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2023 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 06:26
The real causes of the problem are not overweight or stooped back. It's much more complicated.
This article is part of the "" project. In it we talk about relationships with ourselves and others. If the topic is close to you, share your story or opinion in the comments. Will wait!
Where does the hatred for your body come from?
According to polls, 70% of women and 63% of men in Russia are ashamed of their appearance. This discontent can be of varying degrees. Someone generally likes himself, but in moments of sadness he would not mind having a smaller nose and longer legs. And someone despairs every time they look in the mirror, refuses to be photographed and is subject to constant panic because of the inconsistency of their appearance with ideals.
The extreme degree of hatred for your body is called body dysmorphic disorder. It is a dangerous mental disorder that interferes with a fulfilling life and is associated with a high risk of suicide. About 80% of people with body dysmorphic disorder admit that they have had suicidal thoughts. A quarter of them tried to die.
It can be assumed that the media are to blame for everything, which too actively and categorically broadcast constantly changing standards of beauty. This is true, but only partially. Psychologists agree that hatred of the body is, in a sense, self-hatred. Conflict with your image is always indicative of traumatic relationships with significant people, such as parents.
When a child is born, he has no idea about himself and his appearance. He begins to perceive this through his parents, depending on what they broadcast to him.
Kristina Kostikova psychologist
A number of circumstances can lead to a negative perception of the body.
Unhealthy family environment
The child sees and feels the atmosphere at home. If the relationship is tense, but the reason is not explained to him or he is accused of himself, then confidence, self-love is destroyed. Self-esteem, a healthy perception of oneself inevitably suffers.
Violent attempts to improve a child's appearance
The relationship with the body is also influenced by tactless remarks from parents or comparison of a child's appearance with someone else's. In their harmless, in their opinion, advice to lose weight or pump up is hidden reproach and rejection. They are perceived by the addressee as his own inferiority and give rise to him not a desire to change, but anger and self-dislike.
Lack of emotional support as you grow up
Anger is an emotion that everyone experiences. If the expression of this feeling was forbidden in the family, the parents suppressed the child's aggression, and did not try to understand him and help him, then he will direct anger at himself and his body.
The reason for this aggression is not in the person himself, but somewhere outside, but there it is impossible to express it. And the illusion arises that you are your own enemy and you need to fight with yourself. While it is important to analyze your feelings and find their true reason, and then learn to recognize them and express them appropriately.
The attitude of parents to their body
It is important how adults perceive their body: how much they care about it, how they look after it. If the child sees the parent's dissatisfaction with his appearance, then he himself begins to look for flaws in himself - and finds.
How to change your attitude towards the body
Face the problem face to face
Hatred of the body usually constantly looms in the background, because there are so many mirrored surfaces, advertising posters and other triggers around that make you remember your own imperfection. As a result, a person gets so used to such thoughts that he does not even realize how much time and energy he spends on self-flagellation.
To learn to live in your body, you first need to see what exactly prevents you from doing this. Each person will have their own unique reasons. It is important to find them and study them in detail.
A bad attitude towards yourself is not a sentence. Learn to analyze your emotions and feelings, find their true causes and ways to express themselves sustainably, rather than suppress them. It is important to think about why this hatred is, what you are really unhappy with. It may seem to you that you hate your body, although in truth you need attention, love, warmth and recognition.
Keep in mind: if we are talking about dysmorphophobia, a specialist should diagnose and treat it. The main way to cope with the problem is antidepressants, which are prescribed by a psychotherapist.
Treat your body with gratitude
It is the body that connects a person with the world around him. There will be no him, there will be no you either. Psychologist Natalya Kuznetsova advises to remember this and write at least 10 points, for which you are grateful to your physical shell. These can be simple things like eating, sleeping, walking, swimming, sunbathing.
Try not to reject the body, but to treat it as your own home, for which you can do something good, not destructive. Remember that you are the owner of your body and only you can decide how to take care of it, how to change and improve it. Criticism narrows the horizons, and gratitude, on the contrary, allows us to take a broader look at the world around us.
Natalia Kuznetsova family psychologist
Make contact with your body
You perceive the body as your enemy, and it is your friend and ally. But now you have lost contact with him. Try listening to yourself several times a day to understand how you feel, what you feel, what your body needs, what you think. In the first stages, you can do this literally by the alarm clock. This simple exercise can help you develop a habit of hearing yourself and connecting with your body.
Begin an affair with yourself
Treat yourself as you would treat your beloved. Compliment yourself, praise yourself, and avoid making comparisons to others. Take active care of your body: take care of your health, establish a diet, get enough sleep, rest. Stop interacting with toxic people who criticize and devalue. No matter how close they are, communication with them only hurts.
Eventually, a habit of treating yourself well will form. However, this will require active practice for at least three months.
This requires moral effort, which sometimes is nowhere to be found. Therefore, the support of the environment is very important here. There must be people around you who are capable of empathy who will cheer you up during your transformation. If there are no such people, a psychologist will help.
Natalia Koroteeva psychologist
Think about how to improve your life
People who hate their bodies often think that if their appearance were different, then their existence would be different. If the biceps were bigger and the waist was narrower, then you wouldn't have to work at a boring job and everything would be fine in your personal life. But this is an illusion. To change life, you need to change it.