What to do if you are too self-critical

Remember your best qualities

In her book Working with Difficult People, Amy gives some simple advice. Every time you hear an inner voice that doubts your success, think back to your strengths. Dr. Cooper explains that consciousness follows our actions: by speaking out our positive qualities, we become more confident and eventually begin to relate to ourselves better.

A person with normal self-esteem makes decisions in a cool and balanced manner, and also does not give up opportunities, because he is not afraid to make a mistake. If talking about good things to yourself becomes a kind of mantra, the inner critic will have to be silenced and you will remain confident even in a difficult situation.

Instead of doubting, say out loud or to yourself, "I can do this" or "My efforts will pay off." The more often you repeat this, the sooner you will believe in yourself and begin to act more boldly. After some time, when you need to make a responsible decision, you will notice that you do not doubt yourself - this will be the day of your victory.

Speak in front of the mirror

For continuous work on yourself, Dr. Cooper offers another technique. Choose the quality in yourself that you like the most, and name it in front of the mirror in the morning, for example: "I love my ability to solve several problems at the same time."

You may feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, your voice will sound more confident. Do the exercise every day, changing skills and qualities. You will be surprised how many good things you have not noticed in yourself, and the next time your inner voice doubts your success, you will have something to argue. After all, how can something go wrong with the genius of multitasking?

The psychologist advises to track how many days you can avoid repeating in the qualities that you like, and try to increase this period, finding new positive aspects in yourself. The first results should not be expected after a week of exercise: this is a long-term work, but it will certainly bear fruit.

Distinguish self-criticism from self-flagellation

However, do not think that it is worth giving up self-criticism altogether. Doubt is an essential part of personal development. Moderate self-criticism keeps us from making decisions that are harmful. Therefore, it is important to honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses.

But it’s just as important to remember that it’s okay to fail if you’ve learned from it a good experience. If you begin to reproach yourself for every wrong step, self-criticism develops into self-flagellation.

Don't give up opportunities just because of the chance of losing. The key is to learn the right lessons from the wrong actions. And unreasonable self-criticism should not prevent this.