36 questions to help you get closer to your partner

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

This questionnaire was designed for a scientific experiment that ended up with a wedding.

A few years ago, the New York Times published an article "" (To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This). Mandy Len Cutron, author of the article, refers to research by Arthur Aron at Stony Brook University.

As is often the case, when psychological research gets into the media, it loses some nuance. The real goal of the 36-question test was not to help people fall in love, but to bring them closer together.

In a study by Arthur Aaron, college students were asked to play a game in which they read instructions on 36 cards, divided into three sections, and followed them. They were given 15 minutes for each series of questions, but they did not have to answer all 12 questions in each part. In addition, not everyone had enough of a partner of the opposite sex: there were more girls in the experiment.

The only evidence of at least some influence of these questions on the emergence of love was the fact that a month later a couple of participants in the experiment, who did not know before, got married.

Dr. Elaine Aron, these questions can just as well be used to bond with friends. Answer them together and your intimacy will increase from question to question. Remember that you don't have to answer every question, but the more you reveal, the closer you will get.

1. If you could invite absolutely anyone, who would you invite to dinner?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what area?

3. Before you call, do you think about what you will say? Why?

4. What does “perfect day” mean to you?

5. When was the last time you sang for yourself? And for someone else?

6. If you could live to be 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the past 60 years, which would you choose?

7. Do you have an idea or a hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things in which you think you and your partner are similar.

9. What are you most grateful for in life?

10. If you could change something about the way you were raised, what would you change?

11. In four minutes, tell your partner your life story in as much detail as you can.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow morning and receive any quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell the truth about you, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you ask?

14. Is there something that you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why aren't you still doing it?

15. What is the greatest achievement of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your dearest memory?

18. What is your worst memory?

19. If you knew that you were going to die soon, what would you change in your life? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What role does love and affection play in your life?

22. What are five positive qualities of your partner?

23. How warm and friendly is your family? Do you feel like your childhood was happier than other people?

24. What is your relationship with your mother?

25. Come up with three truthful statements that begin with "we." For example: "We both feel in this room …"

26. Complete the sentence: "I wish I had someone to share with …"

27. Share something you think your partner should know about you.

28. Tell us what you like about your partner. Be honest, it must be something that you wouldn't say to a stranger.

29. Share an embarrassing story from your life.

30. When was the last time you cried in front of another person? And alone?

31. Tell your partner what you like about him already.

32. Is there anything too serious to be joked about? If so, what is it?

33. Imagine that you are dying and you cannot talk to anyone. What untold words would you most regret? Why haven't you said them yet?

34. Your house is on fire, and after you have saved all family members and pets, you have the opportunity to save one of the things, but only one. What will it be? Why?

35. Which family member will upset you the most? Why?

36. Share your problem and ask your partner how they would solve it. Let him share his problem in the same way and listen to your way of solving it.

Answer these questions together or, if you don't have a partner or friend with whom you want to get closer, ask yourself. In the first case, it will help you get closer, in the second, it will open up new facets of your personality.