What is fabbing and how to get rid of it

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Not everyone knows what lies behind the word "fabbing", but every modern person has already experienced its effect on himself.

What is fabbing?

Fabbing is one of the manifestations of addiction to gadgets and the Web, the habit of being distracted by a smartphone during a conversation. When you communicate in person and at the same time constantly correspond with someone, scroll through public pages in social networks or call, you, in fact, ignore your interlocutor. Hence the name: phone + snubbing = phubbing.

The term appeared in 2012 with the light hand of employees of the advertising agency McCann, who were purposefully looking for a name for this phenomenon. Around the world, the word has come to light thanks to the Australian anti-fabbing campaign STOP PHUBBING. Interesting facts are given on the official website of the movement:

1. Moscow ranks 12th in the twenty most Fabber cities in the world.
2. If fubbing were a plague, it would kill six times as many people as there are in China.
3. For one dinner in a restaurant, on average, 36 cases of fabbing occur.
4. 97% of people admit that food becomes less tasty during fabbing.
5. 87% of teens prefer to communicate through messages rather than face to face.
6. Most fabbers use their smartphone to update their status, chat with someone more interesting than a live interlocutor, read jokes, and also search for music, services, and all sorts of nonsense on Google.

Etiquette consultants call fabbing the end of civilization. Therefore, the campaign calls for leaving your smartphone in your pocket and returning to the real world.

Why do people do this?

According to the study How “phubbing” becomes the norm: The antecedents and consequences of snubbing via smartphone from the University of Kent, phubbing stems from a number of other bad habits and psychological problems. Internet addiction, fear of missing out on something important (FoMO) and self-control difficulties lead to smartphone addiction, which in turn leads to fabbing.

The main problem is not the smartphone itself, but the endless possibilities offered by the Internet and the lack of willpower.

There are also gender prerequisites: women are more prone to fabbing, they do it more often and for longer. Perhaps the reason is in the different attitudes of the sexes to smartphones. For men, this is primarily a technique with advanced capabilities, and for women, it is an instrument of social interaction.

And another reason for the spread of fabbing is that the fabby (victim) sees the interlocutor buried in the phone and reaches for the gadget himself. This closes the circle and makes abnormal smartphone use the norm.

How does fabbing affect the fabber itself?

The association of fabbing with other addictions already hints at the destructive effect of this habit on its owner. By definition, internet addiction is an inappropriate internet usage pattern that leads to distress. Smartphone addiction is ranked alongside gambling addiction, and is associated with depression and an additional risk of health problems.

Another factor mentioned above - the fear of missing out on something important - drains and drains the fabber. He is constantly on the alert so as not to miss a message, call or news, and is afraid to find out that his friends went for a walk without him.

And since talking when they don't listen to you is not the most pleasant thing, the fabber will probably face problems with friends.

And the sacrifice?

Researchers from European universities Why Phubbing is Toxic for Your Relationship: Understanding the Role Of Smartphone Jealousy among “Generation Y” Users asked young people (representatives of the millennial generation) what emotions they feel when a loved one is overly addicted to a smartphone. Here is what the respondents answered:

• 28.6% were jealous, felt that they were neglected, not noticed, repulsed, that they were not needed and not interesting.
• 19.4% felt irritation, nervousness, anger, indignation, resentment.
• 11, 1% felt uncomfortable, stupid, offended, confused, felt disrespect for themselves, they felt unpleasant, hurt.

The rest spoke about neutral, and a small percentage - even about positive emotions. But, as you can see, fabbing is more negative: jealousy of the smartphone, the feeling that you have been exchanged for a piece of hardware.

What happens in a pair if one of the partners is a fabber?

In 2015, researchers at Baylor University decided to find out how fubbing affects relationships in a couple My life has become a major distraction from my cell phone: Partner phubbing and relationship satisfaction among romantic partners. The respondents assessed the degree of fabbing of their spouse on a special scale and, separately, the quality of the relationship.

Scientists have concluded that fabbing negatively affects romantic satisfaction, and indirectly affects overall life satisfaction and may contribute to depression.

Constant smartphone use is one of the most common causes of conflict in couples (along with money, sex and children).

Similar results were obtained in the American study “Technoference”: The Interference of Technology in Couple Relationships and Implications for Women’s Personal and Relational Well-Being. Scientists wanted to find out how fabbing affects women who have a boyfriend or spouse. 62% of 143 respondents said that a loved one is distracted by mobile devices once a day or more often, 35% of the partner uses the phone during conversations, 33% - while eating.

Participants in whose communication with a man persistently interfered with technology, more often conflict, experienced manifestations of depression and were less satisfied with their romantic relationships and life in general.

Partner phubbing and depression among married Chinese adults: The roles of relationship satisfaction and relationship length was also found to be a serious risk factor for depression in people who have been married for seven years or more. According to the authors of the study, the fact is that young people are more forgiving about fabbing than people of older generations, and also that partners who have lived together for a long time become more interdependent and therefore feel more acutely neglected.

How to overcome this addiction?

Try not to use gadgets in person

Think of this as a rule of etiquette, the same as not picking your teeth with a fork. If you urgently need to write to someone, ask for forgiveness from the interlocutor and do it quickly, and do not sit in the chat for half an evening. To answer the call, apologize and walk away for a while.

Do not put your smartphone on the table while eating

This is bad manners. In addition, you increase the temptation to grab hold of him again and climb into social networks. Put gadgets on the table only if the whole company collects them in a pile with an agreement that the first person to reach for the phone will be punished. For example, monetary.

Buy a cheap phone

Suitable for those who do not need to be constantly in touch at work in mail and instant messengers. There will be no opportunity to surf the Internet - there will be no fabbing.

Ask to call you about important questions

Arrange with colleagues, friends and family to call you on all urgent matters if you are afraid that you will miss something urgent. This will help wean yourself from checking your messages every ten minutes.

Determine what you usually do during fabbing and why

If it is sending messages, see the previous two points. If this is news, interesting things and games that are difficult to break away from, then unsubscribe from them, delete or make them inconvenient to use. For example, leave the application on a tablet that is not always with you, but delete it from your smartphone. The most daring can delete an account in at least one social network.

If you fabble because your friends do it, tell them bluntly that you don't like this style of communication. Suggest things to do instead of sharing gadgets.

If you grab your phone because you don't know what to talk about, read about the art of conversation or just any book - you will already have something to discuss.

There are many ways to treat fabbing. It is up to you to decide whether to fight this habit, and if so, how radically. But, you must admit, the future, in which everyone sits in silence, buried in their smartphone, and have forgotten how to talk face to face, seems sad.