"Do not strive for something for show": 4 tips on how to set goals

Don't do something for show

Over the past decade, the number of people running a marathon has grown by almost 50%. In 2018 alone, approximately one million three hundred thousand people crossed the finish line worldwide. Some of them just love to run, but many participate for other reasons. They want to become more confident, test themselves for strength, and achieve an ambitious goal. The marathon for them is a symbol of victory over themselves and proof that everything is possible.

But these great achievements have a downside. In the case of running, this is a post-marathon syndrome - a feeling of melancholy, worthlessness and disappointment that covers after the race. Harvard psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar called this the "achievement trap." You can get into it by reaching any major goal.

In addition, as we move towards a goal, the reward system is activated in our brain. There is a feeling that we have achieved something. For example, a person is just training, and the brain thinks that the owner has already run a marathon. And therefore, a real finish is less emotional than expected.

Nonetheless, popular culture still encourages everyone to set ambitious goals. We start to think that a big achievement will make us happy. However, this will not happen if you strive for some goal just for the sake of a tick. Instead, you can earn burnout and anxiety disorders. Strive for what means something to you, not what others think is cool.

Be clear about what's important to you

MetaLab founder Andrew Wilkinson uses anti-targets for this. They help him understand what to avoid at work. Together with a company partner, they planned a bad day and realized that they hated long meetings, frequent travel and a busy schedule. Therefore, they hold video meetings or pay travel expenses for customers so that they themselves are less on the road, and also devote no more than two hours a day to rigidly planned tasks.

Of course, not everyone has the necessary freedom and financial resources. In any case, anti-goals will help you sort out priorities and move towards what makes you happier.

Interestingly, some people never set goals at all. Among them is Jason Fried, founder of Basecamp, which makes software. “A goal is something that disappears after you reach it,” he writes on his blog. He perceives work and life as something continuous, which does not need to be divided into intermediate steps (that is, goals).

Build a system of actions

So you've identified your priorities. Now focus on the system of actions required to achieve them. Because the goal only sets the direction, but the system helps to move forward.

For example, suppose you want to write a book. Your system of action is when and how often you will write, how you will organize your ideas, who will edit the drafts.

“When you fall in love with the process of work, rather than the end result, you no longer have to wait to be happy,” writes entrepreneur and author James Clear in his book. "You are always happy when your system works."

Focus on small steps

To feel happy and fulfilled, it is important to see your own progress. Big goals do not help much in this: they are either too far in the future, or bring post-marathon syndrome with them. Focus on small actions.

“Every year I spend a week in my hometown in Turkey helping my family to collect olives,” says entrepreneur Aytekin Tank. “Harvesting is a powerful reminder of how small actions add up to big things. Each olive is just one drop, but after a week we have enough fruit for liters and liters of olive oil."

Small but regular actions produce meaningful results in any area of life. And they bring more pleasure than voluminous distant goals.