Should a man be firm and keep his feelings in himself?

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Blogger Charlie Scaturro has written candidly about the modern take on masculinity. The author ponders why men want to appear strong and what this can lead to. We suggest that you familiarize yourself with his thoughts.

I remember the moment when I first lifted a barbell weighing 100 kilograms while lying down. Not much for serious weightlifters and most professional athletes, but it was a triumph for me. This weight was everything to me, because these 100 kilograms seemed to be a symbol of masculinity. He was everything, because strength in our culture is often considered the most desirable characteristic a man can possess.

I have been going to the gym regularly for almost 10 years and have not thought for a long time why I need it. But in trying to know myself, I still began to reflect on the true reason. And I came to the conclusion that I am doing it not for health and not because of nothing to do. I go to the gym just because it is masculine. Because after years of training, I can do 50 push-ups and 25 pull-ups in one set.

I know this does not make me strong and does not characterize me in any way as a person, I do not try to brag and do not hope to impress anyone. It really doesn't matter how many times I pull up or how much weight I lift. The bottom line is that in this way we hide our weaknesses from outsiders and hide them from ourselves. This is our escape from reality.

The whole problem is in the short-sighted and ignorant notions that anxiety and depression are unusual for a real man.

It is these stereotypes that force me to go to the gym to appear strong on the outside, even if I don't feel so strong on the inside.

It's hard for me to describe masculinity in a few sentences. It is much easier to name what it is not. Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, a sense of the meaninglessness of life, and a desire to give up are not courageous.

It is believed that a real man is more inherent in rage. He must suppress anxiety and panic and not be a smear. Do action heroes suffer from panic attacks before they save everyone? Hell no. They kick ass rivals and conquer women.

Looking at masculinity in such a shortsighted and ignorant context, a man can experience anything but depression or anxiety.

In high school, I had a coach who said that depression was contrived. According to him, she cannot be the reason for the lack of appetite or unwillingness to get out of bed. “Just get up and eat your damn sandwich. It's not that difficult,”he would say to the heartbroken man. This is an ignorant and destructive attitude towards depression, but this is how it is still treated today.

Although a lot is changing, boys and young boys still hear about depression, anxiety and other similar conditions in a destructive and ignorant way. Therefore, trying to avoid everything opposite to masculinity and strength can lead to suffering. After all, we refuse to talk about our weaknesses and accept help just because it is not considered the norm for a man.

In this context, masculinity becomes synonymous with strength. But it seems to me that these two concepts can be separated. I think the problem is not even the emphasis on the fact that a man should be strong. The problem is our misunderstanding of weakness and strength. The problem is the ignorant and shortsighted view of masculinity.