5 ways to maintain interest in your partner

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Love doesn't have to die after three years or even later.

One of the main questions strong couples care about is how to maintain attraction for each other over the years?

Jordan Gray, psychologist, sexologist, author of books on relationships, and trainer, conducted a survey among couples with different length of life together: from newlyweds to spouses who have been married for more than 50 years. The results confirmed that the sex appeal of a partner changes in our eyes, like the ebb and flow.

The reasons are different: stress, heavy workload, bad mood, a week-long visit from the parents of the second half … All this reduces libido. But even if you exclude everyday factors, the attraction of partners gradually weakens. Why?

It's time to shake the cobwebs off the top of your head and figure out how to stay attractive to your loved one in a long-term relationship.

1. Look in the mirror

Often, a decrease in your partner's attractiveness signals that something is wrong with your well-being. If you are confident and happy, then your partner seems to be the sexiest person in the world. And if you are depressed and worried about something, then it seems that your partner has lost all his charm.

So, before you blame your partner for your bad mood and coldness, look in the mirror and honestly answer: are you yourself attractive enough and tuned in to love?

2. Find a way to get bored

People began to communicate too much. Any person we love is always one message away. But too close communication, albeit through gadgets, leads to depressing consequences. If you are constantly together, you will not have time to miss each other and the relationship will turn from pleasure into a duty.

When you are physically close to your loved ones, of course, give them all your attention. But when you are apart, even for a couple of hours, do only your own business.

Stop texting your partner every day. Do not be accountable for every step, set aside several topics for discussion until the next meeting. Have a bachelor or bachelorette party, spend the weekend apart, or at least go to a workout alone.

Without a sense of independence and autonomy, it is impossible to experience the joy of a date and reflect on how much you value every hour you spend together.

3. Tune in to love

Our brain works in a special way. He needs the unity of actions, words and thoughts. Therefore, when you do nothing to strengthen your relationship, your brain builds a logical chain: "Since I am not doing anything for the sake of the relationship, then I am not interested in them."

But the converse is also true. If you feel the desire gradually fade away, readjust your thoughts as follows: "I put so much effort into our love, then my partner is worth it!"

There are two ways to get the brain to work this way. The first way is to change the attitude towards the actions of a loved one, the second is to continue flirting.

When you look at your life with optimism, the brain learns to perceive all events in a positive way. The consistent effect of positive evaluations and gratitude for everything you have affects your appreciation of your own life. The same can be said for your relationship. Consider the best intentions in each of your partner's actions.

Here are some examples of how the perception of a partner depends on your position.

Not right	Right
She constantly walks at home in stretched sweatpants and does not try to look her best.	She trusts me so much that she is not afraid to appear like this.
She constantly embarrasses me. Begins to tell everyone about my work and makes me support the topic	She is so proud of my accomplishments that she wants to tell everyone about it. And so that I don't look like a braggart, she starts a conversation herself. She loves me so much!
Disgusting. He cut his nails and left them on the table	It's great that after so many years he tries to look well-groomed and neat

The more you look at all the actions of your partner through the prism of love, the more you will find confirmation of reciprocity.

Regarding the second point: if you flirt with your partner, as in the first months of your relationship, most of the difficulties associated with getting used to each other will disappear by itself.

Surprise your partner. Give a small gift. Add romance. Have an evening for just two.

Flirt like your relationship has just begun. And since the brain has a tendency to bring thoughts and actions to a common denominator, with every beautiful gesture you will fall in love with your partner again and again.

4. Think about what you can lose

Everything in our life ends sooner or later. People are mortal. Your relationship will inevitably end.

But there is good news as well.

How would you look at your partner at the last meeting? What would you do if you knew this was your last weekend? Would you talk about love more often? Would you behave softer, more tender, more honest in relation to your loved one?

Remember from time to time that it’s over. This will help you show your best side and be an ideal partner.

By the way, when you realize that everything is going away, it is much easier to think about what beautiful dimples on the lower back of your lover's, and not about the fact that she has grown fat. Focus on what you love about your partner. The choice is always yours, and it is easier and more enjoyable than it seems.

5. Direct all your sexual energy towards your partner

Sexual energy is a limited resource. If you squander her while watching porn, admire other people too much, or masturbate several times a day, giving your partner miserable leftovers of energy, you will both lose.

Imagine that sexual energy flows through your body like water, and you can regulate the flow. The more energy you direct towards your loved one, the easier it is to repeat it. As the river bed gets deeper during the flood, so it will be easier for you to love your partner. Remember what was said about the peculiarities of the brain: your thoughts and actions will become one.

There is nothing wrong with masturbation and porn. If you use them in bed with a partner. And the best thing is to take home photos and videos, and for this it is not necessary to maintain a relationship at a distance. The brain quickly adapts to everything you do. So, if you can control the outcome, why not get aroused by looking at your loved one instead of a stranger on a computer screen?

Want to keep the passion? It all depends on your decision. Love, like happiness, is the result of choice, the work of your thoughts. Admire your partner like on a first date. And filter out anything that might annoy you. You should look at your beloved through rose-colored glasses, not through a magnifying glass.