11 signs you need to run away from a psychologist

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Alarm bells that indicate that the specialist does not have enough qualifications.

1. You are being diagnosed

It all depends on who is in front of you: a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Only a specialist with a higher medical - namely medical, not psychological - education and a valid certificate has the right to diagnose and prescribe medications. If we are talking about mental disorders, they are diagnosed by psychiatrists and neurologists - and for this they communicate with the patient and give him special tests and questionnaires.

And a psychologist, if he suspects a client has a disease that requires medication, may recommend that he see a doctor. And in the form of an assumption: “You may have depression and, in addition to psychotherapy, you will need to take antidepressants. Let me recommend you a good doctor. The psychologist should not make categorical statements (“I see you have an anxiety disorder, we will treat it”).

2. Your problems are devalued

That is, they make it clear that they are trifling and not worth worrying about, and you just cheated yourself in vain. And in general, there are people who are now much worse off than you. They can say about this directly: “You don't need to be so upset!”, “It’s not worth such tears,” “Nothing terrible happened. Or hint with gestures, sighs, indulgent smiles.

It doesn't have to be that way. In the session, a safe space is created between the client and a good psychologist in which the person feels that they are fully understood and accepted. Without this, he will not be able to open up and working through his situations and requests will be almost impossible.

3. You are not provided with the information you need

For example, a psychologist does not want to show educational documents, refuses to clearly explain how it works and what methods it uses, does not say whether it underwent supervision and personal therapy.

A competent specialist has no reason to be so secretive. Many psychotherapists themselves post scans of documents on their websites and in social networks and willingly answer questions. Refusal and negative reaction should definitely alert you.

4. They impose their opinion on you

Suppose you talk about what worries you, and they say to you: “Okay, well, everything is clear, you have a cold and toxic mother, and all the problems because of this. We urgently need to separate ourselves! Do not agree? This is just a defensive reaction!"

Even if everything is really so (which is not a fact), you must come to this conclusion yourself. As with anyone else. The art of the psychologist is to ask the right questions and make accurate assumptions.

5. You are told what to do

Responsibility for your life, for all decisions that you make, and for their consequences lies only with you. And a good psychologist will not take it away from you - which means that he will not decide for you what to do.

Therefore, directive and categorical statements like "You need to change your job" or "Divorce this person, you will not succeed with him" is a very alarming sign.

6. They talk to you about religion or esotericism

They advise to go to church and pray, appeal to religious texts, talk at length about karma, the astral body, energy flows or Vedic femininity.

All this is very far from scientifically proven and proven methods of therapy. No self-respecting educational institution teaches chakra research or prayer healing. This means that a "specialist" with this approach is unlikely to help you.

7. You are accused and shamed

"Is it possible ?!", "What were you thinking?", "Aren't you ashamed?", "You yourself are to blame for what happened to you." Such phrases should not sound at the session. To help the client's progress, the psychologist tries to dispense with judgments, and even more so without blame or judgment. This is unethical and can seriously hurt the person.

8. They talk to you only about themselves

For most of the session, you listen to stories from your therapist's life and his discourses on various topics. Sometimes the psychologist can really tell a little about himself, and this is done on purpose in order to establish contact with the client, help him open up or develop a thought. But usually this technique is used by specialists in a very dosage, so as not to pull the blanket over themselves.

9. Talk to you about other people

About your parents, partners, friends or colleagues. What they think, how they relate to your words and actions. Or the psychologist does not look at the situation at all from your perspective, but from the position of someone from your environment.

For example, you talk about a conflict with your mother, and the specialist seems to take her side and begins to worry about her feelings. This can happen if he has some unresolved problems and he projects his experience onto the client's situation. And if this happens all the time, perhaps the psychologist needs personal therapy, and you need another psychologist.

10. They treat you in a familiar way

The specialist uses “you” appeals, touches you, slaps you on the shoulder, jokes inappropriately. Or he even tries to be friends, calls on to go somewhere together, writes or calls for personal reasons.

There should be no such relationship between client and therapist: it will make the psychologist biased and biased and hinder your progress. So either therapy or friendship.

11. You are privy to other clients' secrets

The professional can use the example of another client's story if it somehow echoes yours and gives you ground for reflection and conclusions, or helps you understand that your reactions and feelings are completely normal.

But the psychologist does this in such a way that the person's personality cannot be identified: he does not name names, does not describe his appearance, does not specify when the client addressed him (“The woman who was recorded after you has such a drama …”). Otherwise, he will violate confidentiality, and this is unacceptable. And there is no guarantee that you will not be treated the same and your confidential information will not become public.