3 types of perfectionism that ruin your life

Many people are familiar with the feeling that others are watching every action and are just waiting for a miss. Perhaps you yourself sometimes do this. Or you criticize yourself too much. All these are manifestations of perfectionism. It is divided into three types: self-directed, directed at others and imposed by society.

Nearly everyone faces perfectionism, according to a recent study. Scientists analyzed the results of psychological tests of 40 thousand students from America, Great Britain and Canada from 1989 to 2016. It turned out that all three types of perfectionism have become more common lately.

Journalist Reuben Westmaas spoke about the findings of the researchers and shared his own opinion.

What is perfectionism

1. Self-directed perfectionism

This type is closest to what we usually understand as perfectionism. Those who are exposed to it make impossible demands on themselves. They think over every little thing in their actions, looking for mistakes. And when something goes wrong, they suffer from. Even if the situation was out of their control.

You might think this behavior is not harmful. However, according to the study authors, self-directed perfectionism is associated with various indicators of social maladjustment. Including with anxiety, anorexia nervosa and minor depression. A depressed state can even arise due to a discrepancy between oneself and ideas about the ideal self.

2. Perfectionism directed at others

If in the first case your criticism is directed, then in the second type of perfectionism it also extends to those around you. You think that you yourself are doing everything well, but others need to catch up. And you expect the impossible from your family, friends and colleagues.

The researchers note that these perfectionists often have problems with trust, guilt transfer, and latent hostility. However, they can be good leaders. You just need to restrain the urge to criticize, especially at home.

3. Perfectionism imposed by society

This is perhaps the most insidious kind of perfectionism. It is triggered by the (not necessarily true) belief that others are making exaggerated demands on you. From this there is a feeling that you are constantly letting everyone down and are unable to do what they want from you.

This type of perfectionism, like the previous one, can harm relationships with others, because it affects. If you constantly think that others do not value you, then you yourself cease to value yourself.

Why perfectionism is so common now

According to the authors of the study, the spread of perfectionism is associated with the growing popularity of neoliberalism. According to this branch of political and economic philosophy, competition between people and tough anti-collectivism will make the world a better place. It would seem that if everyone tries to surpass others, all of humanity will become better. But this is not a recipe for success, but a path to a nervous breakdown.

If in such a system it is believed that achievement of success is possible solely due to inner merits, an accompanying negative phenomenon arises. Anyone who fails is considered unworthy.

Of course, it cannot be said for sure that it was neoliberalism that caused the widespread spread of perfectionism. But still, think about how the desire to be better at everything affects you.