5 steps to start living life to the fullest

What is emotional flexibility

Emotions have evolved over millions of years during evolution, they allowed the ancient man to adequately respond to dangers.

In the life of a modern person, there are much less dangers, and if we do not interfere with our emotions, they tell us how to act in a given situation. We understand with our hearts if someone is lying, and we cannot explain why we do not like a certain person, we just feel that way.

Emotional flexibility is the ability of a person to respond optimally to everyday situations, not bumping into feelings and self-criticism, but taking troubles for granted.

Consumer culture feeds the notion that anything that doesn't suit us can be fixed. Unsuccessful relationships are "treated" by changing partners, unproductive work turns into a search for special applications for a smartphone or training courses. When we try to forcibly correct negative thoughts, we only become more obsessed with them.

Eighty percent of success is turning your face in the right direction.

Woody Allen

Emotional flexibility begins with turning to face yourself and looking at your thoughts, emotions, and behavior with awareness and without prejudice. Let's see what steps need to be taken for this.

1. Realize that you are on the hook

We speak an average of 16,000 words a day, but our inner voice speaks much more. Most of our thoughts are a powerful cocktail of evaluations and judgments, heavily flavored with emotion. And in our judgments, we easily fall for the self-digging hook, even in fairly neutral situations.

Think back to yourself as a child. You did not choose your own parents, character or physique, the economic situation in the country and the financial situation of the family. All of this was not the fruit of your efforts, it was all by itself. As a child, you used only what you had to the maximum, acted in the circumstances - and coped.

Now imagine that the child you once were is running up to you in tears. It is unlikely that you will laugh at his fears, say that he was warned and that he himself is to blame. Most likely, you will hug him and calm him down. An adult needs to treat himself with the same compassion.

If you want to learn how to live in the present, without floating away into sky-high dreams of the future and without being tormented by regrets about past failures, we advise you to read the book "Emotional Flexibility".

Susan David gives many examples from her practice, in which you will definitely recognize yourself, and will show you how to act more constructively in a given situation.