10 amazing discoveries I made after my baby was born

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Someone must warn about this.

1. The child may turn out to be a person whom you would never have met

While the relatives are wondering who the baby looks like, from which grandfather got the eyebrows, and from which grandmother - the little fingers, the child grows unlike anyone but himself.

We don't choose who is born. We do not know anything about a new person, we have to meet him every day and discover him.

It may turn out that a person was born with whom you would never communicate if you had such a choice.

Not in the sense that the child is a monster, you just may not have anything in common at all, except for some part of the genes and the surname.

I am lucky that my child is a typical phlegmatic, reasonable and immersed in his own affairs. It is with such people that it is easy and interesting for me to communicate. And a nephew, for example, an incredible artist, knows how and loves to attract attention, takes on a hundred important things in order to find a hundred even more important in the next minute. He is cool, talented, but how hard it is for me to be with him. Sometimes I think with horror that it could have been the other way around.

Such differences in temperaments are noticeable from the first months of life, and the child cannot be altered (someone is trying, but this is inhumane). We'll have to love him the way he was born, and learn to live with him.

2. Your parents made a lot of mistakes

They say that only after the birth of your child do you understand how hard it was for the parents. Okay, but you also understand something else: how often they were wrong.

Of course, parents didn't have internet, disposable diapers, breastfeeding counselors, and early childhood development schools. But they had libraries! So why, it’s interesting to know, did they educate us the way they did?

It is obvious to any educated modern parent that grandparents are wrong. Someone in the little things: breast milk dripped into the nose, fed by the hour, or forced to eat. Someone fined more severely: they did not support in a conflict with classmates, they were forbidden to take initiative, they treated whims with a belt.

No one will remain sinless, because we are all human.

3. But you will do even more

The first inspiration at the thought that you know more about children than your parents passes very quickly. Because no matter how hard you try, you can never be the perfect parent. It’s impossible not to raise your voice, never to lose heart, never to give up on what the ideal parent should do.

You will definitely make mistakes many times, but okay. This is not a reason to hate yourself, really. All parents make mistakes, all children feel it on themselves, but somehow they grow up, in most cases everything is fine.

This is not an excuse to treat parenting in a casual manner. Just do not cultivate the image of the ideal parent and do not try to keep up with him - you will not catch up with anything but neurosis.

4. Nobody knows how to educate correctly

Each child is a unique person with his own temperament, thoughts and growth characteristics. No guide will tell you everything, no psychologist will tell you what is going on in this little man's head.

Recipes "how to raise a child" do not work. More precisely, they work, but not all, not always and not with your child.

For example, in every second article telling how to cope with the whims of a three-year-old child, I saw advice to act on the contrary: if the child does not want to go home from a walk, then you need to say that no one will go home for anything. From the desire to do the opposite, the child should immediately want to go home. If only this tip worked! "We can't go home, we'll walk until we're blue in the face!" - says the mother, and the child nods and happily goes to the nearest bushes to catch the worm.

And so it is always, with all the recommendations.

5. Children are smarter than they seem

Children's brain is just growing, many thought processes are inaccessible to them due to physiological limitations. Children have little experience, so it is more difficult for them to draw conclusions: there is not enough material for reflection. Therefore, it seems to many adults that the child “does not yet understand”. And here adults are mistaken, because children understand much more than we think.

You should never underestimate the power of a child's intellect, and even more so, you can’t say: “Grow up - you will find out”, because if a child asked, then he is ready to hear the answer.

If the child does not understand what you are answering, then you simply explain poorly or you yourself have not fully figured out what you are talking about.

When I didn’t have any child yet, we found ourselves in the company of a couple of parents, whose child was just at the age of "why" (he was four years old) and constantly asked about everything in a row. The parents asked not to pay attention to these questions, because "otherwise he will not lag behind." I saw how upset the child was, so I still tried to tell him more. It was noticeable that he was actually interested in everything he asked and what he was told. He so eagerly absorbed information that I made a promise to myself to always answer all the children's “why?” When I myself become a mother.

It was a great idea, although I didn't always get the chance to answer questions.

6. Parents (that is, we) are very stupid

When a baby demands an answer to the eternal "why?" Even to cheat and answer in some clever way, so that he does not understand anything, will not work - the eternal "why?" will pour out of the child until everything becomes clear to him.

You have to constantly talk and explain everything in the world. Why is the sky blue, what does the spectrum mean, how does the ray disintegrate, what is the dual nature of light and what does the Big Bang have to do with it?

If you do not cheat, then any conversation about butterflies ends with the foundations of the theory of evolution and the structure of cells, and the noise of a flying plane opens a conversation about aerodynamics. And everything must be told in an accessible language. This is possible only in one case: you are very good at the topic and know how to explain string theory on your fingers.

It is then that it becomes clear how little we really know, how poorly we understand the nature of things and how much knowledge from the school curriculum has fallen out of our memory. For answers to children's questions, you have to constantly consult at least with Google.

A child is an incentive to learn, learn and learn again.

This is my best examiner in all subjects in the world at once. No professor at the university, no curiosity could make me learn and learn as much as a child.

7. My child will also die someday

Young parents are told how much love and happiness a child will bring. Then they add how many sleepless nights and everyday difficulties are ahead, after which boundless happiness will still come. Few people share the details of their fears. These are not ordinary fears like “I won't do it”, “I’ll be a bad mom”, “I won’t succeed” or “It will be hard for me”, “where will I get the money”.

When a child appears, animal horror comes to life: something can happen to him. This fear will never leave you again. If you analyze it, then sooner or later an obvious, but difficult thing for comprehension will come to you: the child is also a person, he was born, which means he will die.

Now you know the worst secret, welcome to the parents club.

This thought is more frightening than the thought of your death. This is not discussed, because even telling someone about it is scary. With this discovery, you are left alone. You will not be able to do anything, even if your child is 110 years old, great-grandchildren will crowd around him, someday he will be gone.

8. Parental chats are evil

In theory, it is more convenient with them: all these groups in messengers help to know everything and receive important information if you can find it among hundreds of unnecessary messages.

- Tell everyone, urgent information from the FSB, 12 especially dangerous criminals have escaped and are mining kindergartens!

- What is the name of the physical education teacher?

- It's time to collect money for graduation, in October there will be no decent cafes left.

- It's fake.

- Tomorrow at 17:30 meeting.

- Nina Petrovna.

- Why a cafe at the graduation from kindergarten?

- Love grandmothers, love grandfathers, old man's day!

- Do we have a physical education teacher?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

9. You can yawn with your heel

Young children show what it means to be completely committed to the cause. They don't know any other way. Sometimes it's worth learning from them.

I realized how I could capture one lesson when I saw a newborn son yawning. Usually we yawn with our mouth and sometimes cover it with our hand, but a baby of several days old did differently: he yawned whole, all. In the process, both arms and legs were occupied, up to the heels. And he seemed to like it.

This was my personal lesson: when you do something, immerse yourself in the whole thing, so that even your heels are involved. Then you'll love it.

10. You should play with your child, not pretend

Children generally understand well when they are paid attention, and when they communicate formally, for show. If I believed in the third eye, I would say that in children it is still open and reads parental thoughts - they unmistakably determine when adults are not interested in building a tower or playing out a battle for an Autobot base.

The only way to get your child interested in any business is to play with him. The only way to play well is not to pretend that you are playing, but to sincerely get involved in the process, returning to childhood.

Children should not be deceived even in such trifles as arranging a dollhouse. They will immediately feel the falsehood and no longer believe it.