Why each of us needs more holidays

Relationship

To maintain a relationship, do you try to fix whatever causes negativity? Stop right now: it doesn't make any sense. We need to act in a different direction. Statistics show that more often than not, divorce is not due to an increase in relationship problems. Usually, breakups are caused by a reduction in positive emotions.

How to tell if a couple is happy in a relationship? Don't watch people swear, watch how they celebrate.

If you want to improve your relationship, spend more time together and celebrate pleasant things.

Research confirms that couples who regularly enjoy spending time together and celebrating have higher levels of affection, intimacy, trust, and satisfaction in relationships. It's not enough for your partner to just know that you are proud of their accomplishments. Show it. By emphasizing the importance of the little pleasant things that happen every day, you strengthen your marriage.

It's not just romantic relationships that need holidays. People in love constantly celebrate anniversaries. But if you and a friend have been in a relationship for 15 years, you are unlikely to go out to dinner together in a restaurant to raise a glass of wine on this occasion. Appreciate friendship and don't hide your joy.

Work

Harvard professor Teresa Amabile found seven factors that make employees more productive and happier. As you might have guessed, the holidays at work are one of them.

The thoughts, feelings, and accomplishments of employees become better when their successes, however small, are celebrated at work.

Want to learn how to work in a team? Let's turn to research on sports teams for a second. Who has the most victories on the field? Teams that celebrate them with their comrades.

Of course, it is not customary to dance in the conference room, as after a successful goal on the football field. But there is no excuse for you if you do not tell your colleagues "High five!" and don't slap them on the shoulder. These little ways to celebrate a victory lead to big changes.

In 2010, a group of scientists from Berkeley discovered a connection between the habit of patting on the shoulder as a congratulation and successful group interaction. Researchers have studied this phenomenon in basketball teams, as the sport requires teamwork and is known for its complex body language.

It turned out that the number of friendly punches, slaps with palms, hugs, pats on the shoulders and on the head correlated significantly with the degree of teamwork. For example, if one of the team members needed help, the other players helped him cope with the attacks of opponents, and did not try to better show their individual qualities in the game. And teams of players that were more cooperative were more likely to win.

Happiness

We spend a lot of time trying to get hold of things that can make us happier. But this is not the most effective strategy. Better to learn to appreciate the good that you already have.

Gratitude and having fun are the most famous and powerful triggers of happiness. You don't even have to get out of bed to use them. The point is how you direct your attention.

The main component of pleasure is focused attention. By taking the time and effort to appreciate some positive event in life, people begin to feel better. So when you feel grateful or joyful over something beautiful, express it. Say or do something to show how you feel. Simply put, celebrate it.

Expressing your positive emotions by shouting "Hurray!", You become happier.

Does it sound corny? Perhaps. But it works. This behavioral response is a physical expression of feelings that exhibits intense joy, excitement, and enthusiasm. You can jump, dance, laugh out loud, express appreciation and joy verbally. It doesn't matter if this reaction is reflexive or if you did it on purpose, you will still feel happier.

Motivation

What will help you cement a new habit and achieve your goals? Chocolate bar. The author of the bestselling The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg, says a small reward will help you build a good habit more quickly.

Have you gone for a run today and want to be sure you will go tomorrow? Treat yourself to eat some chocolate.

Every habit has three components: a trigger that triggers the habit, a pattern - the habit itself - and a reward. The reward is very important, because it is it that anchors in your brain a pattern of behavior that should be triggered automatically. Chocolate is a prime example of a reward that is enjoyable.

Little joys trigger the motivation mechanism and help to cope with the most difficult tasks.

Writer Dan Pink says that all research on motivation converges on one thing: small joys lead to big accomplishments. Taking the time to enjoy the good things in your life is a huge boost of motivation.

Still wondering whether to host a party? Let's take another look at the facts and see how you can change your life for the better just by adding a little celebration.

Finally

Do you want to feel no regrets looking back at your life? Then celebrate important events. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, Nobel laureate, found that our perception of past experiences - whether happy or sad - is determined by two dimensions. Firstly, by how we perceived the event at the peak of its development, and, secondly, by how we felt after its completion. What we experience at the end is a moment of generalization of experience. We then rely on this “summary” to recall the experience.

Your brain is not a perfect computer. What you remember is not at all the same as what actually happened.

You can make your memories even better than the real event.

How can you fool the brain and look back at life only with joy? Make important events in life always end with something good - a holiday. This will make all your memories happy. And if your head is filled with happy memories, then your whole life from the height of the past years will seem amazing. Just add more holidays to your life.