"It all started and went to the wedding, mortgage and daughter": 10 stories of online dating with the continuation

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Tinder, social networks, instant messengers - love can be found anywhere!

1. “I continued to leaf through the profiles already on the machine. And once I liked my future husband"

Alina:

- I signed up on Tinder to find a serious relationship. I had no other options for dating. I studied in a female team and felt an acute shortage of young people around me.

I sat on Tinder for a year and was already starting to get upset that none of the people I dated was right for me. There were a lot of correspondences, we met with five guys. But the matter did not go further than the second date: I was bored, and I realized that it was not mine. When I was on a date with the fifth young man, I accidentally met the first one. I took this as a sign that the circle was closed and it was time to end it.

I continued to leaf through the profiles already on the machine. And one day she liked her future husband. I drew attention to the profession: he is a literary critic. It attracted me because I was looking for an intellectual, a person with whom it would be interesting. I was also interested in tall men, and he was just that.

Artyom then broke up with the girl and argued with a friend that on Tinder you can have a serious relationship in a week. It took him one day to search - he immediately found my account.

I liked it and forgot it. And he had a lot of fuse, since he was on Tinder the first day. And he turned out to be a little more persistent than me, thanks to this everything worked out. Artyom began to write to me, we struck up a rather frank conversation. I wrote that I had been on Tinder a long time ago and began to despair of finding someone. As he later admitted, he was hooked on my honesty. The next day we met despite the rain.

When we agreed on a date, I was ready not to go on it, because I did not believe that something would come of it. But he threw me this phrase: "The rain will end, but something may not start."

We met, walked all day, told each other about ourselves. As naive as it may sound, this is exactly what I dreamed of. It was interesting with him, he tried in every possible way to win me over, read poetry. In the evening we went home and continued to correspond. And in the morning I woke up with the thought that I was hooked by this man. The next day we went to the theater - here our interests also coincided. And so it all started.

You have to be persistent. Girls often say: "Here is a guy writing, asks" How are you? "- what will I answer to that?" But if you see interest in a person you like, you can pick up the conversation. Don't give up on him if he can't start a fun conversation right away. But at the same time, you do not need to force yourself, communicating with someone with whom nothing will work out for sure. We need to free up time for someone more interesting.

2. "I just wanted new people, dates and flirting"

Maria:

- I signed up for Tinder on the advice of a friend. There was no definite goal: I was not looking for a future husband, sex for one night, or anything concrete in general. I just wanted new people, dates and flirting, a different point of view on life, in the end. Then I could not even imagine how addictive it is.

Before that, I was skeptical about internet dating. But now it is obvious that they will only develop. First, it's easier to find a partner that's right for you. You can immediately find out about his interests, life goals, attitude to issues that are important to you. Secondly, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, it's safer. Unpleasant communication in a bar is much more difficult to suppress than questionable correspondence. Well, in reality you will get to know each other in neutral territory.

I've been dating Tinder people for over a year. And the longer you sit there, the faster you understand what a person is, already from the first lines of the profile description or the title photo.

There are quite a few inadequate people in life. The question is, are you letting them in or filtering them.

Of course, there were many funny stories. One guy ran straight out of a date when he heard that I was in favor of feminism. There were people with interesting fetishes, for example, those who like to wear lingerie. There was a guy looking for a Vedic wife who said that I would not work with him in marriage, because it spoils the female energy. But he told a lot about meditation. There were also wonderful walks around the city with an Australian - a very nice and polite guy. Actually, on Tinder, a surprisingly large number of people are looking for friends or someone who can take a city tour (and no, this is not an excuse for sex - I checked).

My fiance just signed up for Tinder. I corresponded with several girls, but I was the first with whom he went on a date. He didn't need the app anymore. There was no description on his profile, and the photos were very abstract (wearing a helmet on a motorcycle). But for some reason I immediately realized that he should be given special attention.

From our first correspondence, and even more so from our meeting, I wanted to be honest, open and sincere with him. He behaved the same way.

