An uncomplicated mechanism that will help you radically change your life

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

The real you is not who you are now. The real you is who you want to be. To quickly achieve quality changes in life, you need to behave as if you are already the way you would like to see yourself.

In 1978, social psychologist Ellen Langer conducted a study involving nursing home residents. They were divided into two groups, both of which were entrusted with indoor plants. The first group was assigned to take care of the plants and given the freedom to determine their own daily routine. The second group was told that the plants would be taken care of by the hospital staff, and not entrusted with overseeing the daily routine.

After a year and a half, twice as many people from the first group survived than from the second. According to Langer, this proved that the postulate that there is no connection between body and mind is fundamentally wrong.

She then continued her research to study the effects of consciousness on the body.

How to turn back time

In 1981, in an experiment, Langer and a group of alumni designed the premises of one building to look like 1959. It housed a black and white TV, old furniture, magazines and books from the 50s of the last century.

Eight people over 70 were supposed to live in this building for five days. Until the end of the experiment, the participants listened to the radio, watched films, and discussed events from the 50s. They talked about themselves, their family and work as if it were 1959. The goal was not to make these people live in the past. It was necessary at the level of consciousness to make the bodies of the participants in the experiment function in the same way as the bodies of much younger people.

What happened to the subjects? By the end of the experiment, the participants had markedly improved hearing, vision, memory, reaction speed, and appetite. Those of them who were previously helped by children became able to move and carry their things on their own.

Providing these people with freedom and independence, as well as communicating with them as with ordinary people, and not as with the elderly, gave them the opportunity to look at themselves from a different angle, which was reflected in their physical condition.

The roles we play in life determine our sense of self and behavior

Other studies have shown the darker side of the same effect. For example, Philip Zimbardo's famous Stanford Prison Experiment showed how the roles we take on affect our behavior and our identity.

The participants in the experiment were divided into two groups: one played the role of guards, the other - prisoners. The experiment had to be interrupted ahead of time, because the "actors" performed their roles too well. The "guards" began to mock the "prisoners", and the "prisoners" became more submissive and began to feel oppressed and hopeless. Several participants in the experiment were psychologically traumatized.

The roles we play in life often have a decisive impact on who we are and how we behave. Our personality is not something strictly fixed.

On the contrary, it is a very flexible substance that quickly adjusts to our roles. For example, many believe that Heath Ledger's death is at least partly due to the fact that he was overly imbued with his last role in The Dark Knight.

Our whole life is a game, and people in it are actors

This famous quote is even more true than it seems. We all play different roles in different contexts. In one situation you are a musician, in others you are a father, friend, loved one, student or teacher.

The situation determines the role we play. However, most people do not realize that there is also an inverse relationship. You just need to decide who you want to play. It's up to you to choose where you play, who and how. You can write your own life story instead of outsourcing the storytelling role.

Yes, you are who you are. But you can become who you want to be.

How you can use this knowledge to achieve your goals

It is important to understand that the real you are not the person who you are at the moment. The real you is who you want to become. You have everything in order to determine how many acts will be in the play of your life and what characters will be in it. And even if something unexpected happens, you can always improvise without departing from your principles and values. This is how you keep yourself real.

Because you can define your environment and the roles you play, you can make qualitative changes in your professional and personal life. This is a simple process, and here are the stages it includes.

1. Define your goal.
2. Move towards your goal by immersing yourself in situations that will make you worthy to achieve that goal.
3. Determine the roles you will need to play in the situations that you will create for yourself.
4. Play the role until it becomes part of your personality.
5. Build relationships with people who will support you and help you achieve your goal.
6. Repeat everything from the first step, but at a higher level.

How to set a goal correctly

This is the main irony in most people's lives. They don't understand very well what they want from their life. But at the same time they are quite active.

Ryan Holiday Business Consultant, Media Strategist, Science Popularizer

Most wander through life as thoughtlessly as on the Internet, checking only their news feed and lingering on random pages. They have not determined what they want, so they are adjusting to the already existing situation.

If you decide exactly what you want, then the Universe itself will help you achieve what you want.

When you set a specific goal for yourself and write your own story, you are simultaneously determining which stages of the journey await you in moving towards the goal. When creating your own conditions for development, you need to know who you want to see yourself in the next stage.

This does not mean that you need to completely plan out your future. By doing this, you will again frame your personality and limit your potential. On the contrary, by making qualitative changes in your life, you will open up many new opportunities for yourself.

Each time you go to a new level in life, you will have to become a different version of yourself.

Leonardo DiCaprio is an American actor and producer.

For example, you were planning to start your own business, save up more money, and arrange for yourself a "retirement" by the age of 40. And now you turn 40, but you feel full of energy and start a business in a completely different area. Why not? In 20 years it is rather difficult for us to predict what will interest and excite us when we will be 40. Perhaps this is the whole beauty of life.

Why is it important to be able to create context

Context helps us evolve naturally.

Ellen Langer social psychologist

Most people, instead of choosing new conditions, make every possible effort to remake the conditions in which they already find themselves. However, they rely too much on willpower.

It is important to understand that it is quite difficult to develop with the help of willpower alone. This is a very slow, gradual path of self-improvement, like a hike to the top of a steep mountain. That way you won't be able to make a qualitative leap in your life. And with the help of the conscious creation of new conditions, you can. The changes will happen naturally. This is the only way you can achieve what you thought was beyond your capabilities. This will create a river that will carry you straight to your goal.

How to determine the role you will play

Play is not a metaphor, but rather a model of behavior that you can apply both in work and in everyday life.

Michael Port consultant, coach, speaker on marketing and goal setting

Your behavior and the roles you play affect the people around you. Creating the right context will help you define the right role, but you can also help yourself by asking yourself the following questions.

• How would you like to influence others?
• Who do you need to be to achieve your goals?
• What will your voice be?
• Who will you play?

Even the details are important. Probably everyone knows this advice: in order to move up the career ladder, you need to dress in low positions the way bosses dress. It makes sense, but the focus is naturally on behavior.

Act as if you've already changed

If you want to develop a quality, act as if you already have it.

William James American philosopher and psychologist

Of course, there are circumstances that objectively limit you. You can hardly stretch under two meters if your height is one and a half. But if you want to be a great musician, an outstanding writer, or be successful in business, everything is in your hands. When it comes to ability, there are no boundaries.

You will probably feel like a cheater at first, your behavior will seem unnatural to you. This is not very pleasant. Your previous characteristics will make themselves felt even if the context requires you to be a completely different person. But gradually you will get used to it and find that you have grown together with your role and this is already you.

How to build the right relationship

The more significant your goal, the more important the team in which you move towards it.

Robin Sharma is a Canadian writer, specialist in motivation, leadership and personal development

You cannot do without the help of loyal friends and mentors. In Your Support Group, Keith Ferrazzi challenged the popular idea that the path of being a leader is the path of a loner and that you can become that lonely super professional superman.

Keith talks about building deep and trusting relationships with a few people who will encourage, support, and give you feedback on what you are doing. They will not let you give up and go astray.

We are all just people. The situations you throw yourself into to develop are too difficult to handle on your own.

Conclusion

Elizabeth Gilbert American writer

Sometimes a person who seems completely unprepared to perform certain tasks, simply not competent enough to do so, somehow suddenly unleashes his potential with the help of wild but unconditional belief in himself.

It is quite possible to quickly achieve qualitative changes in life. You just need to have the courage to put yourself in an environment that will challenge you and make you better. You will need to define exactly who you want to be and maintain faith in yourself in all situations. And you will have to act as if you are already who you want to be.

If you can do this, you will find that your potential is limitless. The choice is yours. As always.