How to write a strong and exciting story: an excerpt from Lyudmila Sarycheva's book "Make way for drama"

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

About a structure that will not allow the reader to close the article until he has read it in its entirety.

Bombora publishes Make Place to Drama, a guide to creating strong copy for editors, journalists and copywriters. Lyudmila Sarycheva, editor-in-chief of Dela Modulbank, co-author of Write, Reduce and New Rules of Business Correspondence, tells how to grab and hold the reader's attention, even if you are writing on a boring topic. With permission from Lifehacker Publishing, he publishes the chapter "Throughout history".

The story-driven structure assumes that there are several stories in the narrative, and one of them is the leading one, it runs through the entire text. And since it is the strongest, you cannot just give it to the reader, the reader must, as if, deserve it.

This structure is strong and exciting. In a structure with an end-to-end history, the main thing is not the structure, but high-quality, deep material:

• key story with prescribed heroes,
• additional stories,
• expert comments,
• statistics,
• facts,
• historical reference.

If there is no such material, then there will be nothing to fit into the structure. Expert comments should describe the problem from different angles, stories from people from different communities, facts from reliable sources, and a key story with strong, interesting characters.

In a story-driven structure, it is assumed that the article has a story that holds the story together and is handed out to the reader piece by piece. And this story does not let you leave the article until the reader reads it in its entirety, because he is interested in the ending. To understand how this works, we'll take a look at the example I already mentioned. This is a Washington Post article by Gene Weigarten about children killed in hot cars.

This material is difficult to disassemble due to the tragic theme. And I'm not sure I chose it correctly for analysis in my book. There is a risk that you may want to discuss it not in terms of editing and structure, but in terms of parenting and childcare. And yet I'll take a chance, because it's brilliant material and powerful writing. So let's get started.

Introduction. A sketch from the court: how the defendant Miles Harrison looks and behaves, his wife is nervous, eyewitnesses cry when they remember in what state they found him on the day of the tragedy.

The story is revealed: the defendant was a conscientious businessman and a caring father until that fateful day. He had a difficult day at work, he answered a million calls and was sure that he had sent the child to kindergarten, but this did not happen. The child stayed in the car in the parking lot on a hot day.

The trial ended and two women came out of the building. They have nothing to do with the case, but they, like the defendant, killed their children, leaving them in the car due to a monstrous coincidence.

This sketch in the introduction is an exposition to start the story, and here a conflict ensues: the defendant's pain and guilt against a tragedy that is already impossible to fix and incredibly difficult to survive.

The main part, fact. In every case, when a child dies in a car, the circumstances are the same: a loving parent who has a hard day, he is distracted, nervous and forgets that he is sitting in the back

child. This happens 15 to 25 times a year.

This is where the conflict develops. This fact shows that the case with the defendant is not an isolated one, here are the statistics. And here the author clearly gives us the main idea: "Everyone can forget a child." Now this idea needs to be proved: through stories, factual material, comments of specialists.

Here's what happens next.

The escalation of the conflict, confirmation of the main idea. The author writes: “It turns out that the rich do it. Both the poor and the middle class. Then he lists who had such a tragedy over the past ten years: an accountant, a priest, a nurse, a policeman.

At this point, the skeptical reader does not yet begin to doubt, but he already sees that this problem is broader than he imagined.

The culmination of the conflict. "Last time it happened three times on the same day."

Details of the incidents. One father had an alarm, but he turned it off. One mother came to the garden to pick up the child, although he was already lying dead in the back seat. And another father tried to snatch the gun from the policeman in order to shoot himself right there.

The article is just beginning, but here the conflict reaches its climax, the reader understands the tragedy of the situation. Further, the tension should go down and there will be a denouement with explanations of the reasons.

Forensic statistics. In forty percent of cases, these tragedies are recognized as an accident. In the remaining sixty, it was a criminal offense.

Two cases are being dealt with: Harrison and Culpepper. Culpepper left the baby in the car five days before the same thing happened to Harrison. Harrison was charged with manslaughter by an attorney who calls himself a vigilant father and believes that this would not have happened to him. Culpepper was not tried for murder, it was the decision of a lawyer whose daughter died of leukemia at the age of three.

Further, the Harrison case is dealt with. How he and his wife were a childless couple and traveled to Moscow three times, and then ten hours to the Russian provinces to adopt a child. Witnesses described how Miles and his wife tried to create good conditions for their son. The wife told about Miles's call immediately after the tragedy. The court drops the charges.

This excerpt shows that the judiciary is considering such cases. The reader concludes that in them everything is really ambiguous.

Further, the article goes in a different direction.

Background story about a man who, after the tragedy, thought about suicide. In the article, he argues that there are no suitable terms for these cases.

Scientist Commentarywho deals with memory issues. The scientist says that it makes no difference for the brain whether to forget the phone at home or the child in the car. Experiments on rats are described. Then the scientist recalls the case of a woman who forgot her child in the car - Lyn Balfour.

Meet Lin Balfour - a key character. A sketch of Balfour doing several things at once. Her husband is serving in Iraq.

Scientific fact. Psychological term "Swiss Cheese Model": sometimes slices of cheese are so overlapped that the holes in them coincide, a hole is formed. It is the same with memory.

The story of how Lin forgot her son in the car: the nanny could not come that day; the car seat for my son had to be placed behind the driver, not behind the passenger seat; her relative got into trouble and called her; there was a crisis at work, her boss called; the son had a cold and was naughty in the back seat, and then fell asleep. The holes of the cheese were superimposed on one another.

