If you want change, do the opposite

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Remember the common saying: "The biggest foolishness is to do the same and hope for a different result." Therefore, when you feel that you are mired in a routine and mundane, use the best way to stop it - do the opposite.

The George Costanza effect

If you've watched Seinfeld, you know that George Costanza was an exemplary loser: his actions ended in failure, he was insecure, and his friends constantly ridiculed him. But in one episode, he reasons this way: since his usual behavior always leads to failure, for success he needs to do the opposite - the opposite of what his instincts tell him.

In the maddening world of the sitcom, this leads to immediate results. He asks a blonde out of his league on a date with the words: “My name is George. I am unemployed and live with my parents. Not a good strategy to get to know each other. Still, there is an important lesson in this episode that is worth remembering.

The main reason for stagnation in some aspects of your life is that you keep doing the same thing, consciously or unconsciously.

If you want to get better, you need to at least change your normal response in some situations.

Evolve

It would be rather rash to act like George and do exactly the opposite of what you have done throughout your life. Chances are, things would have gotten out of hand pretty quickly. But sometimes it's worth doing small, controlled experiments in which you try to do something the other way around. After all, if it doesn't work, then you can always return to your usual behavior.

Do you know which mechanism works on the same principle? Evolution. This is a process of gradual, continuous accumulation of small mutations, as a result of which new individuals appear. If you think about it, then all people are just a long series of mutations, which, accumulating and rearranging, have developed into a successful combination.

Evolution works by preserving and accumulating good mutations and discarding bad ones. Likewise, you can find a way to keep only good behaviors and get rid of bad ones.

In addition, evolution works by making changes on a small scale: for all species, one individual is a small scale (despite how painful mutation can be for that particular individual). The good news is, in your case, small scale will help make the experiment easier and shorten the experiment.

Some helpful tips

So where do you start your short self-transformation experiments?

1. Don't take yourself too seriously

However, it is not necessary. The easiest way to change the world is to stop worrying too much and just act. This is a rather interesting paradox. Those who worry too much about the consequences of their actions end up changing their minds and doing nothing. While other people just try to do something and achieve positive changes.

You will be original just by being yourself. This does not mean that you should do something stupid, such as getting involved in a fight or jumping from the tenth floor. But small, manageable risks are necessary from time to time. This way you will not only like yourself more, but also make amazing discoveries. The world is full of people who do the "right thing." Do what is right for you, not for them.

2. Analyze your first reaction

Did you know that the best way to determine which foot to start with is to get a push in the back? You instinctively try to prevent a fall by putting one foot forward - that's where you need to start.

The first reaction characterizes you. In other words, we are a long list of reactions to various events that can potentially happen to us. Therefore, you must constantly notice your unconscious reactions and consciously change some of them. The next time you do something reflexively, stop, analyze, and decide if you could have done otherwise. As a rule, many reactions are dictated to us by fear, and fear should not always be listened to.

3. Surround yourself with the right people

As you exchange thoughts with the same people, you will quickly find that your thinking is not developing. Surround yourself with reckless daredevils and you will find yourself taking more risks and trying new things.

Whether you realize it or not, you are greatly influenced by the people around you every day.

Surround yourself with people you admire, who have achieved what you yourself would like to achieve. Or those who are different from you in those aspects of life that you would like to improve. Soon you will begin to think like them, act like them and ultimately achieve the same results as they do.

4. Repeat what works, discard the rest

It is much easier to settle for experiments when you see their positive consequences.

Inevitably, some of your experiments will fail. But instead of beating yourself up, keep moving on and try new things. Sometimes amazing things will happen when something turns out to be successful against all your expectations.

When something good happens to you, try to learn from the situation and try to repeat it in the future. Repeat this process over and over. Act like evolution.