It seems that we went around most of the museums in the city, toured the entire region and decided to travel even further. He made me an offer to the chimes on New Year's Eve in Tallinn. Fireworks thundered around and ABBA played.

By the way, surprisingly, we both lived in the same city for most of our lives, but did not know each other and did not even see each other. Probably, fate decreed to meet in another city and at another time.

3. "If you understand who you need, you can find people for both friendship and relationships."

Alexandra:

- More than two years ago I moved to Moscow and realized that I did not have many friends and acquaintances here. That is why I was looking for those with whom I can go to parties, exhibitions or drink coffee.

I was not expecting something serious, but at the same time I was ready that something like this could happen, and it happened. My young man is an aspiring actor and stand-up artist, and the description of his profile interested me. I also liked the photos. All of this stood out a lot against the background of what men usually post on Tinder. I felt that he was a good and kind person. We signed up and literally met right away, quickly realized that we both love to go to exhibitions, walk, visit interesting places, and everything started spinning.

I would advise everyone to write in their head or on paper what you expect from the person with whom you want to communicate.

For example, my friend was looking for a techie from Yandex, found him and still meets with him. Here everything is the same as with finding a job. You think: I want to work in this industry, to do something. And you continue to apply for vacancies that interest you.

If you understand who you need, you can find people for both friendship and relationships. But this is not done in one or two days. I was on Tinder for two or three months. There were about 40 correspondences, six dates. And with all six people I continue to communicate in one way or another.

It is sometimes said that there is a lot of inadequacy on Tinder. I did not come across this, because I chose those with whom I have something to talk about. For example, now I am helping one friend with PR. We found each other through the app, went on a couple of dates. A romantic relationship did not start, but a business relationship began. Another guy from Tinder is a DJ and often invites to parties. These seem to be very useful acquaintances.

4. "I didn't like Otto's profile photo at all, but for some reason I swiped right."

Lisa:

- Initially, I signed up on Tinder in search of some vague miracle. In general, I love when relationships are like in a movie, where an accident turns into a beautiful romance. Interestingly, I didn't like Otto's profile photo at all, but for some reason I swiped to the right. And after the match it turned out that we are in different countries: Russia and Latvia. Moreover, my newly-made acquaintance stubbornly lied that he was just on a business trip in Moscow. In fact, he used the extended geolocation function and, sitting in Latvia, was looking out for vaunted Russian brides.

We have been together for a year and a half and we are seriously talking about getting married. I can't say that our relationship is cotton candy. But this is the standard grinding of two temperamental egoists, so I have no doubt about a happy ending.

Of course, one could meet somewhere in a bar, restaurant or a group of friends. But such an acquaintance inevitably gives rise to uncomfortable moments. Live, you find points of non-contact pretty quickly. And to say "Sorry, but you are not that coat" I always lacked the spirit. The Internet makes it possible for the inner snob to roam around and evaluate the profile with the utmost rigor: is it good enough, educated and, in general, how is he doing there. Therefore, dating on the Internet is definitely like!

They say that Tinder is full of inadequacies, but I have not encountered this. Often, lovers of spanking, abuse and just boring people in all their glory demonstrate this in their profiles. All the same, the character is manifested in the facial expression, posture and the text "About Me". Simply put, here I turned on the senses: I rejected the dull guys with empty fishy eyes and those who at least somehow demonstrated a cultural code that was not close to me.

By the way, I somehow swiped a charming grandpa from Canada, who turned out to be the vice-president of an oil company and after two weeks of communication flew to visit Moscow. Anticipating questions: Grandpa was adorable, but it turned out that it was very difficult for me to speak English 24/7. So the Canadian oil hunter didn’t come out of me. But on the other hand, my belief in happy accidents when dating online was strengthened.

For people who are desperate to find their person in person, but are afraid of online dating, I would advise you to quickly drop your fear. The Internet is an auxiliary tool that will save you time and hassle.

5. "If you try to pretend it doesn't work"

Mayan:

- I've always been a skeptic and never believed in dating on social networks or on special sites. I had a little experience, and I decided that this was nonsense: it is impossible to meet on the Internet and start a family.

