Table of contents:
- 1. You give up because of other people's needs from your own
- 2. You are constantly looking for approval
- 3. You are trying to be who they want to see you
- 4. You constantly shift responsibility for your life to others
- 5. You take someone else's opinion to heart, even if it is not constructive
- 6. You are afraid of loneliness
- 7. You are afraid to do things on your own
- 8. You feel responsible for the expectations of others
- 9. You cannot make a decision without someone else's advice
- 10. You take any whisper behind your back at your own expense
2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
Alarm bells that signal: it is worth working on self-esteem, inner core and responsibility for your life.
1. You give up because of other people's needs from your own
If you have a reputation as a person who will always help, will never leave, the soul of the company and the best friend in the world, analyze at what cost you are given it. You may find that everyone around you has long sat on your neck and dangled their legs, because you are ready to save others, abandoning your own plans and desires.
Helping is normal and correct. Constantly acting to your detriment, so that people think well of you, is still not worth it. Learn to say no.
2. You are constantly looking for approval
You will not be happy with the results of your work until someone praises you. This can apply to both work and routine things. For example, you return home to change because your image has received few likes on Instagram, although the reflection in the mirror was happy.
Build your self-esteem on objective metrics, not on someone else's approval. For example, sales growth will tell you much more about your professionalism than your boss's praise.
3. You are trying to be who they want to see you
In one of the scenes of the film "Runaway Bride" it turned out that the heroine told each groom that she loved the same dish of eggs that he did. As a result, the girl herself could not understand what she liked.
For a person who is too dependent on someone else's opinion, the situation is even more serious. If you are remaking yourself for each person you are talking to, it’s time to look for the inner core and decide who you are.
4. You constantly shift responsibility for your life to others
On the one hand, everything is logical: those around you so strongly influence your life that your successes or failures depend on their words and actions. But such a situation can hardly be called healthy.
A mature person takes responsibility for his life and assesses each action taking into account the possible risks and consequences.
5. You take someone else's opinion to heart, even if it is not constructive
You are not a hundred dollars to please everyone, but any reproach knocks you out of a rut. The comment “all humanitarians are stupid” can make you quit your favorite job and go to engineering, and you are already saving up for plastic surgery, because someone in the queue said that he was behind this little nose.
Not only smart people are around you, so some of the words of those around you should simply be ignored.
6. You are afraid of loneliness
Due to the dependence on someone else's opinion, you have a difficult situation with your own internal guidelines. Therefore, the possibility of being left without an external moderator causes panic.
Prioritize your opinion and the fear will pass.
7. You are afraid to do things on your own
You abandon an important project at work, put off ideas for a hobby or business, and have already forgotten when you boldly started something new and interesting. You are driven by fear of failure, which can expose your weaknesses.
It's okay to be wrong. Sometimes it's worth taking the risk to succeed.
8. You feel responsible for the expectations of others
The dependent person perceives other people's expectations as their own and is very afraid of not living up to them. And so you become a lawyer, because your parents wanted it so, get married urgently, because friends say it's time, and even in a cafe you order the same as your companion.
Others' expectations are not your problem.
9. You cannot make a decision without someone else's advice
If you change work or country of residence, it is natural to ask your loved ones what they think about this. Their opinions will help to get more arguments for and against. But when it comes to daily activities, the need for someone else's advice is indicative of addiction.
10. You take any whisper behind your back at your own expense
When people around you chat and laugh, you feel like they are discussing you. They discuss and condemn, of course, otherwise. But most people just don't care about you, no matter how offensive it sounds.
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