11 situations when it is better to remain silent

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Sometimes silence should be not only in the library. That’s when it’s worth observing it.

1. Nobody asked you

You definitely came across people who everywhere need to express their own opinion, criticize someone else's appearance, behavior, lifestyle. If someone else does it, it is always noticeable how inappropriate such statements are. But we often do not notice this behind ourselves.

Unsolicited advice and comments may have rational explanations. For example, it seems to some that they are acting out of good intentions: it will be better for a person himself if he corrects himself. In fact, this, of course, is not altruism, but selfishness - to consider your opinion so important that the addressee thinks and begins to remake himself according to your standards. It is also tactless, and often - and outright rudeness.

Rule of thumb: the fork is held with the left hand, the knife is held with the right, and the tongue is behind the teeth, if no one asks for your advice or comment. And this also applies to comments on the Internet.

There are exceptions. Sometimes it is appropriate to intervene if a person's behavior is dangerous to himself and those around him. But usually in such cases there are much fewer people willing to speak up than when it comes to a new haircut or unwillingness to marry.

2. It doesn't concern you

Many questions in our society are asked so often that they are no longer perceived as personal. For example, if someone is sick, they can easily be asked what exactly, although the topic of health is delicate. The amount of earnings can also be classified as personal, if the interlocutor does not personally sit on your neck, relationships, views on childbirth and much more.

Such questions put a person in an awkward situation, even if he evades the answer - laughs it off or translates the topic. Therefore, it is better not to ask them at all. In the end, the answer will not change anything anyway, it will only satisfy your curiosity.

3. You are on edge and poorly controlled

When a scandal is nearing its climax and emotions overwhelm, it is almost impossible to follow the expressions. It is easy to lose your head and utter words whose purpose is only to hit you harder. And the closer the person is to you, the easier it is to hit the target. When you know someone well, you see their vulnerabilities. That is why the accusations look plausible, as they fall on fertile ground. Then it’s impossible to explain that you don’t really think so.

If emotions are overwhelmed, it is better to take a break, cool down and return to the conversation with a sober head. True, it is still worth talking about what is happening, and not just shutting up. Otherwise, it can be perceived as ignoring, which is also unpleasant.

4. The conflict fades away on its own

It happens that the quarrel has come to naught. The participants regained their breath and calmed down. But then one of them remembers something and the conflict goes on in a second circle, becoming stronger and more destructive.

It's good when, after clarifying the relationship, everything can be put on the shelves. Trying to just forget unpleasant things is a bad strategy that will eventually lead to new fights. However, if something comes up in memory when the current conflict is over, it is worth first analyzing whether it is relevant. If not, it makes sense to remain silent, because it will definitely not work out to have a constructive conversation right now.

5. You are deliberately provoked

Trolling as a deliberate provocation in order to piss off a person appeared long before the Internet. Even cats practice it when over and over again throw something off the table with their fluffy paws and watch you freak out.

The troll does not defend his opinion, he does not conduct a dialogue with you at all. He acts in the spotlight and plays the role of the person who pisses you off. And he can definitely do it if you allow yourself to be drawn into this game. Do not allow.

6. You are the third in a row

Let's say two of your friends, or parents, or someone else close are quarreling. Moreover, this is not a discussion where facts decide everything, but simply a showdown. Getting into a fight is hardly worth it, even if you have arguments. Nobody will hear your explanations, but everyone will draw conclusions, on whose side you are. As a result, the sediment will remain with you and with them. Just let people figure it out on their own.

7. You are about to make a promise that you cannot keep

When someone is desperate and looks at you hopefully, saying no is unpleasant. It's much easier to promise to do anything. But this easy path is much more dangerous. The person will rely on you, instead of now assessing the scale of the problems and figuring out how to cope with them without your help. Therefore, it is better to be silent than to promise the unrealizable.

8. You are about to reveal someone else's secret

If a person trusts you with a secret, you work as a receiver, not as a transmitter. It should stay that way. Otherwise, at best, other people's secrets turn into gossip, which spreads further, and usually in a very altered form. At worst, your talkativeness can cost a person relationships, work, and even life if it drives him to despair.

9. You guessed something that the person does not want to disclose

The Internet illustrates the problem most eloquently. Let's say a girl appears in loose clothing in several photos in a row on a blog. Often there is someone who decides to show discernment and congratulate you on your pregnancy. True, it is not clear why.

It may be nice to know that you were the first to guess, but for this neither the Sherlock Holmes Order nor a pie from the shelf will be given. But a person can be put in an uncomfortable position if it is true, but he does not want to tell, and if it is not true. It is better to remain silent and wait until everything falls into place by itself.

10. You leave the abuser

Knowing that you are about to free yourself from the abuser's control can trigger a new round of aggression. Therefore, it is important that until X-hour he or she is not aware of anything. So you should only share your plans with people who help you and you are guaranteed not to be passed over.

11. Alcohol drowns out the voice of reason

Sometimes, under the influence of alcohol, you just want to express "the whole truth." Only, firstly, momentary emotions do not necessarily reflect your real view of things. Secondly, not every truth needs to be voiced. As a result, you can very much regret what was said.