8 tips for those looking to be happy at 40

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

After two years of research and over 400 interviews with middle-aged people, NPR's regular reporter Barbara Bradley Hagerty has the most complete picture of how to live well into adulthood. And she shared her best recommendations.

1. Strive for long-term goals, rather than chasing short-term pleasures

You will most likely find both. Aristotle believed that the basis of all motives of human behavior is the desire to be happy. Moreover, happiness does not lie only in momentary joys like delicious food or a wonderful day at the beach. Happiness is primarily about striving for an important goal: for example, raising children or running a marathon. Pursue your dreams and you will be happier.

2. Choose what's most important

Short-term goals have a devastating effect on your life. For example, you focus on activities that are immediately gratifying (say, at work), and put off until later difficult but more meaningful activities (such as family and children).

Many people prioritize work over family because the results of their work can be seen and felt immediately. You work all night long and successfully close the deal, and then you get promoted and thanked for the work done. This does not happen in family matters. But in fact, it is close and dear people who are the deepest source of happiness. By investing strength, time and energy in your relationship with your family, you can achieve heights in other areas of life.

3. Avoid boredom, not fear

Most people become professionals in their field by the age of 40, and then there is a choice: play a cautious game or take risks. And, as is often the case, risk avoidance at work becomes the main cause of stagnation and dissatisfaction with life.

Remember that you have all the cards in your hands - there is still a huge difference between one year of experience and twenty years. This does not mean that you need to blindly follow your fantasies. Instead, think about how you can do your job to reflect your skills, personality, and talents.

4. At every stage of your life, you must be a beginner at something

Try new things. Even if you fail in your endeavors, it will only make you stronger. Ride a bike, come up with an unusual hobby. There should always be something new and challenging in your life. If you find people and activities that you care about, you will live an extraordinary life.

5. Add punctuation marks to your life

The very beginning of adulthood includes many stages: graduation from the university, the beginning of a career, a wedding, the first child. The average age can be compared to a book with no structure: no sentences, chapters, paragraphs, punctuation marks. Remember that goals in life make us think. Small victories over yourself will help you to get out of bed with joy every morning. Set goals and achieve them.

6. Few failures are what you need

It seems that everything bad that can happen is concentrated in the middle of life: you can lose your spouse, parents, your favorite job, your excellent health. But people with a calm life - in the complete absence of blows of fate - as a rule, are more likely to feel unhappy and fall into depression more easily than those who have experienced some negative events in their lives. Some setbacks will help you look at yourself and your life from a new perspective, as well as teach you how to restore your vitality.

Your environment is important. People who allow others to help them tend to recover faster than independent people. It's also important to rely on yourself and use your strengths. They will help you go through all the difficulties and teach you to believe in yourself.

7. The biggest threats to a long marriage are boredom and lack of attention

The brain loves novelty. Therefore, the surest way to revive a marriage that has long been on the rolled track is to create new experiences. Go hiking, travel through mountains and forests. It may seem to you that there is no more boring activity, but it's worth a try: pack your things, bring your children and friends and go in search of a new one. Leaving your usual and such a cozy comfort zone, even if for a while, will make your life brighter and your relationship stronger.

8. Happiness is love. And the point

George Vaillant, a psychiatrist and scientist, has been doing research for several decades (and it continues to this day): Why do some people succeed in life and others do not? It turned out that the secret of a successful and happy life is not in biology. These are not genes, not high status in society, and not education. This is not IQ or parenting. The secret to prosperity is a warm relationship.

And in conclusion, let's recall the main idea about happiness: a second chance is always presented, the main thing is to keep your eyes wide open.