But one day my future husband wrote to me. I come to work, I see the message: "Good morning!" I think: "You are from another city, what is the point in what you write to me?" For me, VKontakte was a social network for entertainment, not for dating. But for some reason I decided to answer, and we struck up a conversation.

As a result, I look at the photos on his page and understand: this is a dear person. As if we have known each other all our lives!

He also had a lot of pictures with his nephews in his account. His family and the warmth of these photographs attracted, it was clear how a person loves children.

We met in March and met on the May holidays. The future husband said that he had serious intentions and he would like me to move to St. Petersburg, or he will move to Saratov with me. I have never considered moving to another city. Is that because of a super job or with a family in the future: the child will go to university, or the husband will be offered a promotion. But here I obeyed the call of my heart and went to St. Petersburg in September.

I think an important success factor in finding the right person for you is being yourself. I even noticed on my own: if you try to pretend, nothing comes of it. With my future husband, we had everything from the heart, honestly. And everything worked out.

6. “I started chatting about everything in a row. And after a week I realized that I was in head over heels"

Marina:

- We met in LJ in 2009, but didn't really communicate. They just followed the life of distant no-names from the Web. When the popularity of LJ faded away, I decided to add especially valuable friends to VKontakte. But there was still no communication as such.

In March 2013, I was very bored at the then dull job. I was looking for someone to chat with on the web. Quite by accident I stumbled upon Karen's long-forgotten page and wrote. So, from scratch, chatter began about everything. And after a week I realized that I was in head over heels.

Pretty soon our communication became almost round-the-clock. We scribbled kilometers of messages on VKontakte. At first, our conversations were friendly, but I felt a genuine and inexplicable interest in a person who was 1,500 kilometers away from me. I then lived in Kaliningrad, and he was in Petrozavodsk.

Literally a couple of weeks later, he had his birthday, and I ordered a collection of Joyce's stories by surprise.

After another couple of weeks of epistolary communication, I decided to send a paper letter. By that time, I had already realized that I was in love.

My homemade postcard with Tsvetaeva's verse flew to the addressee. He took it out of the mailbox, coincidentally, with the song "My heart stopped" by the group "Spleen" in headphones. And after that, everything was already clear for both of us.

Then our story turned into a definitely romantic one. We both did not yet believe that this was really happening, and decided to meet to test our feelings. He was shy, and I was afraid to break the magic of the correspondence. We agreed to meet in Moscow, on neutral territory. And then everything was simple. We met, realized that here it is, love. The person you see for the first time in your life is the one from the correspondence, and everything is going right.

Then there was a fast-paced relationship at a distance and several meetings. After a year of meeting, I moved to Petrozavodsk, then we got married. 10 months after the wedding, our son was born, and now we are expecting a second child.

Now we are an ordinary family with our ups and downs, and I can't even believe how bizarre fate brought us together.

Before that, neither I nor my husband believed that dating on the Internet could lead to something like this. In practice, it turned out that this thing is quite real. You can be open to communication on the Web for any reason. In this way, I made several friends with whom it is very pleasant to communicate and meet on occasion. And nobody knows where love will find you.

7. "You just write on interesting topics, and then everything happens by itself."

Kate:

- I posted a photo of a chestnut sprout in my LJ and invited subscribers to guess what kind of plant it was. The controversy began. Cyril was also subscribed to me and began to guess, but did not guess. That's how we met.

Then they began to communicate in ICQ. After two or three months we saw each other, then spent a vacation together. During the year we had a long-distance relationship: he is in Moscow, I am in Saratov. We even sent each other paper letters - we just wondered what would come of it. Of course, these are different sensations and the communication style is different. And then I moved to the capital.

I have always been okay with internet dating. My friend even met her husband at a dating service. They have been married for 10 years.

When you communicate with a person, you do not immediately tune in to a serious relationship. You just write on interesting topics, and then everything happens by itself. In general, this compares favorably with thematic sites from Tinder, where people come with specific goals. You first get to know a person as a person - for a conversation. For example, in "LJ" I found several friends with whom we now communicate with families.

