7 ways we mask fears

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Recognizing them is the first step to letting go of your fear.

Each of us is full of fears. Some of us are aware, some live deep in the subconscious. Unfortunately, they both complicate our life in the same way.

Many people do not know how to deal with such fears, such as the fear of being alone or of rejection, and therefore learn to mask them. That is, they do not recognize the problem and behave as if the harmful behavior has no alternative.

The best way to overcome fear is to give it a name. I have collected the most popular ways people try to hide this name. Read about them and if you meet someone you know, take the first step towards deliverance.

1. Flattery

Flattery is used by people who want to use someone. They exaggerate a person's achievements in order to give him a sense of comfort and to tie him to themselves. Hypocrisy does the same.

Flattery man disguises self-doubt. He is afraid that no one will respect his achievements or character, and therefore tries to deserve it by deception. Only he does not receive respect, but only a reward for loyalty.

Flattery is like a bribe. To stop giving it, decide what is more important to you: self-respect or the opinion of others.

2. Seclusion

“If I don’t communicate with anyone, no one will hurt me,” the hermits reason.

People who avoid any form of socialization are simply afraid to open up to others. Their fear is that others will make fun of their weaknesses and will not accept them. But without our weaknesses, there would be no virtues. This makes the personality unique.

Unfortunately, there are many people around who can hurt us. But this is not a reason to turn away from the world forever. There are also many who are willing to take care of it. The main thing is to slowly continue the search.

3. Narcissism

Nobody likes daffodils. It seems to us that they do not stop talking about themselves, because they love themselves too much. From the point of view of psychology, the opposite is true.

Narcissism is the fear that no one will love a person. What options does he have? Try to prove that he likes at least himself.

There is nothing wrong with healthy selfishness. It helps you maintain self-confidence and follow through on decisions when needed. But obsessive demonstration of your merits is a sign of insecurity. Learn to distinguish between these two extremes.

4. Criticism

Healthy criticism is called only in one case: when you are asked about it. If a person criticizes indiscriminately, he compensates for his fears. First of all - the lack of confidence in their knowledge. This describes the psychological effect of Dunning-Kruger, according to which the more professional a person is, the less he is ready to insist on his position. This is because only a person with experience understands how much is unknown to him. And vice versa: the one who knows little is absolutely sure of his competence, therefore he seeks to impose his opinion on those around him.

Doubt that you are right at least sometimes. Only the one who does not learn anything has no doubts.

5. Backbiting

Why do people like to gossip? So they compensate for the fear that nothing interesting will ever happen in their life. For gossipers, the success of the person they are discussing is direct evidence of their own laziness and inaction. Their subconscious mind sees this as a sign: "We must not miss this opportunity to speak out!"

The solution is simple: learn to live your life. Look for small and big joys in it that will bring pleasure. If you are happy, you want to share your happiness. There is simply no time left to evaluate others.

6. Complaints

It seems that we are so used to making complaints and listening to them from others that there is nothing to worry about.

In psychology, regular complaints are a sign of a neurotic state. People who complain about life are not looking for advice, they want someone to confirm their case against evil reality.

The main fear of people with complaints is responsibility for decisions. After all, if you stop complaining, then you will be left alone with the problem.

The secret is to make up your mind. From this meeting, the forward movement begins.

7. Commanding others

When a person cannot keep his life under control, he tries to control everyone around. It is a panic fear of losing face. Because of him, a person believes that without commands and orders, others will not respect and appreciate him. Such people hide behind the words "duty" and "responsibility" in relation to others, but they themselves are not able to appreciate the values of others.

You can get rid of this habit and overcome fear only slowly, giving freedom of action to those around you. Yet trust works much better on relationships than threats.

Outcome

Soviet psychologist Vladimir Levi compared fear to a mongrel who only runs after those who run from her.

To get rid of fears, you need to face them. And to do this, admit that we often hide them behind criticism and complaints. You will not become a fearless person, but you can become someone who is honest with yourself and others. In this case, fear itself will bypass you.