How to recognize and defend against an energy vampire

Who is an energy vampire

Modern vampires have nothing to do with mysticism. This is a characteristic of people who are trying to use your emotions for their own good. Their methods are well thought out, and therefore the energy vampire is not so easy to spot.

The most charming person who gives you positive emotions can take them a hundredfold.

Rational advice is often not perceived by such people. They also constantly criticize everything, devalue our achievements, do not respect other people's boundaries.

How to recognize an energy vampire

There are several signs by which an energy vampire can be recognized in advance. You should not give up friendship with a person if you notice one item from this list in his behavior. But if more than three points coincide, then this is a reason to be wary and take a closer look at your comrade.

1. Seeks pity

One of the clear signs and a dangerous trap. We easily fall into the net of the energy vampire when we do him a favor. There is always something to be sorry for.

After an act of mercy, we feel like heroes, saviors, we feel a surge of pride. Behind these positive emotions, we do not notice how much attention has been paid to a person, how much attention has been paid to a person, his complaints have begun to cross all reasonable boundaries, and the demands to be sorry have become more persistent and dangerous.

2. Considers everyone around him to blame for his troubles

Vampires are always surrounded by solid villains: a cruel mother, a grumpy wife, a mercantile mistress, stupid children and a tyrant boss. For these people, everyone around them is to blame for their troubles, except for themselves.

Any inaccurate word, and you already become the enemy. The vampire constantly creates feelings of guilt among friends and interlocutors. If you feel guilt only from the memory of a person, then you have a vampire.

Elizaveta Efremova psychologist, expert of the Russian School of Management on personal effectiveness

A social contract is an exchange of resources between people. When a person revels in self-pity instead of asking for a raise or quitting, they want to be listened to. Such interaction can be convenient for both parties.

3. Provokes quarrels and fights

Negative attention is also attention. The energetic vampire is happy to use this rule in life. To provoke quarrels, to be emotionally offended, to wave fists at the slightest pretext is about him.

4. Likes to weave intrigues

The vampire is especially pleased with gossip and quarrels in any team. Rubbing into the confidence of everyone, he subtly senses weak points and pulls the strings so that the maximum number of people quarrels over the most dramatic reasons.

Manipulating the resentment of some and seeking pity from others, a vampire is able to ruin a relationship even in a friendly company.

5. Strikes at the most unexpected moment

The exchange of energy does not happen instantly: the energy vampire feeds on it during complaints, attention, quarrels, which he skillfully orchestrated. But there are situations that will help such a person to get enough of a sense of their own superiority for a long time. The less you wait for a trick, the stronger your frustration and energy exchange will be.

6. Goes to extremes

An indirect sign by which it is easy to recognize an energy vampire: he is prone to extremes. Such people are engaged in extreme sports, get married on the second day after meeting and break ties with loved ones after a tiny quarrel, because they lack their own emotions.

How to protect yourself from an energy vampire

The first step is to recognize it. But there are a few more tips that will not save you from virtuoso vampirism, but will save your nerves and strength, even if you are already caught:

Learn to say no. Gently refuse to do what you don't like after the first request that you find it difficult to fulfill.
Defend boundaries. You are an adult, accomplished person. No one can tell you that you have done something wrong or that you have a bad temper.
Track bright emotional outbursts. Even joyful ones. In the early stages, vampires feed you positive experiences to get you attached. This is how they shatter your emotional swing.
Don't believe the gossip. Well-concocted rumors sound quite plausible, but think about why the person is telling you all this and how he will benefit from your quarrel with the object of gossip.
Rely only on yourself. Getting help and support from loved ones is priceless. But it's always worth having a backup plan in case your friend isn't who he claims to be.