injured. Fear is what drives all our endeavors, and its benefits, as well as harm, of course, should not be underestimated. The book "How to Defeat Fear" by Olga Solomatina tells about 12 demons of fear and how to fight them.

The power of fear

Try to remember how many phobias do you know? Fear of insects, darkness, confined space, heights, people, shaking hands - it is not unreasonable to get the feeling that a person is afraid of everything. There are many fears, but these are special cases of what we can be afraid of. In the book, fears are divided into 12 groups: poverty, success and failure, “I can’t afford it”, “there’s not enough time”, social rejection, other people's desires, “all or nothing”, change, loneliness, disappointment of loved ones, fear of telling the truth, fear of the future.

There is a whole chapter devoted to each fear, and each chapter has about 30 pages. Of course, judging the effectiveness of a book by the number of pages is foolish. But there is an understanding that each fear is given separate attention. For example, I was curious to learn about fears of poverty, lack of time and loneliness. On others, I also walked casually, but they interested me much less.

There are practical exercises at the end of each chapter. After the first chapter, Olga proposes to write down 13 of her fears and depict them graphically side by side. The task seems difficult only at first glance. I portrayed the fear of being worse than others as a pedestal with myself in third place. The fear of poverty is the old carpet on the wall. For some reason, this very association arises in my head.

Where does success come from

To achieve success, according to Olga, hinders the tenth fear - "all or nothing." She cites famous people as examples: Barack Obama, who worked in an ice cream stand, former supermarket employee Hugh Jackman and Michael Fassbender as a bartender, and not Steve Jobs in the upcoming film. These people were not afraid to be imperfect. Where others have tried to achieve instant success, they have understood that they will first have to be in a role that may seem embarrassing to many.

The gradual path to success is a reality. By the way, improving and taking small steps forward is a skill that can be learned. As an example, the author cites Winston Churchill, who entered the Royal Military Academy on his third attempt, and lost elections to the House of Commons several times.

At a speech at Harrow School, where Churchill was invited to talk about the secret of success, he was laconic. Coming to the podium, he said:

Never give up - never, never, never. Neither big, nor small, nor large, nor small, never give up if it does not contradict honor and common sense. Never succumb to force, never succumb to the apparently superior power of your opponent.

After three sentences, Churchill sat down in a chair and looked at the audience, who stared at him in anticipation of the continuation. It did not follow.

To summarize the chapter on dealing with all-or-nothing fear, there are a few tips to highlight:

1. Success comes gradually. Replicated stories of instant success are either extremely rare or fictional.
2. Many people on the road to success do not shy away from dirty work. This is fine.
3. Never (repeat five times) give up.
4. Save yourself the right to make mistakes.

Conclusion

Olga Solomatina's book covers a too large and complex aspect of our life. After all, its goal is not only to tell about fear, but also to teach how to deal with it. Regardless, the 200-page book Coping with Fear can make a difference in your life. Especially if you can admit to yourself what you are really afraid of.

At the end of each chapter, key messages are highlighted and practical exercises are provided to help you analyze your condition and understand yourself. You can write directly in the book. But then you probably won't want to let anyone else read it. Too much is written in it that you do not want to share. This is probably another fear that I have to fight.