Table of contents:
- Why Orgasm Comes Too Fast
- What to do in order not to worry in vain
- What to do before sex
- What to do during sex
- What you shouldn't do to slow down your orgasm
2023 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 06:26
Sometimes it's enough just to talk to your partner.
Why Orgasm Comes Too Fast
There are different reasons. What causes premature ejaculation? / WebMD:
- Irregular sex. If excitement has accumulated, discharge may occur earlier than usual.
- Strong delight from the partner.
- Individual characteristics. It takes a lot of movement and time for someone to reach orgasm. For others, a few minutes and mild stimulation are enough.
- Health Problems What is premature ejaculation? / Webmd.
What to do in order not to worry in vain
Understand that there is no norm
Sometimes a man just thinks that orgasm comes too quickly. In fact, everything is in order.
One of the most recent major studies showed M. D. Waldinger, P. Quinn, M. Dilleen, et al. A multinational population survey of intravaginal ejaculation latency time / Journal of Sexual Medicine, that in different couples, the duration of sex - from penetration to male orgasm - varied from 30 seconds to 45 minutes. What kind of norm can we talk about here?
Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller suggests J. J. Lehmiller. Why the new diagnostic guidelines for premature ejaculation are a step backwards not fixed at all on a timeline.
Justin Lemiller Kinsey Research Fellow, researcher, author of books and articles on sex
Ejaculation should not be considered premature on the basis of the speed of reaching orgasm alone. Moreover, setting a minimum rate for the duration of sex can cause anxiety and problems for couples who are happy with their sex lives.
On premature ejaculation T. Bakare, R. A. Ghayda. Orgasmic Dysfunction / Encyclopedia of Reproduction is worth talking only if sex lasts less than one minute, the partners are not enjoying themselves, and this pattern repeats itself regularly.
Don't overestimate orgasm
In modern sexual culture, orgasm plays a key role. It is expected as an obligatory element of the program, which most often means the end of sex. In fact, no one bothers you to continue using your hands, lips, sex toys.
Stop believing the myths about sex
Sex is a constant test of compliance with the mythical standards of a "real man." Such lists usually include a stone erection that does not decrease for hours, an XXL size penis, the ability to perform frictions for at least an hour in a row. All of these things look good in porn, but in reality they are not at all necessary, and often even painful for partners.
Talk to your partner
It is important not only the question "how long not to finish?", But also "for what?". If the task is to give pleasure to a woman, then it is better to ask what she wants, what is missing. Do long frictions bring pleasure to you and your partner, or do they only provoke chafing and fatigue? The main thing is that the participants should be pleased.
Justin Lemiller is the author of books and articles on sex
In good sex, you don't have to achieve anything. It is enough just to relax and enjoy the process, regardless of whether there are orgasms or not.
See a doctor
Sometimes premature ejaculation is a consequence of hormonal disruptions, inflammation and other physiological problems that can be solved with the help of medicine. If you regularly cum in less than a minute, cannot delay orgasm, are not satisfied with the quality of sex, then you should contact a urologist.
What to do before sex
Try to masturbate for longer
Many men, during masturbation, try to reach orgasm as quickly as possible (perhaps this habit remained from adolescence, when they had to rush so as not to catch the eyes of their parents). But when you get into the habit of hurrying to cum, it also extends to sex.
To change the course of events, you need to delay the ending as much as possible. Think about how long you want to hang out with your partner, and try to masturbate the same amount.
Give up porn for a while
Pornography is part of a healthy sex life, but many people don't think about how it is used to masturbate. Porn makes it difficult to feel connected to your body, because all the attention is focused on the screen. As a result, it is difficult to understand at what stage of the process you are, to what level arousal has reached. And the orgasm comes unexpectedly.
To learn to understand yourself, try masturbating without porn.
Find the point of no return
When you strive for orgasm, most likely you are not paying attention to what is happening in the body at the moment before it. It is called the point of no return.
If you don't learn to recognize the point of no return, orgasm will catch you off guard when having sex with a partner.
Change the degree of arousal while masturbating
If you are used to expecting a quick effect from masturbation, then most likely you consistently bring yourself to orgasm. And about the same you act during sex.
To make a difference, sexologist Vanessa Marin suggests V. Marin. How men can last longer during sex use teasing techniques in masturbation.
Vanessa Marin psychotherapist, sexologist
Imagine getting aroused on a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is orgasm and 1 is almost no arousal. Bring arousal to 6, then go back to 3, go up to 7, go down to 5, get to 6 and 2. After that, increase the arousal again, now to 8. Continue changing the intensity.
It is not necessary to use this particular order, the main thing is to learn how to control the process.
Do Kegel exercises
Kegel exercises will help train the muscles of the pelvic floor, in particular the one that provides a more stable and long-lasting erection.
Masturbate right before sex
Men are practically incapable of multiple orgasms, at least for those accompanied by ejaculation. So feel free to use this feature of your body.
What to do during sex
Use condoms and lubricants
Even a regular condom can slow down orgasm. If you use anal (they are usually denser) or prolonging (there is lidocaine in the composition), the effect will be more noticeable.
You can also add a long lasting lubricant to the inside of the condom. Just make sure the lubricant you choose is not hazardous to latex first.
Focus on your partner's pleasure
You can, of course, think about something subjectively terrible: old lady's trousers, accidents, rotten eggs - or watch TV, or count in your mind. But it is much more useful to fix, analyze, memorize the partner's reactions. This will distract you from your own orgasm and help you become a super lover.
Slow and deep breathing helps to calm down, relieve anxiety, and slow down. This, in turn, allows you to gain control over the body and delay orgasm.
- Alternate degrees of arousal in the same way as when masturbating.
- Change the speed of your movements. For example, after two fast frictions, do five slow ones. Try to keep the rhythm as long as possible.
- Feel free to slow down if you feel that there is no other way.
- Change the depth and sharpness of frictions.
Intense movement brings orgasm closer. When you feel that the arousal is too much, just stop stimulating the penis. During a pause, caress your partner with your hands and tongue.
Use fingers, tongue and sex toys
Sex is not only about frictions, for many practices a penis is not required. Other resources of the body can be used: fingers, tongue, lips. Well, or connect sex toys.
What you shouldn't do to slow down your orgasm
Anxiety only brings orgasm closer. To avoid the vicious circle, learn to manage your feelings. Through meditation, for example.
Use prolonged ointments and sprays
In the condom, the anesthetic is inside, and there is very little of it. With ointments and sprays, everything is different. They can cause temporary loss of sensitivity, including in the partner. As a result, a woman can get hurt, which at first she will not even notice. In addition, oily-based ointments damage condoms.
Use folk methods
Some sites suggest rubbing the genitals with peppermint juice, eating currant leaves, and tying the penis with a string. Do not do like this. The effectiveness of these methods has not been proven, but it is quite possible to harm yourself.
Take medication without consulting a doctor
Self-medication is harmful. If you really want to try medication, see a urologist or psychotherapist who specializes in sex problems. Your doctor may prescribe an antidepressant from the group of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. One of the effects of these remedies is to slow down orgasm.
First, because of alcohol, an erection can disappear altogether. And secondly, alcohol, even if it helps one-time, will not fix the problem and, possibly, add new ones.
Remember: sex should not turn into hard labor, where the main task is to endure and not finish. The main thing is pleasure. When sex is not limited to technical characteristics such as the length of intercourse, it becomes the way we all love it: creative, exciting, varied.