Why the new "Cinderella" is not worth wasting time

On September 3, a new film adaptation of the fairy tale "Cinderella" from the not-too-famous director Kay Cannon was released on the Amazon Prime streaming service. Initially, two facts attracted all the attention to the picture. Firstly, they promised to make the plot more modern and show the main character as a strong and independent girl. And secondly, the authors have selected an unusual cast. The main role was played by singer Camila Cabello, who became famous after participating in The X Factor. And the famous actor and showman Billy Porter starred in the image of the fairy godmother. Moreover, his character was made gender neutral.

Unfortunately, all the hype around the film turned out to be hollow. The new Cinderella is the most boring and nondescript musical imaginable. Feminist slogans are not supported by any actions, and the actors are not allowed to play. But the worst thing is that the songs are not remembered at all.

Clumsy plot

The modest girl Ella, nicknamed Cinderella (in the original Ella and Cinderella are consonant), lives with an evil stepmother and two mischievous sisters who use the heroine as a servant. Meanwhile, the ruler of the kingdom is looking for a bride for his son, Prince Robert, but he rejects all candidates. In a word, the plot of the film completely copies the plot of the fairy tale. Perhaps, the setting combines the ambience of the Middle Ages with modern elements.

But then there are significant differences. In her free time from housework, Cinderella comes up with and sews unusual dresses. Even the girl tries to get to the ball not for the sake of the opportunity to get married, but dreaming of showing her talent as a designer. And the prince does not want to be the heir of the old order. Moreover, his sister Gwendoline is better suited to governing the state.

The original plot of "Cinderella" is far from modern values and feminist slogans. So when making a film adaptation, you should either leave the original basis, or completely rewrite the story. The first was already done by Disney studio in 2015, having released a beautiful film with Lily James. The second is still the same Disney is doing now, creating an adaptation of Sneakerella (can be translated as "Sneaker"), where the heroine will be replaced by a black guy selling sneakers. Sony and Fulwell 73, who made the film for Amazon, opted for half measures. And it turns the script into a meaningless set of slogans.

On the one hand, Cinderella literally from the first appearance declares that she will be independent and become famous without any support. On the other hand, someone helps her all the time. The heroine cannot sell the dress - the prince comes and pays three prices. The girl obediently agrees not to go to the ball when her stepmother forbids her - the fairy godmother appears and organizes everything. Even the future employer herself takes the initiative, while Cinderella simply mutters something in response. And she runs away from the ball thanks to the same Robert.

Yes, Cinderella is talented (according to the plot, you shouldn't seriously disassemble the design of the dresses in the musical). But she constantly just goes with the flow, waiting for someone to participate in her fate. It is strange to make such a heroine a conduit for statements about independence.

But it is on this topic that the whole plot is tied. And they serve it in the most ridiculous way. In short, all the men in this story are mumbled, and the women are purposeful and businesslike. Unless the prince decides to the finale that he should not follow his father's lead, but live in pleasure. Freedom, equality are mentioned every minute, and that difficulties only harden.

For a more complete disclosure of the idea, they even introduce Princess Gwendolyn. Its main task is to show how the patriarchal order oppresses women. It is also needed for the final twist, which is obvious after the first third of the film. Although the heroine will also have to first wait for the king's approval.

And even Cinderella's stepmother is transformed from a grotesque villain into an ordinary toxic lady, no stranger to good emotions. A small spoiler: in the finale, it turns out that it was the man who spoiled her attitude towards life.

Perhaps such an approach might have seemed relevant 20 years ago. But now the banal statements about girl power can hardly surprise anyone. And “Cinderella” completely fails all the evidence of loud words at least by some deed.

Rough songs and silly jokes

Cinema musicals are a very conventional and theatrical genre. These films often do not shine with the complexity of the plot: the characters are dressed up in colorful costumes and revealed through songs and dances.

But this approach has its advantages as well. Even if the script turns out to be banal and boring, the tape has a chance to become popular due to its bright soundtrack. That is why many fans were ready to forgive "Cats" for almost everything, except for the badly reworked compositions. And that's why everyone fell in love with Hamilton: the conditional The Room Where It Happens is simply impossible to get out of your head.

The original songs for "Cinderella" were written by Camila Cabello herself and several other authors. But at some moments there is a feeling that everything was invented by the neural network. Each text contains the necessary set of words corresponding to the topic: they necessarily talk about freedom, aspirations and talent. Modern recitative verses turn into drawn out Disney choruses. However, all the compositions sound the same and are not remembered at all.

There is also another component: cover versions of famous songs included in the plot. But even here "Cinderella" is very far from any "Moulin Rouge". Suffice it to recall how in the latter the lyrical Roxanne from Briton Sting was turned into a hysterical Argentine tango with vocals imitating Tom Waits.

In the new fairy tale, the tracks of Madonna or Freddie Mercury are shifted to polyphony and dance rhythms typical for musicals, but almost nothing is added to them. The brightest is the mashup of the rhythm-and-blues What a Man and the cello version of the Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes.

They try to dilute not very interesting music with humor. And it was this part of the film that turned out to be as terrible as possible. The most successful joke will be made by Billy Porter, and it will be dedicated to women's shoes.

Where this ridiculous comedy came from, one can guess. James Corden will appear in the frame, who with unenviable regularity will issue gags related, for example, to urination. It was this TV presenter who authored the idea for the musical. Probably, he also came up with some jokes. Just what may seem funny in the evening show, in the film, causes Spanish shame.

Good actors who are not allowed to reveal themselves

Even before the premiere, the most discussed was the choice of leading actors. Camila Cabello, a Cuban-American woman, caused a lot of doubts, and often found fault with her nationality and skin color. But in reality, it was more worth worrying about her lack of film experience.

And, of course, the outrageous Billy Porter provoked a maximum of controversy. Although there are many questions to these claims: as if in the Soviet "Mary Poppins, goodbye" there was no Oleg Tabakov with obvious stubble in the role of Miss Andrews.

However, after watching it, we can say: it is Cinderella and the fairy that are the brightest thing in the film. More precisely, they could have revealed themselves perfectly, if not for the mediocrity of the writers and directors.

In those moments when Cabello is given not only vocal numbers (although she sings excellently), but also dramatic or humorous scenes, the actress flourishes. One of the episodes where she sits on the monument is really funny.

But there is always a feeling that the creators of "Cinderella" seem to be afraid to give too much time to the title heroine. Attention is constantly diverted, for example, to Pierce Brosnan, awkwardly grimacing in the image of a king. The only good joke associated with this hero is about his terrible vocals. This will surely cause not the most pleasant flashbacks from the films of the Mamma Mia series among fans!

Porter is given only 10 minutes, which the actor, fortunately, makes the most of. His general scene with Cinderella looks like a separate film, deconstructing all the laws of fairy tales and musicals. The fairy gives out a cool funky song and some jokes. But most of the text was written to the hero by the same neural network. He will simply repeat to the girl: "You can handle it" - and disappear forever.

The new Cinderella is the most unfortunate and even awkward film. Unfortunately, the authors got bogged down in trying to add social sayings to the tale, taking a completely inappropriate original for this. Even worse, it was the music and humor that failed in the film.

However, the appearance of such a weak film is somewhat useful. At a minimum, this proves that no one will praise the picture just for the presence of relevant topics in it: Western critics are already spreading Cinderella with might and main. Now it makes no sense to simply declare feminism and independence, you need to somehow fit ideas into the plot and confirm the words of the heroes with actions. Hopefully, other directors and writers will take this into account.