6 Relationship Situations When You Should Lie

1. When you leave the abuser

If you have made a decision to get out of a destructive relationship and prepare ways to escape, lie recklessly. Your main task is to lull the attention of the aggressor in order to start saving money, collecting things, making connections with people who will help emerge from this abyss.

In particular, you should hold back if you want to sort things out in the end, although victims of emotional abuse usually have neither the strength nor the desire to do so. The aggressor's reaction is unpredictable if he realizes that the victim is off the hook. And it's better to be alive and well than right and honest.

2. When a partner asks: "Did you love someone stronger than me?"

If you have not agreed in advance about absolute, one hundred percent honesty, say no. Let's say you had a stronger feeling in your life than the current one. Who will feel better if you tell the truth?

Having confessed your true feelings, you will take out a well-hidden skeleton from the closet and put it third at the table.

So leave him in the dressing room and feel free to lie. Unless, of course, deep down, you do not plan to return to your previous love - it is dishonest to hide such plans from your current partner.

3. When preparing a surprise

According to the law of meanness, a person for whom a surprise is being prepared sharpens all feelings, a third eye and the ability to see through walls appear - in a word, there is a great chance that he will understand everything ahead of time. Therefore, most likely, you will not only have to lie on the go, but weave a web of lies in order to keep the surprise a secret. Make sure that the lie is offensive, otherwise you risk losing half before you get to day X.

4. When you leave a generally good person

The tomatoes of your love have faded and wilted and you are packing up the bags. The former partner is probably wondering what was wrong. Do not rush to dump the entire list of misconduct on him. Are you sure that the reason for the breakup is its shortcomings? Or is it just convenient to justify your departure by accusing your former lover of all sins?

They also leave good people. "They didn't agree" is not just a duty reason for parting.

5. When complimenting to cheer up your partner

Let's say your girlfriend caught a cold and turned from a glossy beauty into a beauty with a swollen nose and red eyes. The phrase "You look great" is not a lie at all, because the girl has a mirror, she knows the truth. It's just another way to talk about your love.

6. When it's not your secret

All property acquired in marriage is considered common, but the secrets of your friends do not belong to it. You don't have to write a fake story filled with details, just answer “don't know” to an uncomfortable question about someone you know.

Psychologist's comment

First of all, you need to understand the definitions. Lies - deliberate distortion of information or its replacement with other facts. Relationship is the interaction of two people who respect and love each other.

Therefore, in the case of the abuser, we are not talking about lies in the relationship: they are no longer there. There is a salvation for your life, health and well-being. In other situations, it is important what the couple agreed on, whether there is respect and a request for feedback in a given situation. Another point is the reason for the distortion of facts. Am I afraid of hurting my partner or cheating on my behalf?

If we proceed from the position of relationships, trust and agreements, then it makes sense to rely on them. Does your partner like surprises? (And if not, it's better not to arrange them.) Do I want to discuss with him why I am leaving him? The most successful option is to decide whether to lie or not, based on the relationship that you have at the moment.

In the event that the relationship is built on manipulation, there is already a lie in them, there is a lot of it, and it is hardly for the good.