4 Steps to Managing Emotions

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

People who cannot control their emotions harm not only themselves but also those around them. Teacher and trainer Andrey Yakomaskin shares simple self-control methods that will help you maintain a healthy emotional state.

Science fiction writer Frank Herbert wrote that the most dangerous person is the one who has no emotions. To this we can add that no less dangerous is a person who is not able to control emotions.

We experience many different emotions every day. Most of them we are not even aware of, and those that we still define consciously, we cannot always keep in check. This often harms not only us, but also the people around us.

It doesn't take years of practice to learn how to control your senses. It is enough to master four simple but effective ways.

1. Identify and name emotions

We all experience a range of emotions. According to various estimates, a person has about 10 main groups of emotions and more than 200 auxiliary ones. Often times, mistaking one feeling for another, we make mistakes that lead to impulsive decisions.

Every emotion has a root cause. To find it, you need to correctly define what you are feeling at the moment.

The first thing to learn for a person who has decided to master self-control is to understand what emotions he experiences every day. To do this, it is enough to mark their manifestation at the right time. Feeling angry? Take note of your feelings, be aware of them and accept them.

This technique not only teaches you to listen more carefully to your inner voice, but also expands the range of emotions, which makes the second step easier.

2. Express your feelings

Conduct a simple experiment: take a piece of paper and write in 5 minutes all the feelings that you have experienced during the last week. How many of them will there be?

But only one pleasure can have such shades as happiness, joy, relief, admiration, bliss, amazement, exultation. And each of them is expressed in its own way.

Once you expand the palette of your emotions by defining and naming them, feel them to determine the cause. This will help get rid of negative emotions and brighten those that bring happiness.

Expressing feelings does not imply violent blows against the wall or an inadequate burst of fun. It is enough to find the right person and share with him your impressions of the events that evoke emotions in you.

The main thing is not to try to constantly suppress them in yourself. The stronger the suppression, the stronger the flash.

3. Rate the strength of feelings

When a person experiences strong emotions, I ask him to rate them on a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is absolute calmness, 10 is the most terrible thing that I have ever experienced. The moment a person performs this action, he begins to evaluate his feelings objectively, comparing with how bad or good everything could have happened.

When you realize that your anger is 7, ask yourself what can turn it into 6. Or what is 10 then? Maybe it's not that bad?

We manage what we can count. This simple technique allows you not to exaggerate the troubles and helps you to better feel the moments of joy.

4. Look for the difference between feelings and actions

French writer Guillaume Musso noted: "No one can live in constant control of himself and not succumbing to any emotions." But, unfortunately, we too often mistake feelings for a signal for action, which leads to irreparable consequences.

To learn to draw a clear line between your emotions and actions, it is enough to stop and ask the question: "What can this lead to?"

If this is a moment of joy and happiness, you don't even need this question - just enjoy. But if it is anger or sadness, you should be very careful about the answer, because wrong actions at such a moment can be irreversible.

Finally

Emotional control is as much a skill as playing sports or playing a musical instrument. It takes time and practice to master it perfectly. But if you make it a part of life, it will change forever for you.

Historian Vasily Klyuchevsky wrote: "Life is not about living, but about feeling that you are living." So let's learn to feel right.

I wish you success!