7 qualities of an emigrant that will make him come back

On the one hand, what could be simpler: saved up money, learned the language, packed your bags - and now you are in another country. On the other hand, many do just that, and then they are disappointed and come back. Studies show that there are certain psychological barriers. According to them, one can predict even before moving that a person will be unhappy in another country, will not be able to adapt and will come back.

1. High level of expectations from a new life

Psychologists and sociologists believe that the more high expectations a potential emigrant has, the more likely it is to predict that he will not be able to adapt after moving.

Understandably, most people do not expect to find an amazing, financially secure, adventurous life in a new country when they step out of the airport right away. But many are characterized by a certain optimism, which affects the level of training.

This is especially often associated with knowledge of languages. It is believed that the language is easier to learn during full immersion in the language environment. The future emigrant learns the language a little, hoping to improve it on the spot. In reality, it turns out that constant minor everyday problems due to a lack of understanding of what they are telling you and the inability to answer, gradually erode self-confidence and force you to reduce contacts with locals. And as studies show, the lack of communication with the inhabitants of a new country is especially bad for the level of joy in life.

2. Lack of tolerance for everything new and incomprehensible

Tolerance is the ability to understand and accept a person or situation that is different from you. After the move, this personality trait becomes one of the most essential.

At first, the emigrant will constantly encounter people of a different appearance, race, nationality or sexual behavior.

A sharp reaction, which could be acceptable in Russia and supported by jokes, in a new country can lead to communication problems, dismissal from work, or even criminal prosecution.

People who are incapable of accepting others without judgment often treat themselves as harshly. An emigrant who scolds himself for every mistake is unlikely to be able to stay in a state of psychological comfort for a long time in a new country, where he will have to re-learn to communicate and behave in society.

In addition, intolerant people are often authoritarian, afraid to show emotions and take them out on other people, they are biased and stereotyped. And in a state of severe stress after the move, these qualities only increase and do not contribute to adaptation at all.

3. Doubts about the decision to move

Social psychologists have developed a theory: if a person does not doubt his decision to emigrate, then he adapts much faster and more successfully. People who come temporarily - to study, work, or just as tourists - can begin their adaptation to a new country, but they will never finish it, because they have no incentive to do so. An emigrant who has moved to the country for a very long time or forever, but doubts at the same time, will spend energy on hesitation, instead of accepting the current situation and starting to live.

4. Failure to take responsibility for your actions

People who refuse to take responsibility for their actions are sure that everything that happens to them is the result of external forces. Everything is often bad with them, because they are unlucky, the weather is bad, officials are corrupt, neighbors are noisy, the new generation is not the same, emigrants are taking jobs, and so on.

Psychologists call this attitude toward life an external locus of control.

People with opposite positions have an internal locus of control. They believe that their future depends only on them, and they often blame themselves for their failures than others.

Research conducted in 1976 in the United States on Chinese expatriates suggests that people with an external locus of control are less adaptable than those who are responsible for themselves. And also such people are more prone to depression and various psychosomatic illnesses.

5. Old age

A lot of research has been done on this topic. They do not fully confirm, but also do not refute, the fact that old age affects the success of adaptation.

It is often more difficult for older people to master foreign languages, it is more difficult for them to make new acquaintances, revise their life habits and find a new circle of friends. But there are a lot of those who were still able to adapt in old age. Perhaps the point here is a serious level of motivation: a desire to live closer to children, or, for example, to fulfill a dream and spend old age on the seashore.

6. Unwillingness to learn and learn something new

Research has shown that people who have college degrees and continue to study as adults experience less stress from moving than those who dislike learning. Given how much different information is processed after getting to know a new country, the result of these studies is fairly easy to explain.

7. Reluctance to move

This point applies to those for whom the move was a forced process. Sometimes these are spouses, children and parents, those who had to leave (refugees, people who are fleeing persecution), as well as those who had to make the decision to move quickly and without preparation.

Such people most often are not able to fully adapt at all, because this requires an inner will and motivation to do it. If people have moved because their family members want to, or because they are forced by the political or economic situation, then the culture shock can be harder for them than for others.

The human qualities and emotions listed here do not necessarily serve as strict barriers to emigration. They only say that it will be much more difficult for such people to adapt and start a new life.

It may be worthwhile to work out each of the problems in yourself in advance:

learn more about the new country to lower expectations;
consult a psychologist to remove doubts about the decision to move;
increase tolerance for yourself and others;
learn to take responsibility for yourself.

Older people may well learn and adapt, it is a matter of strong motivation and will.

The only reason that can be unequivocally called an insurmountable obstacle to emigration is the unwillingness to move. Here you can only revise your priorities and come back.