3 psychological tricks that will teach you how to get what you want

Foot in the door

Popularized by Robert Cialdini (American psychologist - ed.), This technique can be a very effective persuasion tool.

When you need to convince someone to comply with a rather burdensome request, you can improve your chances by asking for something non-burdensome first.

The first shallow request is likely to be accepted, and this will give the subject an impression that they are generally happy to help you. When you then turn to him with a larger request, he is more likely to agree in order to maintain consistency in behavior. Refusing the second request would be inconsistent with the preconceived notion, and in order to avoid cognitive dissonance and maintain consistency in behavior, the subject is likely to agree.

A classic work that describes this principle may shed more light on the issue (Freedman & Fraser, 1966). Two researchers, disguised as volunteers, tried to persuade homeowners to comply with a rather onerous request: to install a large and ugly road sign “Driver! Be careful!" in their driveways.

When homeowners were only approached with this request, only 17% of those surveyed agreed. And it's true: few people will agree to fulfill such a strange and inappropriate request. So how did the researchers manage to persuade as many as 76% of the second group of subjects?

Several weeks before asking them to install this large sign, they were asked to install a small sign "Be careful while driving." It was not difficult at all, so almost everyone agreed. And this seemingly trivial request made homeowners more inclined to agree to a much larger sign a few weeks later.

After the participants in the experiment agreed to grant the first request, they developed an image of themselves as people who care about safe driving. Therefore, later, when they were asked to place a large sign, they could not refuse, so as not to show inconsistency.

Was “caring about driving safely” the only perception homeowners had after agreeing to a small request? What if the first request wasn't for driving safely?

It turns out that small requests, even not related to the main one, significantly increase the chances of getting consent in the future.

In some cases, in the study described, scientists asked homeowners to sign a petition to protect the environment or install a small sign that read “Take care of California's beauty.” Scientists received the largest number of positive answers (76%) when the first and subsequent requests were connected (a small sign about safe driving, and then a large sign about it). However, they managed to collect as many as 50% of positive responses even in cases where the first request had nothing to do with the second (a signature on the petition or a sign of the beauty of California, and then a large sign for safe driving).

The mention of the ecology and beauty of California did not instill in respondents the importance of driving safely, but it successfully instilled in them an idea of themselves as people who actively participate in public life and easily provide services to strangers.

Throwing a low ball

In addition to the trick described above, you can try another one.

You start with a small request that is answered with consent, and then increase the size of that request.

This technique, called "low ball throwing", is often used by salespeople. Perhaps you yourself have become a victim of this tactic, for example, in a car dealership, where it is often used.

You just agreed with the seller about good conditions for buying a new car, and he goes to his workplace to get the paperwork, and you rejoice at a fantastically successful deal. In fact, the manager is probably not drawing up anything, but is just waiting a few minutes to let you dream of a new car.

When these few minutes pass, he comes back to you with bad news: the director has not approved the deal and the price of the car will be $ 500 higher. But by that time, you had already fired up and gave the initial consent, and now you are experiencing internal pressure that forces you to agree to new, less favorable terms.

You have already imagined driving in a new car and allowed yourself to really want it. Like a puppeteer controlling a puppet, the salesperson pulled the strings of cognitive dissonance and practically forced you to accept unfavorable terms.

Suggest the right attitude

Instead of provoking an object into certain behavior that will trigger the desired congruent state, you can achieve the goal by subtly influencing the object and getting it to state a certain state.

If, for example, he himself says that he is in a good mood, then his behavior will change accordingly. How to provoke an object to make such a statement? Much easier than you think. When meeting with someone, the first thing we usually ask is "How are you?" It has become a social norm that everyone is used to. Even if a person is going through the worst day of their life, they will probably still give a standard answer to this question.

A person who says that he is “doing well” is more likely to agree to the request.

Having spoken this standard answer aloud, we feel obligated to behave consistently, that is, to fulfill the request.

I know what you are thinking now. You think that we are so used to answering "good" and "excellent" that these words are pronounced automatically and no longer mean anything, they have lost their power and can no longer affect our state, much less our behavior and inclination to fulfill requests.

Believe it or not, research suggests otherwise. In an experiment devoted to this very technique (Howard, 1990), the scientist called Texas residents and asked if they would agree to have a representative of an anti-hunger organization come to them and sell them some cookies.

When he asked only this question, only 18% of the respondents agreed. But among those who were first asked, "How do you feel today?" and those who answered positively (“good” or “great”), the percentage of those who agreed was almost twice as high (32%). In this case, survey participants were more likely to agree, because they felt the need to actually back up their positive statement.

Conclusion: the next time a police officer stops you to check your documents, ask him: "How are you?"

If you want an object to have a certain attitude, you must get it to behave in a manner consistent with that attitude. If you manage to provoke the desired behavior, the object will experience cognitive dissonance and will want to adjust its internal state in accordance with the behavior.

The above techniques will help with this. You can learn about other psychological maneuvers and features of human behavior in the book by Nick Kolenda "The Belief System: How to Influence People with Psychology."