8. "I learned much later that a song on a wall is a way to roll it up."

Maria:

- I have always had a positive attitude towards dating on the Internet. Thanks to several forums and chats in the early 2000s (I was then a schoolgirl), I found some cool people who became good friends of mine. Naturally, we became virtualized and met in real life. Therefore, later, when I was 18–20 years old, the Internet was used to me as a tool for communication, new acquaintances - not only friendly, romantic, but also business.

I met my future husband in 2010. There was no Tinder then, but there were dating sites. I never took them seriously, I regarded them as places for inadequate people.

Artyom works in the theater. I once went to a very good performance and then decided to find out more about its creators. So I found his profile on VKontakte. I saw that the audio recordings contain music from the play, but there is no interesting version of the composition that I had. I sent a message with this song and we started to chat. Then we met offline and realized that we have a lot of common interests. And then everything started spinning and came to the wedding, mortgage and daughter. That is, the relationship developed quite normally.

By the way, I found out much later that a song on a wall is a way to roll it up. But nobody believes me.

9. “Sometimes it seems to me that I believe in fate. And everything that happened was destiny"

Dasha:

- It all happened by accident. I didn’t purposefully sit on dating sites and didn’t look for my future husband there. I just once came to visit a friend in a terrible mood. She offered to register me on a dating site to unwind. Two guys reacted to my photo there: Sergey and, I think, Zhenya. It was a conversation about nothing, I did not attach any importance to it at all. When after a while I was again with a friend, she remembered about my account. I don't remember exactly how it all happened - it seems that there were some messages from Sergei. And we resumed communication with him and immediately switched to ICQ. That is, in fact, I have been on the dating site twice.

Sometimes it seems to me that I believe in fate. And everything that happened was destiny. A casual acquaintance on the Internet, my decision to wait for him at our first meeting, although he was half an hour late (and I hate it when people are late), a sudden intersection at a party (we stopped our correspondence at that time) - in general, how- then everything worked out by itself.

But the proposal was really romantic. In any case, according to my parameters of romance. Night, Palace Square, an outstretched hand with a ring, tears and kisses in the Petersburg rain.

I still cannot unequivocally assess online dating: there are different cases. But it’s probably even easier this way. It is still easier for me to communicate with unfamiliar people in instant messengers than by phone or in person.

I would not drag out the correspondence and go offline faster. This, of course, is trite, but on the Internet people are not quite the same as in life.

Well, if we are talking about a romantic relationship, it is much more pleasant to be close to a person, to feel his scent, to hear a voice, to be able to touch, than to look at his pictures.

10. "It seems to me that we would not have seen each other if we just met."

Catherine:

- It was 2003. At that time, all my entourage communicated a lot in ICQ, chat rooms, forums. I studied in a specialty related to information technology, and worked in an organization that dealt with telecommunications. My future husband worked for an IT-related company.

The number of my ICQ was given to Dima by his friend, whom I also knew. Before that, he asked me if he could do it. I was then torn apart by feelings: my relationship had just ended. December, the mood is decadent, I agreed without special expectations.

Once I received a message: “Hi, my name is Dima, I'm 26 years old. Let's get acquainted". I laughed and wrote in the same style: “Hi, my name is Katya, I'm 24 years old. Let's!"

We started communicating and corresponded for almost two months. At some point, they decided that it was necessary to meet. We met at a party in a nightclub, and then continued to communicate in ICQ again. And this communication played a very important role. It seems to me that we would not have seen each other if we had just met. In an ordinary acquaintance, they are judged superficially, in appearance. And we talked for a long time, joked, discovered that we have a common sense of humor, outlook on life.

For some time we didn't even send photos to each other. It was an element of flirting. He sent me a photo of him standing on the top of a mountain and filmed from afar. I told him - from the event where I was photographed from the back.

It is interesting that we studied at the same university with a small time difference, lived in the same district of Saratov, we had common interests, common acquaintances and friends. But we never crossed paths. It even turned out that our parents work at the same enterprise and literally sit in neighboring offices. That is, we could have met a hundred times, but never met. And they met only through communication on the Web.