5 reasons to disappoint others

Respect, sensitivity, the ability to listen to others are integral parts of human relationships. But sometimes they take on ugly, hypertrophied features. This happens in cases where a person sacrifices his own well-being for the sake of someone's peace of mind or because of unwillingness to enter into conflict.

American psychologist Ashley Curiel argues that such behavior is unproductive, since as a result, both are left unsatisfied: the one who projects expectations and the one who tries to justify them.

To avoid such a sad ending, you should stop caring about someone else's opinion and even disappoint someone. Curiel gives five good reasons to do this.

You need to disappoint someone in order to …

Live your life

We all know people who live for someone's approval. It is they who become accountants and doctors, because their parents want it, while they themselves dream of being artists and writers. Such people can spend their entire lives making someone else's dream come true. Even worse, they can already impose their dream on their own children. As a result, all this turns into some kind of endless baton of suffering.

Of course, if someone close to you gives you good advice and you feel that he will really help, that's great. Otherwise, it is better to think about what exactly you want, and, perhaps, make a decision that others will not like.

Getting out of unhealthy relationships

A common situation: relationships (love or friendship) take on a one-sided character, when one person gives all the time, and the other only accepts. In such a union, the first partner feels used and depleted, and the second one feels content. It is he who will protest in the event of the termination of the relationship, and will probably even begin to openly conflict, manipulate and accuse the partner of all mortal sins. It is difficult to endure such an attack, but such is the price for leaving a destructive alliance.

Start all over again

A person changes, and at some point he may see himself differently, want something different, in general, discover a new facet of his own personality. Alas, as in the previous paragraph, his loved ones are not always able to accept these changes. They may simply not notice who a person really is or who he may become.

If you find the courage to end or limit your relationship with such people, then there will be a chance to let someone new into your life. Someone who will truly accept your personality and not the comfortable and familiar version of your personality.

Quit your unloved job

No matter how ideal the job may seem at the beginning, there is always the possibility that over time a person will grow cold towards it. This does not mean that it will turn into a heavy burden - it will simply stop bringing joy. At the same time, a person may be afraid to leave her because of a commitment to a team or a boss.

In a situation like this, it's best to weigh everything well. Getting fired may not always be the right decision. But, if you feel that you are at a dead end and there is no other way out, it is better to quit your job, despite the possible upset of colleagues.

Reach new career heights

By analogy with the previous scenario, a person may initially enjoy work, but at some point reach the ceiling. In this case, career. If he feels that he is capable of more, and the company has nothing to offer him, then, despite his high position and the possible dissatisfaction of his subordinates, he should think about dismissal.

Be that as it may, a sense of responsibility for others should not interfere with personal and professional growth. And it sometimes means changing jobs.

A person who decides on such drastic changes must be prepared for a negative reaction from others. The best course of action in this case is not to resist their feelings, but also not to forget about your own needs.

What to do if you disappoint someone

1. Apologize for the pain you have caused. But make sure that the apology does not involve your own choice.

2. Turn to meditation. It helps you better understand yourself, calm down and enter into conflict without excessive defense or aggression.

You can also try to change the negative attitude of the other through meditation. Try to send him "light impulses" at the end of the practice. Such a technique can have a powerful effect. At the very least, you yourself will begin to treat your opponent with more warmth, and this will already increase the chances that the quarrel will not take on a gigantic scale.

3. Finally, sometimes it's better to do nothing at all. Give people time (and space) to process your decision. Perhaps after a short break, they will come back to you and offer their help.

In any case, even if you feel uncomfortable and want to resolve the situation immediately, find patience in yourself. Then the likelihood that others will be more tolerant of your choice will increase.