Here, Lin's story confirms the idea of Swiss cheese. And the very idea of Swiss cheese is a great image that explains the complex.

Briefly about Lin … She is a soldier and combatant. Appearance description. Lin says, "I don't feel the need to forgive myself." Then a sketch from the court, as Lin approached Miles and whispered something to him, he burst into tears. Lin's biography: her father was a fake father and drank, two couples of grandparents divorced, and then exchanged partners. At 18, she joined the army. She got married, gave birth to a son, divorced, married again, gave birth to a second.

Lin and the author of the article take the same route as that day, showing how it all happened. She still drives the same car.

This part of the article reveals the character of Balfour, and he is controversial. At first she wants to sympathize, and then she seems repulsive.

Then the story about Balfour continues.

Lin was charged with second degree murder. The husband had to travel to Iraq to cover the legal costs, and Lin was left to go through it all alone.

Lawyer Lin's comment … He says that he did not allow Lin to speak at the trial because of her character, instead he turned on the jury two audio recordings: with an interrogation an hour after the tragedy and a 911 call from a passer-by, during which Lin was heard screaming.

A story about the details of the tragedy

Jury Comments. The story of one of them, how he and his wife forgot to pick up the child from the garden, but this did not lead to a tragedy.

Commentary from the head of the "Children and Cars" center the law to improve safety, which was not passed due to the car lobby, and the device with a weight sensor, which was not sold. Nobody wants to deal with lawsuits if the device doesn't work, and the parents don't want to buy it.

The story of another man, his daughter died in his car.

Comments from Internet userswho blame their parents for being too busy chasing money.

Psychologist's comment. "People want to believe that disasters are not accidental, that we ourselves are to blame and can manage them."

We return to Lin. She says she is used to grieving alone. And she says that she would like to leave and hide, but promised her deceased son to do everything so that this does not happen to another child. That is why she is so willing to talk to the press.

Harrison's story. His deceased son is Dima Yakovlev. After his death, Americans were banned from adopting children from Russia. Conversation with Culpepper. Conversation with husband Lin.

Conclusion. Lin says that it is a great misfortune to lose a child and not be able to have more children. And if the Harrisons can't have a child, she will give birth to them herself, and that's legal.

If you have read all this, then, first of all, you are worthy of the editorial order, here, sign where the check mark is. And secondly, let's analyze.

Although the article begins with Harrison's story, the main character is Lyn Balfour. She appears at the very beginning, and from the middle of the article her story is untwisted.

This story has no logical end: this is not a competition, not a movement towards a goal, not a struggle with the system, it is just the story of a woman who experienced such a tragedy. It takes some serious skill to get the reader to read the article to the end. Usually the reader wants to know how it will end, but this is not here, so you have to keep your interest in other ways:

• The textured character of the protagonist.
• Striking facts that show history from an unusual perspective. For example, that nobody wants to manufacture weight sensors.
• Scholarly commentary, background stories, trials and decisions.

Each piece of this article propels the reader more and more into the topic. It seems that after this article it is impossible to remain a skeptic.

The article has no subheadings and almost no photographs, and this also shows the power of the material: the author does not have to attract attention with visual accents, the article is read in a row, from beginning to end.

In this structure, the article usually starts with a key story, and then that story is handed out piece by piece. Not so in this example: first we learn the story of Harrison, the supporting character, and then Lin. Perhaps this was done because the Harrison trial was a powerful news feed that attracted the reader.

Of course, the topic is still important here. If it was an article about car accidents, it would get less attention. Therefore, a combination of factors triggered the interest: the news feed, the topic, the quality of the material.

Nevertheless, this article serves as a great example of the reader willing to read great material if it is strong.

Example: Broken Road Article

A structured history can be carried over to shorter stories, but it is important that this story reveals the problem.

Introduction, the beginning of history. An ambulance patient died on the way to the hospital due to a bumpy road. The ambulance was traveling too slowly not to get stuck in the mud, and the woman died.

End-to-end history. The husband of the deceased tells how it all happened.

Aggravation of the conflict. The village has never had a road, it costs 12 million to build, the administration says there is no money.

Additional history with another patient, as he was taken to the hospital, but two kilometers without a road drove for an hour.

End-to-end history. He tells how he filed complaints with other residents several times, but received formal replies.

Conversation with an activist … Shows replies, says that she tried to get in a direct line with the president, but to no avail.

Secondary hero. The entrepreneur, the owner of the store, talks about how difficult it is to carry groceries and how he got stuck in bad weather.

End-to-end history. The husband shows pictures of his deceased wife, talks about children. The children were taken away by their grandparents.

Official's comment: knows about the problem, but cannot help.

Facts. What was built in the village in recent years, how much did it cost.

Hero. He says that he intends to sue and demand compensation.

This story is more local, but the structure is preserved in it, there is a continuous history, there are additional, and there are facts. In journalism, there is a rule in what proportions to use all this:

One third of facts, two thirds of stories.

Lyudmila Sarycheva publishes "Modulbank Case", writes books about working with text, sets up editorial processes, trains authors. She devoted her new book to drama - techniques that hold attention and make you read the text to the end. You will learn about simple and complex drama, working with theme and structure, hero and conflict. Learn to give vivid examples and highlight details, create intrigue and adjust the rhythm of the text. And you'll realize that you don't have to be a screenwriter or a writer to add a little drama.